What to do if your child is being bullied at school. If a child is bullied at school

Ekaterina Morozova

Reading time: 8 minutes

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Unfortunately, not all children are lucky with classmates and teachers. A friendly class in which children rush to run in the morning, forgetting to have breakfast, is a rarity. But not having friends at school isn't the worst part. Worse - when bullying begins over a schoolboy. According to statistics, there are more and more cases of “bullying” in modern schools every year, and not only narrow-minded classmates participate in such demonstration actions, but sometimes teachers themselves.

What to do with offenders, and how to save a child?

Signs that a teenage child is being bullied at school - learning to understand!

Whole scientific treatises can be written about the cruelty of children. Alas, at the age of 11-12 years and almost before graduation, unjustified cruelty and aggression suddenly settle in children “out of nowhere”.

Then it passes. However, not all.

And the consequences of such bullying sometimes remain with the children who were offended for life.

Senseless and merciless bullying is not a “fashion trend”. There has always been bullying. Another issue is that bullying methods have become more sophisticated, and sometimes parents even have to change their city of residence in order to protect the nervous system of their child.

How to understand that your child is bullied, offended, bullied at school?

Adolescents are children of the "secret period" of growing up. Not all of them have enough contact with their parents to avoid mistakes and make the right decision. Most often, parents become aware of this problem when it extends beyond the classroom.

In addition, it can be humiliating for a child to discuss this problem with parents - this often happens with boys whose dads drive into them from the cradle “you are a man, solve your own problems!”.

So, is it time to intervene?

The child often comes with bruises and scratches for which there is no reason.
The child often “breaks”, “spoils”, “loses” things.
The child is constantly looking for a reason not to go to school - he invents illnesses, heats a thermometer on the battery, refers to a sick stomach and head, and so on.
The child began to eat and sleep poorly. There were health problems and nightmares at night.
Academic performance is declining, as is interest in schoolwork in general.
The child is constantly depressed, reluctant to make contact.
There are attempts at self-harm and so on.
The backpack and the shape of the child are often “torn” and “dirty”.

If at least 3-4 symptoms matched, which are repeated every day, be sure that your child needs your help.

Reasons for bullying a teenager at school - why is your child beaten, humiliated, etc.?

Bullying at school is not just a temporary harmless phenomenon that a child can endure.

Bullying is dangerous with serious consequences, including not just loss of sleep, gaining complexes and a drop in the child's self-esteem, but much more dangerous - mental breakdowns and even suicide attempts.

And it doesn't have to be physical bullying. It is psychological attacks that become much more sophisticated and destructive.

No child will ever forget bullying. And not every one of those who went through persecution will endure it without consequences. Therefore, in order for our children, growing up, not to run around schools with machine guns in an attempt to take revenge on offenders (as is often shown today in the news), we need to be attentive to them not just today, but almost yesterday.

Who is at risk, and what are the main reasons for bullying?

In fact, anyone can fall into the risk group, and there are usually four reasons for bullying:

The child is not like everyone else. For example, too thin or vice versa overweight, wearing glasses, an excellent student or a loser, too active or vice versa too passive, a pushover or a quiet one, and so on. The reason for bullying today can be religion, and physical disabilities, the lack of fashionable things and the profession of parents, the shape of the eyes and the inability to fend for themselves, and so on.
Got in a hot hand - was in the wrong place and, as they say, at the wrong time.
The child is new in the class. Sometimes this is enough.
The child is behaving provocatively and provokes everyone into a retaliatory boycott or harassment.

Who usually becomes the instigator of bullying?

Teachers who have no place among teachers.
Asocial "elements" of the class. Children from dysfunctional families who arrange persecution so that they are not persecuted for belonging to such a family. Children who have mental problems. Children whose upbringing their parents simply forgot.
Popular kids are activists and leaders, the "kings and queens" of the school, who are listened to by the rest of the children, in fact becoming the retinue of these leaders.

Why is your child the victim of bullying?

Do not think that your child is somehow different. After all, even the honesty and decency of a child, perceived by peers as a weakness, can become the cause of bullying. Or the child's refusal to smoke for the company, or to bully another child.

Of course, it’s worth looking for the reason, because then it will be much easier to deal with the situation, but don’t expect this reason to be clear to you.

It is important to note one more nuance.

