Dear mothers! 2 days ago I found an interesting article on the site, in my opinion an excerpt from a book, on how to teach a child to sleep on his own in 1 week. In general, here is this article. I wish everyone PATIENCE!!!
CHAPTER 1
The child does not sleep, and therefore we do not sleep either. What happens to those who don't get enough sleep? A child is not a machine, and when discharged from the maternity hospital, you are not given instructions for it, as, for example, when buying a washing machine. Then everyone starts giving parents advice (relatives, friends, neighbors, etc.) Especially if they hear the baby crying. Many people say: “We need to wait out the first months, then he will sleep like all children, where will he go?” Many come up with reasons: first he doesn’t sleep because he’s too small, then because of his tummy, then because of his teeth, etc. Some give advice: “Leave it alone, he’ll eventually calm down and fall asleep.” Parents come up with all sorts of individual methods: carrying them in the car, leaving them to sleep in front of the TV, etc.
We must finally admit: sleep is a serious thing, and it must be treated from a professional point of view, since not all children learn to sleep on their own without outside help.
Consequences of sleep problems in childhood for a young child
- cries often
- often in a bad mood
- feels not loved enough
- overly dependent on parents/grandparents
- growth delays are also possible
For schoolchildren
- reduced academic performance compared to abilities
- uncertainty as a character trait
- timidity
- character problems
For the parents of such a child
- self-doubt (are we doing the right thing?)
- feeling of guilt (poor thing, maybe she can’t sleep because she’s suffering from something, but we can’t help and then we’re still angry)
- mutual accusations of parents that the other spoils the child
- feeling of confusion in front of a problem
- feeling that nothing can be done
- deep physical and mental fatigue
That is, the consequences of poor sleep are manifested in the behavior and character of the child.
The child does not sleep well - does not rest well - feels restless, small children do not calm down from excessive fatigue, but, on the contrary, become agitated. A tired child who wants to sleep almost never asks to go to bed on his own, but on the contrary, may demonstrate increased activity and excitability - he often cries for no reason, easily gets into a bad mood and wants more attention from his parents - begins to depend too much on who takes care of him. In the future, this may lead to the development of an insecure and timid character, problems in communicating with others, decreased academic performance, etc.
The impact of poor sleep on health has not yet been fully studied, but it is clear that sometimes poor sleep can lead to growth retardation, since growth hormones are produced during sleep (during the first hours of sleep)

The critical age is 5 years. If a child has not learned to sleep well before the age of 5, he has a high chance of having insomnia as an adult; 5 years is the limit. At this age, the child already understands well what the parents want. Many children at this age go to bed, do not cry, do not call their parents, but the problem is not resolved, since they continue to fall asleep with difficulty and wake up often, only now they keep it to themselves. In the worst cases, the child begins to have nightmares and other nighttime problems, crying that he does not want to go to bed. From adolescence, insomnia remains for life.
Sometimes parents don’t even understand the seriousness of this problem; they think everything will go away with age. In fact, 35% of children suffer from sleep problems before the age of 5. But these data are understated, since many parents believe that it is normal if a child from 6 months to 2-3 years (and sometimes beyond) does not want to go to sleep, wakes up 3-5 times at night, explaining this by hunger, desire to drink, write, etc. That's why surveys often don't give the right results. 35% - statistics from our center for the treatment of sleep problems.
From 6-7 months, a child is able to sleep alone in his room, in absolute darkness, for 10-12 hours without waking up and without requiring the presence of adults.
If your baby is not sleeping as described above, it is natural that you ask yourself: what is going on, what is wrong? Why then doesn't our child sleep?
Forget the excuses you used before: gas (goes away by 4-5 months), teeth, hunger, thirst, too much energy, went to kindergarten, etc. There is only one reason for 98%: Your child has not yet learned to sleep! Like this? -you ask. - What does it mean?
You will discover this in subsequent chapters. If you literally follow all our instructions, then in less than one week your child will turn into a sleepyhead.
Before you start reading other chapters, you should convince yourself of the following things:
- your child is not sick (if he sleeps poorly, this is not a disease and it cannot be treated with medications: valerian, motherwort decoctions, etc.)
