It happens that we can be offended and rude even in the most seemingly inappropriate place, for example, in a store where, in theory, “the buyer is always right”, or in a clinic, in a bank, at work, in an educational institution, and just at home same at home.

It took place to watch the picture, as a young mother, carrying a stroller with a baby, was attacked by a security guard and began to yell that it was forbidden to drive into the store with strollers, although it was illegal.

Some people have such an atmosphere at work that it is not clear how they survive there. The boss can easily be rude or call his subordinate, and the workers do not dare to object to him, being afraid to fly out of office.

If you were offended, said rudely or called names, you should not become discouraged, rush with your fists at the offender.

What to do if you were called names, rude, rude:

• You can just keep silent, not react, grinning arrogantly. On offenders, this method often acts discouragingly, because their words did not have the desired effect.
• Answer briefly: "You are rude and ill-mannered." In some cases, you will put the offender into a stupor, put him in his place, and while he stands with his eyes bulging, you can leave the place of collision with your head held high.
• Read a rude lecture about polite behavior in society, or say: "Zainka, God bless you!" with a sweet smile.
• If possible, be calm when you hear dissonant remarks addressed to you, do not shout and do not climb with your fists, by this you only show how much the words of a rude person hurt you. It’s better to answer with a smile something like this: “Why so much interest in my person?” “You don’t have your own personal life, did you decide to participate in someone else’s?”
• Say this: “If you have such low self-esteem that you can only humiliate others by exalting yourself, then I advise you to seek help and support from a psychologist, because people like you do not have real friends.”
• Response to a boorish woman: "You are as smart and kind as you are beautiful."
• Of course, you can respond in kind and be rude in return, sliding down to the level of a rude offender, but shouting out your tirade in response, you can throw off the overwhelming tension a little. However, this is the most unfortunate of the options.

Here are some more responses that you can use when confronting an offender:

• I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you;
• Appreciated the depth of your thought, thank you!
• Thank you for your attention to my personality, that you were not too lazy to criticize it;
• For God's sake, I don't mind. I love being hated;
• Is that all you wanted to say?
• I had a better opinion of you;
• Rudeness does not suit you at all;
• Do you want a polite answer or the truth?
• Why are you trying to look worse than you really are?
  

Depending on the situation, you can put into practice all of the above methods of dealing with boors and rude people, in especially unpleasant situations, try to give out a witty joke or remark.

It is not sad, but it also happens that none of the above helps, especially for teenagers. Offenders can consider ignoring and silence as cowardice and weakness, and with even greater bitterness they continue to make fun and mock a person. In this case, there is only one way through which you can earn the respect of your peers - to hit back the offender. This will show that you are not afraid, and are not going to continue to endure insulting ridicule, name-calling and rudeness.

There are various situations in life. It happens that a conflict situation has occurred with a person and you have been insulted. It must have happened to everyone.

Be it random insults or specific ones. With colleagues at work, or in a friendly company, or with a stranger in a store. Most often insulted intentionally, for some purpose, for example, trying to offend, humiliate, or show that the offender is better than you.

Insult- this is always unpleasant, so you need to know how to respond to them. Those who do not know how to respond to insults can go into serious depression. Therefore, here it will be written about how to respond to insults.

First, in order to understand how to competently respond to an insult, you need to discard all emotions. Especially fear. Otherwise, the offender may feel that you are afraid and then he will continue to offend you more.

He himself experiences fear, but sensing yours, he will become impudent and rude more and more every time. Therefore, remember that you are strong when you are confident.

You may be offended to the core by phrases that you consider to be true. But it's not. So just make it clear to others. Start loving yourself, from your fingertips to your hair and your soul. There are no more like you. Remember this. You are unique. Nobody has the right to be rude to you. You are good at everything that gives you joy. You are smart. You are beautiful. Say nice words to yourself every morning in front of the mirror, admire yourself.

Think carefully, why do people try to offend people who are not like them? In fact, the answer is simple - people are afraid. They are afraid to look weaker than others, thereby insulting and humiliating you. Don't give up and don't let them insult you.

They try to appear stronger by humiliating others, but in reality, offenders are weak personalities.

Therefore, be smarter, be calm about unpleasant phrases addressed to you. remember, that this person is weaker than you and is afraid of simply being worse than you.

Nobody can insult you. If they directly run into you, for example, in a store, that you choose something for a long time, or you pay for a long time in line for a ticket, and they shout at you, then do not be silent! Approach the one who is yelling at you and ask: “Who gave you the right to talk to me like that?”, “Who am I to you so that you yell at me? You can yell at your wife at home or at your son!

Thus, you can force the offender to stir the brains. Maybe he will understand the fact that everyone has the same rights. And if your boss or colleague offends you at work, then give him the Constitution of the Russian Federation. Maybe next time your colleagues will watch the language.