One of the conditions for bullying, without which, in fact, it will simply become impossible, is the connivance of the teacher:

Just a careless attitude: the teacher turns a blind eye to everything, because he doesn't care.
The teacher is not yet so experienced as to notice the persecution, which, moreover, is carried out on the sly. Or he already notices the result of bullying, when the victim begins to respond to the offenders. It is easy to guess what flies in this case from the teacher to the victim, because the offenders do their dark deeds quietly and imperceptibly. This situation is the most common. The teacher, alas, is simply not able to keep track of everything and everyone. Especially if the class is overcrowded.
The teacher himself is involved in bullying. The case is rare, but severe.

No matter how insulting it is for teachers in this situation, in most cases the atmosphere in the classroom depends on them. And it is the teacher, as the second "mother" of each of the children, who is responsible for not only their intellectual, but also their mental state at school.

What should parents do if a teenage child is being bullied at school by classmates or teachers - instructions

No one will give a recipe on the topic "how to quickly stop bullying." There are no such recipes. Why should a child be obliged to correct this or that “defect”, his own feature, which has become a reason for harassment?

If the reason for the bullying was just the bullying itself for the sake of "animal interest", then no matter who and what, but you will still be bullied. And following the lead of the instigators, trying to please them and save yourself is the worst option, because it will only increase the persecution, for which there will be 2 more reasons - weakness and self-humiliation.

What to do?

First of all - to the teacher! All school problems begin to be solved only with him. Then, if it doesn’t help, I’ll learn by heart. Then, if it doesn't help again, go to the director.
Bullying cannot be “treated” at the (primitive) victim-abuser level. To correct the situation, it is necessary to work with the entire team of "witnesses" at once.
Analyze the cause of bullying. Naturally, you don’t need to go on about the offenders, but if it’s in your power to give the child confidence, look for ways. The child is too fragile and weak - give him to the section, where he will become more self-confident. Doesn't know how to respond to offenders? Teach your child to "take a punch" (psychologically) and be "on horseback" in any situation. Problems with diction? Take it to a speech pathologist. Etc. Turn everything weaknesses children - in strong.
A good option could be a demonstrative "debriefing" with a teacher, director and parents of all parties. For teenagers, for whom all is not lost yet (the threats were imaginary, the arrogance was feigned), the prospect of dropping out of school or even getting registered in the children's room of the police can be an excellent incentive to pacify their ambitions and change their behavior.
If violence is used, there is a direct path to the director through the teacher, and then to the prosecutor's office, and so on. Not a single fact of violence should be left without the reaction of parents - even a petty prank in the form of a slap on the back of the head of a classmate or a tripped up can lead to serious consequences.
Teach your child to act in a way that offenders do not expect : calmly respond to swearing, ignore taunts, and so on. Of course, in the case when more serious persecution begins, damage to the child’s things, when he is not allowed to pass, when serious insults and the use of force begin, you cannot tolerate it - you need to act, and immediately and tough. Again - not on their own, but through teachers, directors and parents of offenders.
Find a way to befriend your child with bullies. In this way, a joint trip somewhere (with the whole class) can be - on an excursion, on a picnic, etc., common games and hobbies, mugs, you can also invite children to visit for a birthday. Naturally, enemies will not immediately turn into friends, but they will nevertheless become less dangerous, and someone will turn into allies. This, of course, is not about bribing offenders! This is the worst decision a parent can make.
Help your child overcome fear. Sometimes it’s enough just to stop being afraid of bullies for them to stop bullying.
Help your child to assert themselves if there are no such opportunities at school for him. Let him find himself in sports or in a hobby: be sure to find an activity for your child that will increase his self-confidence and self-esteem.
Protect your child from bullies as much as you can : meet from school and see off until the situation subsides by itself. As a rule, most of the bullying in the process of bullying of classmates occurs after school outside of its territory. And there are too many witnesses in the school itself.
Buy your child a special technical device , which will help you to be aware of both the current situation and the whereabouts of the child.

These tips are good for situations that don't go too far.

But what if the offender is a real aggressor, against whom neither the teacher, nor the director, nor the parents of the aggressor themselves can find control?

In this case, act hard and fast! Of course, you won’t be able to organize protection from scratch, but if there are already facts of influence on your child, then don’t wait until the director stops being afraid of publicity (they are so afraid of “noise” that they are ready to sacrifice schoolchildren to these juvenile villains).