- your child does not have any psychological problems (excuses like: he wakes up because he feels separation from his parents, etc.)
-your child is not spoiled (even if everyone tries to convince you otherwise). If he sleeps poorly, this is in no way a consequence of being spoiled, even if this is expressed in the fact that he constantly demands the attention of his parents, wants to be lulled to sleep, rocked, carried in arms, read to him, etc.
-if your child doesn't sleep well, it's not your fault.
Our book will help you teach your child to sleep.
A baby's 3-4 hour cycle consists of the following elements; food-sleep-hygiene (change diapers, etc.) The order may change (hygene-sleep-food). Sometimes we meet newborn anarchists. They don’t even follow this simple pattern, that is, they fall asleep and wake up without any logic.
Around 3-4 months (sometimes even a little earlier), babies usually begin to adjust to a 24 (25) hour cycle, the so-called solar cycle. So he starts sleeping more at night. At first, the baby is able to sleep only 3-4 hours at night without waking up, then 5-6, then 7-8 and finally 10-12 hours. ATTENTION: there are no clear rules for the relationship between sleep duration and age; it all depends on the individual characteristics of your baby. This adaptation to the adult cycle is associated with the development of a certain area of ​​the brain, conventionally called the “internal clock.”
To properly set this internal biological clock, certain external stimuli are necessary (light-darkness, noise-silence, eating schedule, certain habitual actions, etc.) Therefore, it is better for a newborn to sleep in light light and little noise during the day, and in silence at night and complete darkness. This is how the child begins to get used to the difference between night and day.
Thus, the child must be surrounded by certain external stimuli for correct orientation. Briefly it comes down to two aspects:
Parental behavior
-feeling of confidence
-calmness
- patience and desire to teach the child to sleep
- repeatability in evening procedures
External elements
-crib
-pacifier
-toy (bear, dog, doll, etc., with which you can sleep)
Parental behavior
The child is very sensitive to the internal psychological state of the parents. He understands perfectly if mom is nervous or worried about something. Therefore, when you put your baby in the crib, try to be as calm as possible for this half hour and demonstrate with all your behavior that it cannot be otherwise, that it is natural and wonderful to go to sleep. You can't change the way you put him in his crib. Everything should always be almost the same (within reasonable limits). That is, at a certain hour everything should be repeated: you bathe him, then feed him, then change his diaper for the night, put him in his crib, turn off the light, wish him good night and go out. The order of your actions may be different, the main thing is that it should be repeated every evening.
Repeatability gives the child confidence. He knows what will happen in 5-10 minutes, then in half an hour, and he feels safe. The baby is not wary, does not expect unexpected surprises, and therefore calms down. If on different days the child is put to bed by different people (mother, grandmother, etc.), adults should agree among themselves not to change the order of procedures and try to do everything as equally as possible.
External elements
The child must associate certain things with sleep. If you put a baby to sleep by rocking him in your arms, he understands that rocking is sleep. Accordingly, as soon as you stop rocking him, he wakes up and needs to be rocked to fall asleep again. If the baby falls asleep at the breast, he gets used to the fact that food is a dream. And he will only fall asleep next to his boob or with a bottle in his mouth. Accordingly, as soon as he feels that there is nothing in his mouth, he will wake up. At night, everyone, adults and children, wakes up for a few seconds. Usually, a person then falls asleep and doesn’t even remember about it in the morning. In older people, these awakenings can last longer than 30 seconds and reach 3-4 minutes. In a normal situation, a person remembers that he woke up only under exceptional circumstances. A normal child wakes up at night (for a few seconds) 5-8 times, and a child with problematic sleep more. If a child, when he opens his eyes for a moment, finds everything the same as it was when he fell asleep, he automatically falls asleep and sleeps on. If he is used to sleeping in a stroller around the house, then he will expect to be in a stroller and ride around the house. If he fell asleep at his mother's breast, he will look for the breast. If he fell asleep in his dad's arms, he will look for his dad, etc. If, upon opening his eyes at night, the baby does not find exactly the same situation in which he fell asleep, he gets scared and cries to call his parents. In the worst case, he will not be able to fall asleep without repeating his favorite situation.