It must be remembered that constructive criticism and insults are different things. So, as criticism implies assistance in eliminating the shortcomings of a person, and when insulting, a person humiliates someone else's dignity, while demonstrating his own. Therefore, there is not a drop of truth in insults and therefore you should not take them to heart and delve into yourself, thereby causing sadness and bad emotions in yourself.

Sometimes offenders use non-normative vocabulary, very rude phrases, in order to offend more. It happens that they use subtle insults, manifested through frank sarcasm, ridicule. In order to correctly respond to the words of the offender, you need to understand what insults are flying in your direction. For example, you do not need to respond to insults with direct obscene words, you can simply use the knowledge of neurolinguistic programming.

There are too emotional personalities who are not familiar to you, but landed in a public place. These can behave inappropriately and attack with fists. Therefore, if you sense that a person is not friendly with the language, then just ignore it. Why would you stoop to the same level. Yes, and the fight will definitely not lead to good.

It is best to calmly respond with an indifferent voice or ignore it. It turns out that you do not care what he thinks and says. As a result, he will quickly fall behind. There are situations when you can answer in the same manner as you are addressed. You are a leader, you love yourself.

For example, At work with a smirk they tell you that you are so ridiculous that you put on a rumpled shirt. You can respond in the same vein: “Thank you for your concern, and you have had bags under your eyes all week. What would that have to do with it?" And smile sweetly.

Interesting thing, when they try to give you a negative assessment of your appearance or your actions, try to thank the person. This will obviously baffle him and he will not find anything else to say. Major companies have weekly meetings. Usually the meetings look like this, when the boss gathers his subordinates and begins to scold, sometimes shout, etc.

For those who are not pleased and hurt to hear the boss scream, there is an interesting thing that is easy to do.

Just imagine that you went to visit a large aquarium, and your boss is a fish that does nothing but open its mouth. But not a single sound is heard.

This wonderful psychological thing will help those who are nervous about the negativity of their boss. After all, you can’t answer the boss with an insult or yell at him, but no one can stop you from not listening to him.

If, after a vacation, your “beloved” colleague tries to poke you on the topic that you have recovered well, then agree with him with a smile. He can continue the conversation with the question, what will you do with the extra weight? Tell him that you decided to be fat and you like McDonald's food, and athletes do not inspire you.

How to respond to insults:

1. Most importantly, be smarter than the one who is trying to offend you.
2. Do not stoop to the level of the offender, do not yell at him, do not let direct insults - this will only aggravate the situation.
3. Remember that the one who offends you is already in a losing position. Such people need to be sincerely sorry, most likely they have already been offended by life.
4. Everyone has the same rights.
5. Answer in the same way.
6. You are a strong person.
7. Turn off emotions.
8. Love yourself.

Remember that there is no exact way to properly respond to insults. After all, it depends on the situation and on who offends you. But thanks to this article, you can understand how to respond to offenders.

If you learn how to deal with bullying and insults, it will be easier for you to behave in such unpleasant social situations. To protect yourself from bullying and insults, assess the situation, respond appropriately, and seek help if needed.

Steps

Assess the situation

Realize that it's not about you. People who tease and insult others are insecure themselves. Their bullying is often driven by fear, narcissism, and a desire to be in control. By bullying others, they feel stronger. Realizing that the problem lies with the abuser, and not with you, will help you become more confident in the current situation.

Understand what drives your abuser. If you make an effort to understand why a particular person is insulting or teasing you, you will have the key to solving the problem. Sometimes people bully others to assert themselves, and sometimes they do it because they don't understand you or the situation as well as they could. Or they are just jealous of what you have done or achieved.

1. Develop a plan to avoid the person or situation if possible. Avoiding the abuser can help minimize the amount of abuse or bullying you experience. And while it's not always possible, come up with ways to cut down on the amount of time you have to spend with a bully, or avoid contact altogether.

   • If you are being bullied when you get home from school, work with your parents to develop a safe route to avoid bullying or abuse.
   • If you are being teased or abused online, consider removing the offender from your social media or reducing the amount of time you spend on certain apps.

2. Determine if bullying is against the law. Sometimes bullying or insults are a direct violation of one of the codes or the Constitution of the Russian Federation. For example, if at work you experience sexual harassment by a colleague (not necessarily physical, but also verbal), this is already a violation of article 133 of the Criminal Code, and you must report it immediately.

   • If you are in school, you have the right to study in a safe, distraction-free environment. If someone is bullying you to the point that you don't feel safe, or it interferes with your studies (for example, by discouraging you from coming to school), you should discuss this with your parents or teacher.

3. Learn to be a more determined person . The ability to be decisive will help you deal with bullying. To be decisive, it is important to be able to say “no” to people, as well as clearly and clearly express your needs.