Your actions: an application addressed to the director and, in the absence of any reaction, an application to the RONO, then to the police. Testimony of witnesses, other parents, certificates from the emergency room, etc. can be attached to the application. Well, then - to the court.

Or maybe you don't need to?

There are times when a parent asks the question - “wouldn’t it get worse for the child if I intervene?”.

Yes, there are situations in which it is better not to get involved. But if it really came to bullying, which the child is not able to cope with alone (and not a one-time insult or quarrel between classmates), then how can you make it worse by stopping this bullying?

Imagine for a second what could happen to your child if he cannot cope with this load of problems? It’s better to get in where you weren’t invited than to regret later that you didn’t intervene.

What is absolutely impossible to do?

Carry out lynching of offenders. No matter how much you want to "snot on the snot" these hooligans, you can not do this. Firstly, you won’t solve the situation with this, and secondly, in this case you can be brought “under the article” (“there was nothing to touch other people’s children”), and the offenders will get another reason to persecute your child. We act strictly within the law!
Teach the child to respond to such actions. No need to teach the child to respond in kind. Even when it comes to the use of force. Of course, it's great when a child can stand up for himself, but you can't teach them to "hit back." Sometimes such answers become, quite by accident, the cause of disability and even death of the offender (unfortunately fell, etc.).
Trying to "buy" the location of offenders. Bribing is one of the most senseless, stupid decisions that will eventually lead to a backlash, and the child will be branded a weakling, a sycophant and a “six” for a long time.
Ignore the bullying of the child and leave him alone in solving this problem (“he can handle it himself!”). Remember - he may not be able to cope.

Transfer to another school - or not to transfer?

Of course, you can transfer your child to another class, and to another school, and even move to another city - but is there any point in this?

In most cases, such measures are simply not justified, and the problem is exhausted rather quickly, and by the end of the training, the offenders with the victims become almost best friends.

Therefore, carefully analyze the situation and weigh the "pros and cons" - perhaps the translation is not needed, and the joint efforts of teachers, you and the child can bring the problem to naught.

Another question is if teachers and the director do not want to delve into the problem, and bullying takes on proportions that threaten not only nervous system, but also the health of the child - here you don’t have to choose.

And the most important: keep your finger on the pulse! Go to school meetings, talk to your child, get to know his teachers and classmates, be aware of the problems and successes of the child in order to give timely advice, warn against mistakes, help and lay straws.

Have there been similar situations in your life? And how did you get out of them? Share your stories in the comments below!

Among other things, a school for a child is a place where for the first time he stays for some, albeit small, time without adult supervision, along with his classmates. But what if the relationship with classmates does not add up? If other children are not friends and comrades, but a source of anxiety and even danger?

The problem of school violence in last years is particularly acute. And all parents need to think about what can be done to avoid children's conflicts. First of all, you need to pay attention to the situation in the family. Most often, the victim of school violence is a child whose family often has quarrels, where it is customary to communicate in raised tones. Children growing up in such conditions learn such a model of behavior as a standard one and automatically transfer it to a new environment, which significantly complicates communication.

If there are powerful, authoritarian parents in the family who completely suppress the will of their child and make all decisions for him, then such a child also falls into the category of children who are most often ridiculed and even beaten by classmates.

Therefore, first of all, pay attention to what the atmosphere is like inside the family, maybe this was the prerequisite for the difficult relationship of your child with classmates.

However, conflicts often occur in children from wealthy families, especially if your child is special: different from other children in height, weight, non-standard appearance, or simply certain traits of character and behavior. Too small, too tall, too fat or too thin, red-haired, bespectacled, too shy or too touchy can be attacked at school. But even if your baby does not have any of these traits, it is still worth asking what is the relationship of your child with other children. If you find out that your son or daughter has become the object of ridicule, you need to intervene immediately, because ridicule often develops into a more serious problem - child abuse. It is necessary to carefully study the behavior of the child in the first days at school. It will not necessarily be open harassment or violence, it can also be passive rejection (unwillingness to sit at the same desk, play on the same team) or ignoring the child (not noticing him, not paying attention to him). All this traumatizes children no less than nit-picking and ridicule.

How to resist children's conflicts at school and help the child?

Many of the parents in such a situation offer the child to cope on his own in order to develop independence in him. If it's just a minor conflict with one of your classmates that doesn't lead to serious consequences, this can be a really good method. However, if the problem is deeper and the child is in confrontation with a large group of children or with the whole class, he cannot do without the help of parents and a teacher.