An example for you: you fell asleep in your bed. At night, you open your eyes for a second and see that you are on the sofa in the living room. You will jump on the couch: what happened??!!! Why am I here??? The same thing happens with a child. As you understand, the child needs external elements, and here - attention - the mistake of most parents is that they choose elements that require their presence. The child cannot prepare a bottle for himself, cannot walk around the house in a stroller, etc. Therefore, these are incorrectly selected elements.
Therefore, we need to choose elements that can stay with the child all night and that do not require our intervention. This could be a teddy bear, a pacifier, his pillow, a blanket. The child should always fall asleep only in his own bed, etc.
Let's talk about this in more detail later.
What you should never do when trying to put a baby to sleep (over 6 months)
-sing
-rocking in the crib
- swing on your hands
-rock in a stroller
-carry by car
-touch him, give him a hand, let him touch us
- caress, stroke the head
-putting parents in bed
-allowing him to jump around the bed/room until exhausted in the hope that he will then fall asleep faster
-give food and drink
Bottom line: Never actively help your child fall asleep. He must learn to fall asleep on his own.

A newborn sleeps differently than a 4-month-old child, and he does not sleep like a 2-year-old child. Sleeping habits develop over time with age. In this chapter we will explain to you what to expect from your baby at certain ages. If you pay proper attention to sleep and falling asleep from birth, you will not have problems in the future.
How to teach a newborn. The main thing you need to know is that a newborn sleeps as much as he needs - no less, no more. He can fall asleep anywhere and in any noise. As mentioned above, its cycle is usually 3-4 hours. Ate, slept, pooped, changed clothes, etc. If your newborn doesn't follow any pattern, don't worry—that's completely normal. At this stage, food and sleep are closely connected, so the baby wakes up because he wants to eat and falls asleep because he is full. However, you need to be careful here: if a baby cries, this does not necessarily mean that he wants to eat (many mothers immediately breastfeed, as this is the easiest way to calm the baby, but this is wrong). First (if the child has recently eaten, the interval should be 3-4 hours) try to find other reasons: is he hot? Cold? is he wet? wants to be held? Tired of noisy society? does your tummy hurt? Only after that give him the breast. If you give him the breast every time he cries, your baby will learn to associate the breast with sleep and calming. He will get used to the fact that in order to calm down, he needs to eat. Already in a few weeks, babies are able to eat more than they need. If you give him your milk, there is no problem from a medical point of view, but it still leads to bad habits, since the feeling of sleep and hunger are controlled by the same part of the brain. In addition, such children grow into adults who, when nervous, begin to eat everything in order to calm down. If you feed him formula milk, feeding him too often can lead to obesity in early childhood or adulthood.
It is not yet time for rigid introduction of schedules. However, we advise showing your child the difference between sleep and wakefulness. If he is not sleeping, take him in your arms, play with him, talk to him. If he's not sleeping, try not to keep him in his crib. This will help him understand that the crib is a place to sleep (see the previous chapter about external elements).
During the day, put him to sleep in light light, and at night, do not leave the night light on. This way the child will learn to understand the difference between night and day.
During the day, do not walk on tiptoe, even if the baby has fallen asleep; at night, try not to make noise behind the wall or in the same room. During the day you can vacuum, play the piano, etc. In the evening, when the child is already in the crib, turn down the volume on the TV, etc.
Give it a bath before going to bed. Some parents prefer to bathe their baby in the morning, but if you prefer to do it in the evening, your baby will have another external element associated with sleep. He will quickly get used to going to bed after a bath.
Provide him with maximum sleeping comfort. If he has just eaten, hold him upright to help him release the air from his stomach. Change him, check that the crib is not too cold, that the room is about 20 degrees.
From birth, the baby should get used to sleeping on his own. Try not to rock him in your arms. Try not to overly associate food with sleep. However, if at this age it still doesn’t work out, don’t be upset. Your baby is still too small. Use common sense. In any case, it is useless to leave the baby crying for hours.
Many babies start sleeping 5-7 hours a night or earlier, but by 3-4 months all babies should be doing this. At this age, the biological rhythm changes. If initially you did not follow any rules (rocked the baby, gave him the breast to put him to sleep), now the time has come to gradually change these habits.