   • Tell me what specifically worries you. For example: "You often tease me about my hair, calling me a poodle or a lamb."
   • Express your feelings about the bullying. For example, you could say, “It makes me angry when you say these things because I personally think my hair looks amazing.”
   • Say what you would like. For example: “I want you to stop making fun of my hair. If you do it again, I'll leave."

This happens especially often in a new, still emerging school community - the first or fifth grade: some children begin to tease others, call names. What should I do if my child is being bullied at school? Is it possible to teach him how to properly respond to teasing and offensive name-calling? When should you ask a teacher for help? Where is the line drawn between "child being teased" and "bullying at school"?

I’ll say the main thing right away: when they laugh at you, it’s unpleasant, and sometimes very insulting. Someone somewhere said a bad joke about you, and the rest - ha ha ha, how funny! And you stand in confusion and annoyance, but you don’t know what to do. Either get angry, or cry, or climb on the offenders with their fists.

Let's imagine such a situation. So you want to sit on a chair, you already sort of squat, suddenly you are distracted by something and - bang! - you miss the seat and land on the floor. And everyone around, how let's laugh, already grabbed their stomachs. But are they laughing at you? It's hard to believe, but most likely not!

They laugh at the situation.

Remember, in various comedy films there are scenes when the characters run and suddenly fall awkwardly. Either they are imprinted in a tree, or they cannot climb over the fence. Are we, the audience, funny? Of course, very funny! In life, everything is exactly the same: we have fun when someone gets into a comical situation. But we don’t want to offend anyone with our laughter, right?

Here are the guys who liked your hit past the chair so much, most likely, they laugh without malice. But even if one of them is really very happy about your fall and not only laughs, but also says words that are offensive to you, then, believe me, this only means that such a person is poorly educated and weak. After all, he can only attract attention to himself at the expense of others, taking advantage of the awkwardness of your position.

How to proceed in such a case?

First, of course, do not take laughter personally and do not be offended. I understand that this is quite difficult, but it's worth a try. Remember at this moment that, as we said, they are not laughing at you, but at the situation.

And secondly, to laugh loudly and loudly along with everyone. Together you can not only play, but also laugh - this will remove the awkwardness that has arisen, and only positive emotions will remain in your memory.

Sometimes children joke and tease each other because they are just bored. Do nothing. And they can’t think of anything else interesting and smart, except to gawk. "Oh, your pants are inside out, ha ha ha!".

But some children laugh at those who are somehow different from themselves - who have big ears or who are always tripping and hitting corners, who have a funny last name or who stutters a little. And here it would even be more correct to say: they do not laugh, but ridicule. Because they do it on purpose, deliberately and many times.

Let's think: why do they do this? Because they are strong, brave and self-confident? Do you think so? Not at all!

A truly self-satisfied and confident person will never make fun of others. He just doesn't need the people around him to feel awkward and confused.

But an insecure person sees himself as a small and unsightly tree. But he really wants to be big and strong. And what does he do to feel like that? He begins to belittle others in order to exalt himself.

When one person makes fun of another, he tries to make him lower and himself higher. With this, he seems to be saying: "That's how important and significant I am, I don't have the shortcomings that you have. I'm better, and you're worse."

Or maybe he is afraid that people around him will see his own shortcomings and laugh at him. And in order to prevent this, he himself is the first to tease.

Do you think this is correct? Is this how you should behave - make fun of others to give yourself significance or run away from your own fears?

I'm sure your answer is no. This is wrong, dishonest and very stupid. You can't behave like that! No person has the right to make fun of another just because he is different from others - wears glasses, speaks slowly or does not know how to ride a bicycle.

However, unfortunately, there are children who want to be cooler than others. Or maybe someone offends them? Therefore, they try to win back and shift their insecurities to someone who seems weaker to them. And they start making fun of him.

What to do in such cases? How to react?

What to do if you are called names

What you definitely shouldn't do is show that teasing hurts and upsets you.

After all, what are the offenders trying to achieve? They want to embarrass you, turn you into a timid and helpless lump with eyes. And if you let them know that their arrows hit the target, they have succeeded. We saw your desperation. Understand that this is how you should be treated. And they will continue to tease, no doubt about it.

• make excuses ("I'm not like that at all!")
• climb on offenders with fists
• look away (and thus become a timid lump)
• call back
• run away and cry

Don't play their game, don't follow their rules! Give those who shoot at you back their arrows. How to do it?

Remain calm and unflappable. You have every right not to put up with offensive nicknames and firmly, looking into your eyes, say that you do not like it when they call you that.

If your protest only provokes other guys, and they continue to call names with even greater rapture, change tactics. Show everyone who laughs that their bad jokes don't move you at all. They miss the target.