There is also the opposite decision - to go and resolve the conflict yourself. In such a situation, parents can chastise the bullies, which leads to negative consequences: the offenders begin to threaten their victim with reprisal for reporting the conflict to their parents. Attempts by parents to sort out the situation with the parents of offenders also most often lead to nothing.

Psychologists in this difficult situation are advised to teach the child to protect himself on his own. And this does not mean physical strength, because forceful methods usually turn out to be ineffective against moral violence. While there are certainly times when exercising can be the best thing to do: for example, if your child is being teased for being overweight or awkward, exercising can help them develop strength, agility, lose weight, and gain self-confidence. But the most important thing is to teach the child to respect himself as a person, only in this case the child will be able to make others respect him. And you should help him in this too. The child realizes his individuality through awareness of himself "like everyone else." In this sense, it is sometimes useful to follow his lead: if a child is embarrassed by some of his things, clothes, and he wants it to be "like the guys", try to do it the way he wants - most likely, this will give him confidence in yourself. But this does not mean that you need to fulfill all the whims, there should be a measure in everything.

Help your child make friends with classmates. Ask him what sections, circles his new comrades go to. Maybe your child will be interested in some of them. This is a great opportunity to make friends with other children based on common interests. Also encourage children to socialize outside of school, it may be worth inviting some children to your home from time to time. School-wide or classroom activities are especially good for bringing children together. Monitor your child's participation in these activities.

It is the parents who can best teach the child to communicate with peers, give him a model correct behavior learn to stand up for yourself and fight back. But do not seek to resolve all conflicts alone. In difficult situations, when the child has become an outcast in the classroom, it makes sense to involve teachers, the class teacher and psychologists in solving the problem. Joint efforts will surely lead to success and your child will become a full-fledged member of the team, find friends and feel comfortable at school.

Now you know what to do if a child is being bullied in primary school classmates, psychologist's advice.

Is your child being bullied at school? Does he find it difficult to take care of himself? Become a Friend for him and help solve this problem - it is surmountable!

Why do children become objects of ridicule?

It would seem, where does childish cruelty come from? After all, babies are born so innocent, defenseless ... Why is there so much evil in them that they poison their classmates with pleasure and laugh at the helpless?

In fact, these are the realities of our time. An ordinary child sees thousands of scenes of violence and mockery of the weak every day on TV. He can "kill" several opponents in just one minute of a computer "shooter". And he takes it as the norm. A plus aggressive behavior the head of the family, which today is not uncommon. And believe me, if such a child does not become an object of ridicule at school, then he will gladly join others and offend another student with them. With rare exceptions.

But what to do if your child is disliked in the class? Ignore? Not worth it. Sometimes the consequences of such a problem can be unpredictable. So, for example, the famous serial killer Chikatilo was bullied in his childhood by his classmates. And his mother not only did not interfere, but also contributed in some way. As a result, when Chikatilo's classmates once again severely beat and mocked him, he literally "went crazy" ...

There is one “but” in this story - the boy did not have support from adults. And this is very important. Let's take another example - the childhood of the famous writer Stephen King. He was also bullied at school, and severely. But every day after school he came home, opened the door and plunged, in his words, "in the sea of love." His mother simply adored her son and supported him in every possible way. Therefore, King not only did not break morally, but was also able to become a real star and one of the richest people in the world.

If you are already reading this article, it means that your child already has support. The problem of school violence is completely solvable, it is only important to know how and what to do.

What children are usually laughed at?

Surprisingly, as soon as a newcomer comes to the class, any teacher from the first minutes of meeting can definitely say whether the new leader, the soul of the company, the quiet one, or they will laugh at him. And it's not even a matter of professional flair. In fact, it is possible to single out a certain category of children who most often become the object of peer ridicule:

children with a bright atypical appearance, different from others. These are red-haired, too tall or short boys, angular awkward teenage girls, pimply, fat, or simply having some kind of noticeable defect in appearance;
children who are “downtrodden”, who, in simple terms, have “I can be offended” written on their foreheads. They have an unsteady gait, a frightened look, an extremely sluggish reaction to poking and insults from classmates. Such children often become "whipping boys";
children who are characterized by rather aggressive behavior and often start conflicts themselves. They react especially brightly to any unfriendly look and soon become "local clowns", which other children are even interested in. once again provoke;
children who are distinguished by natural slowness, inattention and lack of quick reaction. They like to play pranks on such children and make fun of them;
children who are sloppy are late for classes, study poorly and are poorly dressed. Often these children are from dysfunctional families.