Remember:
-you should be calm when laying your baby down
-help him associate some external elements with the hour of going to bed; he must perform the same actions every evening before going to bed. Remember that for a child repetition means a sense of security.
This is the age when it is already necessary to decide at what time the baby should go to bed. From a biological point of view, children sleep best in the summer from 20.30 to 21.00, and in the winter from 20.00 to 20.30. Choose daily procedures that you will then repeat every evening: bathing, changing diapers, 10 minutes of quiet games with dad, etc. .d. Pay attention to how your baby reacts to bath time - if he doesn't like water or gets too excited, only do short baths before bed, or move them to the morning. It is better not to let your baby eat near the crib to separate food and sleep. Spend a few minutes with your baby in another room (where he is not sleeping), talk to him, play quiet games, etc. Then put him in the crib with his things - you can choose what you want; teddy bear, doll, pacifier (preferably several, then at night it will not be difficult to find, for example, tie 4 pacifiers to the edges of a large handkerchief) The main thing is that what you give him can stay with him all night and does not require your repeated intervention. Kiss the baby and wish him good night. Then leave the room while the baby is still awake.
If you do everything right, your baby will enjoy bedtime, will recognize it and will go to bed without any problems. However, if your baby, despite your efforts, does not lend itself to “education”, do not worry: before 6-7 months it is too early to talk about childhood insomnia. Your baby just needs more time to transition to the adult cycle.
If he wakes up frequently at night, check:
- Aren't you sick?
- is he too wrapped up or is he cold?
- peed or pooped?
- doesn’t he eat enough before going to bed? (if he is hungry, he should not eat at night, but his last meal should be larger)
- did the baby have gas (colic)? If so, he is used to waking up with a stomach ache.
Help him. You can rock him, caress him and put him back in the crib. However, remember that your goal is to teach him to fall asleep on his own.
Attention: in the first weeks of life, a child never cries without a reason. Therefore, we must immediately try to understand what is wrong and help him. However, you will soon notice that your baby has different types of crying: he is protesting, he is hungry, he is wet, he is angry, he is bored, etc. Once you learn to distinguish crying for serious reasons from simple whimpering, do not run to your baby every time because of nonsense. Wait a few minutes - maybe he will be able to fall asleep again.
From 6 months, any child should sleep less during the day (usually twice: after breakfast 1-2 hours and after lunch 2-3 hours) and more at night. At 7 months, the child should already have an established eating-sleeping schedule (eating 4-5 times a day, sleeping 10-12 hours at night without waking up).
If your baby is 6-7 months old, and he is not yet accustomed to this regime, start “education”.
For a baby 6-7 months is normal
- established a regular eating-sleeping schedule
- eats 4-5 times a day
- sleeps 10-12 hours at night
- goes to bed willingly and without problems
If your baby fits this description, don't get too comfortable, as small details can easily ruin a young child's good sleep habits. Try to maintain regularity in eating and sleeping and repeating actions before going to bed.
From the age of 7-9 months, the baby will no longer fall asleep if he is too tired. At this age, children know how to stay awake, even if they are very tired. Sometimes because they want to stay longer with their parents, sometimes because they are too tired or excited, etc. Don't let yourself be persuaded. Put your child to bed at the same time, repeating the same actions. Try not to stretch out your efforts to put your baby to bed for an hour (a baby’s dream). Children who already know how to speak quickly learn to bribe their parents: one more kiss, read one more fairy tale, just one, etc., I’m thirsty, I want to write... If the child really insists on one more fairy tale, read him a well-known fairy tale in a motonic voice . Don’t read anything interesting or exciting to him at night! It prevents him from falling asleep!
After a year, the baby gradually switches from two naps to one. This is a difficult time, since there is a period when one sleep is not enough, and two is too much, but the problem disappears in 1-2 months. After lunch, the child should sleep until he is 4 years old, and preferably until he is 5-6. Many parents and educators allow their child not to sleep as early as 3 years old. This is too early. A three-year-old child is capable of not sleeping during the day, but in this case he is too tired in the evening, his sleep is too deep, which in turn can lead to various problems (nightmares, etc.).