Turn around and, shrugging your shoulders, calmly leave- from this place or from this company. Only those people who really respect you and do not want to hurt you can communicate with you.

Don't be afraid to be alone. After a while with your offender will remain only the same harm as he himself. And real friends will appear next to you, who will never laugh at you.

Show that you are not only not offended, but also funny or surprised to hear what they say about you.

"You have such a funny hat, ha ha ha!" - (without batting an eyelid) "This is the coolest hat in the world!"

"Fat, fat, passenger train!" - "There should be many good people."

And in some cases, just phrases-excuses will help: "Call names, call names, stay without girlfriends", "Whoever calls names, he himself is called that."

My advice to you: live with your head up, treat yourself with. And those around you will definitely notice this and think ten more times whether it makes sense to offend you.

However! You can find yourself in situations more difficult and more serious than the laughter of your comrades. I'm talking about those cases when the children with whom you communicate show real cruelty - for example, they all take up arms against one person together. They start teasing him, throwing him, hiding and spoiling things, pushing him hard, even hitting him.

You need to know that this is violence. You can't force a person! Violence destroys people, both those who attack and those who become victims. No one has the right to humiliate others and mock them. And to pile on the crowd on one is just mean.

If it happens that they attack you, do not be silent and do not tolerate bullying! Feel free to seek the help of adult teachers and parents. Don't let it scare you that you'll be known as a sneak. In such situations, without the help of adults can not cope! Your parents have an obligation to protect you! They will find a way to influence the offenders - they will go to the director, speak at the parent meeting. And the teacher will make sure that all children behave honestly towards each other.

Comment on the article "What to do if a child is offended, called names, teased"

ABOUT! I read this book with a senior. An excellent book. To the previous comment - the book was written specifically for reading by children, and therefore they give advice to children.
My son at least thought about much of what was written.

06.10.2017 00:28:05, 03.10.2017 13:15:27,

Total 4 messages .

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This is one of the first desires that arise after an insult. But a retaliatory attack is appropriate only if it:

• witty;
• takes place in the circle of relatives or friends;
• defuse the situation rather than exacerbate the conflict.

In all other cases, even if you consider yourself a wit worse than Oscar Wilde, answering an insult with an insult is not the best way out. So you sink to the level of a boorish opponent and make it clear that his words hurt you, that is, there may be some truth in them.

2. Make a joke

The difference between a witty insult and a joking response is that in the latter case, you are making fun of the situation itself. The advantages of this strategy are obvious: the insult loses its toxicity, tension, and the audience (if any) takes your side.

In this case, you can also take a pseudo-self-deprecating position. This will confuse your opponent and mask the sarcasm.

Example 1: A colleague says you've prepared an ugly presentation.

Answer: You are probably right. Next time, I won't ask my five-year-old son for help."

Example 2: A stranger calls you names.

Answer: “Thank you, this is very valuable information. You opened my eyes to my shortcomings. Something to think about over lunch."

3. Accept

In some cases, it is really worth analyzing words that seem offensive to you. Especially if they come from people close and respected by you. In this case, take their remarks not as an insult, but as criticism that can make you better.

It would be useful to think about the motives of people, to find out what exactly made them use harsh language. Perhaps this is a violent reaction to your far from angelic behavior.

4. Respond to intent, not words

Any insult always has a hidden purpose. Make the secret clear: designate it.

For example, in response to rude words, say: “Wow! Something really serious happened between us, since you decided to hurt me.

So, on the one hand, you can unsettle your opponent, and on the other hand, find out the reason for his negative attitude.

5. Keep calm

If the insult comes not from a loved one, but from a colleague, acquaintance, or even a stranger, never show that the words hurt you. Most likely, behind them lies insecurity, dissatisfaction with their own lives and a desire to simply recoup you. Don't let the trick work, react calmly and with a smile.

If necessary, continue to bend your line: ask what exactly caused such a reaction in a person, not paying attention to his words.

6. Ignore

Often the best answer is its absence. If we are talking about Internet trolls, you can simply not respond to their comments or send boors to . Well, "in offline mode" you can always skip the insult past your ears or leave. You have every right to do so.

An example from ancient Roman history... Once, in the public baths, someone hit the politician Cato. When the offender came to apologize, Cato replied: "I don't remember the blow."

This phrase can be interpreted as follows: "You are so insignificant that not only do I not care about your apology, but I did not even notice the insult itself."

7. Use the law

You can hold the offender accountable, or at least threaten him with it. Punishment for insult is prescribed in the Code of Administrative Offenses, but slander is already in the scope of criminal law. In case of insults from the boss, you can contact the personnel department.

The main thing - remember: no one has the right to encroach on your honor, dignity and reputation. But you must respond to people in the same way. Otherwise, any recommendations are meaningless.