Of course, even the most good child, who knows how to make friends and is confident in himself, may become the object of bullying from his classmates. There can be many reasons - a stupid mistake, a secret told to a friend, which immediately "circled" the whole class, and even a declaration of love. Of course, such a “war” can be short-lived, but then what about the kids who have red hair, or too thin physique, or a dissonant last name, for example?

Children are cruel by nature, and by humiliating others they try to exalt themselves in their own eyes. However, so do adults.

Is it worth getting involved?

It is absolutely necessary to intervene in such a situation. After all, children's cruelty sometimes has no boundaries. It's one thing if a child is simply periodically teased or called names, but it is not uncommon today for divorced teenagers to make their victims drink gasoline or even jump from the roof. Guilty in such cases is more herd instinct - the leader invents a dangerous idea, and other participants agree with him. At the same time, the leader, feeling supported, goes even further, and the circle closes.

Therefore, in order to avoid tragedy and not let things take their course, it is necessary to help the child. But it all depends on age. Yes, if they offend elementary school student, in this case, it is enough to talk with the teacher or scare the tomboys. An adult for offenders at this age is still an authority. But to run into the classroom to a teenage son and start yelling at his classmates will not only be useless, but can also provoke even greater ridicule at the “mother's son”.

In this case, it is very important to talk to the child himself and ask him the question: “Do you want me to intervene in this situation? Do you need this kind of help, or are you confident in your abilities and can handle it yourself? Usually children answer this question sincerely. If the child decides that he can handle it on his own, support him with faith in his strength.

One of the good options is to talk to the main ringleader (and in every gang of offenders there is always a leader). It is better if the older brother of the child or, at the request of a neighboring older boy from the same school, talks to him. It is necessary that he verbally intimidate the bully and make it clear that he will not get away with attacking others. But - only verbally. When the leader of the offenders realizes that he can get from someone older for his actions in the future, he will prefer to calm down and no longer insult his classmate. After all, the main reason for child cruelty is impunity.

Should I transfer my child to another class or school?

Many parents, as soon as their child encounters violence within the walls, try to immediately transfer their child to a parallel class or even school. Of course, to some extent this solves the problem, for a while. But in this case, it is worth considering the following points:

Will it be easy for a child to adapt to a new team if in the past he has “lost”?
how will he explain to his new classmates why he had to change his place of study?
what will a child do if his new friends find out that he was beaten or humiliated at a previous school (and the world is small)? Where would you need to run then?

Therefore, if the situation is not yet critical, it is better to take measures in advance and try to solve the problem on the spot.

How to help your child if he is being bullied at school?

Pay attention to many leaders of cool teams. Often they themselves have flaws in appearance - full, too high, with protruding ears ... After all, it is of great importance inner strength spirit, courage, ability to confront problems. Thus, children who are open to ridicule and do not know how to defend themselves psychologically are classified as victimized. And victimization - the inability to fight back or, on the contrary, the habit of provoking conflict - must be overcome. After all, the child still lives among people, and this needs to be learned.

1. Games

It is highly desirable for a child who is bullied at school to professionally engage in some kind of sports game. Let it be football, which will teach the social laws of interaction among people, basketball, which will develop muscles and help you look more solid, and even chess, which will teach you strategic thinking and distract you from sad thoughts.

2. Books and films

Especially for your offended child, it is advisable to pick up special films (there are many American productions) and books where the main character endured ridicule at school and was able to overcome it. The child will look and read such stories with pleasure, be inspired and take interesting ideas for himself.

3. Classes with a psychologist

If the child agrees to talk to a psychologist, then it is better to find such a specialist. He will definitely help overcome self-doubt, perhaps find the reasons for the unpopularity of the child in the class and give good advice.

4. Circle of friends

It is very important that the child has his own circle of friends, even outside of school. He can find them in a circle or a sports section, and even while communicating via Skype with other players of some virtual game. It is very important that the child acquires a positive experience of communicating with other peers, and gradually transfers it to communication with classmates who do not like him. And he tried to respond to all attacks with humor and calmness.

What if the mockery continues?

Of course, not everything in this life is in our hands. In extreme cases, the child may still need to be transferred to another school or to homeschooling. In any case, there is no need to leave the situation as it is. If one method doesn't work, look for another. But know that many of today's show business stars recall with a shudder their school years, but still managed to achieve incredible popularity and find happiness. But their offenders, for the most part, live a gray life, struggle with lack of money and drunkenness of their halves and suffer from violence and ridicule of others (such is the immutable law of life of a boomerang - all our actions and actions in relation to other people will definitely return to us one day).

School years are not the whole life, and not even the most significant part of it. If a child is offended by classmates, do not turn it into a tragedy. Join forces with your son or daughter, try the proposed methods, teach the child psychological resilience and self-respect, help him to be not someone's victim, but a Personality. You will definitely be able to solve this problem! And it will be a victory that your child will remember for a lifetime.

Bullying at school is a dramatic and unpleasant complication of school life that leaves spiritual scars. How to find out that a child is being bullied at school and what to do in this case?

Intimidation and ridicule in an educational institution is a type of mobbing that is practiced among employees at work. A child persecuted by ill-wishers, hears humiliating nicknames addressed to him, suffers public ridicule, damage to property and physical attacks. It can also be threatening text messages on mobile phone or email (cyberbullying, read more). Sexual harassment is most common among teenagers, including comments about body shape, vulgar jokes, and attempts to remove part of clothing. As a rule, teenagers perceive this as another joke or withdraw into themselves, suffering from inferiority complexes. Parents find out about this too late - when the child has grown up or is under a serious attack that cannot be hidden.

The child is bullied at school - signs

Usually, young criminals choose a victim among well-mannered, modest and impressionable children, as they do not have the courage to fight back. The purpose of humiliation is to feel satisfaction, to gain power over another person, to increase reputation in the social circle. The victim, in turn, rarely asks for help, the child is ashamed to say that he cannot solve the problem on his own or it seems to him too personal. How to understand whether they are offending at school or not?

Typical signs are:

unwillingness to attend school - absenteeism, imitation of illness
lack of friends - avoids meeting with peers, not invited to holidays, no friends among classmates
decline in performance bad marks, lack of motivation
behavior change – the child becomes irritable or depressed
insomnia, poor appetite
suicidal thoughts - interest in suicide, reading books or articles on the subject, attempts
low self-esteem
unexplained loss of belongings - personal items are often “lost” or damaged from office supplies to clothes and money for lunch.

If the above is noticed, first of all, it is necessary to notify the management of the educational institution, after which, pay attention to the child.

How to help a child if he is being bullied

Start with a conversation. Blaming weakness and inability to communicate, ridiculing, downplaying the situation is a big mistake. The next time, the child will not respond to a request to talk about the circumstances. Listen carefully - the information received will help determine how serious the situation is and take appropriate measures. It is possible that at the beginning of the conversation the child will be withdrawn or irritable, most likely, the abuser intimidated by a strict ban on reporting bullying. Provide a sense of security, explain that help is required for everyone who is involved in the conflict in one way or another. Don't blame the oppressor or yourself, think about how to fix it.

No child is to blame for being the victim of bullying.

Everyone has the right to be sensitive and weak.

No one has the right to harm a person, to use actions that degrade a person.

Learn how to deal with bullying in school. Develop a plan of responses to the abuser that would stop him or make it clear that the victim is able to stand up for himself. Practice a difficult situation in the form of a game, inform the child in which situations he should immediately turn to adults. If these are verbal messages - an angry facial expression, indecent gestures, it is better to show indifference. Thus, the aggressor will realize that the messages do not produce the desired effect, and he will lose interest. Verbal threats, blackmail and humiliation can also be ignored, but if they do not stop or are supplemented by physical actions, a response is indispensable.

Beating, pushing, spitting, robbery, destruction or damage to property - require the most severe punishment. Physical aggression is exacerbated by an inability to respond to provocation, crying or a sudden escape encourages the attacker to humiliate for fun. Here, reservations like “you have nothing to do” or “leave me alone” will not save, therefore, the immediate intervention of an adult is required. However, such a method as a complaint to the parents of the offender is not recommended, first of all, the education staff and the school psychologist should find out about the problem. Leave the fight against the young "criminal" to the school, do not forget that aggressive behavior is the result of many factors - neurological abnormalities, a dysfunctional or incomplete family, lack of attention, etc. In this case, both your baby and the young "villain" need help. You should not use violence against the aggressor (sometimes desperate parents act this way), and you should not be aggressive towards school employees.

What to do if your child is being bullied at school:

keep a record of all violent situations that the victim talks about
tell the police if a toddler is beaten or robbed
meet with the class teacher, talk about the situation and ask what actions will be taken. Declare willingness to cooperate
remember the agreement with the teacher and his decision
contact the teacher several times if bullying continues at school
when the teacher's measures fail, make an appointment with the director, describe the circumstances and the measures taken
if the aggression worsens (the methods of the director and the teacher are not effective), contact the body supervising educational institutions with a request to investigate the case of the child and evaluate the activities of the school in addressing the problems of violence
notify the regional commissioner for children's rights if all of the above does not resolve the conflict.

In addition, find a good psychologist who will restore your child's self-esteem and teach you how to properly communicate with ill-wishers. Check if there are other parents with a similar problem, unite to solve it with common efforts. The option of transferring to another school is not the best, unpleasant people are also found in sought-after private institutions, as a last resort, consider transferring to another class.

Eliminate ridicule not only with a drafted dialogue plan for all incidents. If a student is laughed at because he doesn’t dress well, get new clothes or let you choose what fashion dictates (for the social world of youth, this is very important). Does he study badly? Pay attention to knowledge, take care of the child yourself, find explanations on the Internet or hire a tutor. Teased about glasses? Match with a trendy frame or shape. Ask your child what would change the attitude of classmates, such as playing sports. Look for a way out together, become a reliable friend, this is the best way assist in resolving any conflicts.

How to be and what to do if a child is bullied at school by classmates, spy and declare a boycott? Do not panic, in childhood many children are angry and it is necessary to conduct explanatory conversations with them. Sovetbati will help solve the problem.

In general, rottenness tempers character, usually rotten those who do not fit into the main herd of sheep or those who are "on their own mind."

What kind of children become objects of harassment by classmates?

Children with unusual appearance overweight, crooked teeth, too short or too tall;
Upstarts, too quiet children, those who do not give back - such children are most often tried to humiliate or beat;
Class leaders who have transferred from another school, who are trying to impose their own rules and displace the existing leader. In such cases, very often the incumbent leader sets his classmates against the new one;
Psychologically unbalanced guys, actively going to conflict, reacting to any undermining from others;
Physically handicapped or seriously ill children who cannot fend for themselves;
Untidy, dirty, not looking after themselves children

Often, kids are teased and given nicknames because of a funny, in the opinion of others, surname.

How do you know if your child is being bullied at school?

He is constantly looking for a reason not to go to school, pretends to be sick, lies that the lessons have been canceled;
Skipping school using our 100% ways ;
After school, he is angry, aggressive, upset, or sad, and threatens to bathe the freaks in the school toilet;
Runs away among the lessons, coming up with different excuses
A sharp drop in academic performance and productivity;
The child returns home covered in mud or with bruises; notebooks, pencils, brushes often disappear from him. It happens that the backpack is torn. At the same time, the child comes up with amazing excuses that he is hooked;
The child complains that the teacher rotted him.

Where do I go if children bully my child at school? We offer the following solution:

Talk to the child and the teacher, find out why your child is so hated by classmates. Perhaps the class leader has found a weak link and is turning everyone against your child.
To correct the situation, you can talk to parents at a school meeting so that they in turn influence their children and teach them how to behave in society;
The child needs to respond, to say that he Chechen (25% of offenders will hide, flashing their heels), do not let themselves be bullied, ignore those who ignore him, do not bring sweets for his birthday, do not help anyone in class (friends do not count), and so on;
Beat for name-calling;
If your child is being beaten, it's time to teach him how to fight and fight back, giving him boxing or hand-to-hand combat. Putting a black eye on the leader, he will neutralize everyone else, they will simply scatter to the sides.
As a last resort, transfer to another better school, for example, to a lyceum or gymnasium, but it is quite possible that the newcomer will be taken with hostility and will also begin to offend.

What to do if your child is beaten by a mob

If your child has been brushed off by a crowd of classmates, let your child catch the offenders one at a time or invite friends of high school students to talk and scare them morally. An older brother can also help in matters of self-defense.