When we understand that the child has learned to sleep. A child can sleep well even at 10 months, without any visible problems. However, at least until the age of 5, you need to be careful, since some event (moving, the appearance of a brother, etc.) can destroy good habits. As soon as you notice problems appearing, apply the method described in Chapter 4. So our advice is: even if your child is already a good sleeper, be careful to follow the evening routine and schedule.
One last note: be realistic!!!
Many parents do not know how to be realistic and want the impossible from their children. If your child slept less than normal for his age in the first month of life, then at three years after applying our method, he will sleep less. If he has learned to sleep, he will go to bed without problems, will not wake up at night, and will sleep 10 hours. But he will not become a sleepyhead if he is not a sleepyhead by nature!
Many parents are happy when their children sleep a lot during the day (finally they can mind their own business!). The child cannot sleep 4-5 hours after lunch and 12 hours at night! Even if you are very pleased that the child is sleeping, wake him up after 2-3 hours of sleep. A child should never sleep during the day without waking up for more than 3 hours!
Other parents put their baby to bed at 8 pm and want him to wake up at 10 am. A child is not a clockwork robot! He has his own biological rhythms, they must be respected, not destroyed!
The ideal pajamas are those in which the child does not feel hot and in which he can sleep without a blanket. Little children always open up at night
CHAPTER 4

Let's start from the beginning, or how to fix your child's sleep habit. What is normal for a baby and what is not? When can we talk about childhood insomnia?
Many parents consider it normal to get up 2-3, or even 4-5 times at night to see their one-and-a-half-year-old child to give him a bottle. But this is NOT the NORM, just like the case when an 8-month-old baby does not sleep until midnight without any signs of fatigue, or when a one-year-old baby begins to scream loudly as soon as his mother, having put him in the crib, wants to leave the room.
From 6-7 months of age, all children should be able to:
- go to bed without crying and with joy
- fall asleep alone in the room without assistance
- sleep 10-12 hours without a break
- sleep in your own crib (and not in your parents’ bed), in the dark without a night light on
This description applies to all healthy children if they do not have colic (which usually goes away by 4-5 months), milk intolerance, acute respiratory infections, bronchitis, etc. If your baby is already 6 months old and not sick, but has not yet learned to sleep through the night, he may have problems with childhood insomnia in the future.
Children's insomnia is explained by:
- in 98% of cases due to incorrect sleep habits
- in 2% psychological problems (see end of chapter)
Childhood insomnia caused by improper habits has the following characteristics:
- the child cannot fall asleep on his own without assistance
- wakes up at night (from 3 to 15 times) and cannot fall back to sleep on his own and requires parental help (sickness, bottle, etc.)
- light sleep - the slightest noise can wake him up
- sleeps fewer hours than indicated in the table for his age
In such cases, parents resort to auxiliary methods: rocking the baby, patting the head, giving him something to eat, drink, etc. The baby eventually falls asleep, but the problem is that when he wakes up again, he has to start all over again.
If you decide to change this situation, you must follow the following rule: you must strictly follow our instructions, follow them literally, the slightest deviation or change can lead to failure!
What does it take to develop good sleep habits? Let's repeat the general rules:
- parents should be calm and confident in what they are doing, and also always follow the same pattern of behavior when putting the baby to bed, create a ritual.
- the child should associate sleep with external elements that can stay with him all night: a crib, a teddy bear, a pacifier, a favorite blanket, etc.
So, let's forget the past and imagine that our baby was born today.
Let's start by selecting the external elements. We remember that they should stay with the baby all night (that is, they should not be dangerous, too small for him to swallow, hard so that he does not hit himself in his sleep, etc.) and that they should not require our presence (for example , a bottle of tea is not suitable, since someone has to fill it at night). With a child 2-5 years old, you can prepare a drawing to hang above the crib. After dinner, dad (mom) says to the baby: “Let’s go to the room, let’s draw a beautiful picture.” The kid can draw a sun or a cloud over the house himself, and dad can add a bird or tree, etc. Mom can prepare a carousel to hang over the crib (just cut out a doll or an airplane from paper, make a ball out of shiny paper and hang it over the crib using a rope or elastic band). You don't have to create masterpieces, you can just buy something suitable. The main thing is that the child has something fundamentally new, something that was not there before and that he likes.
If you used to put him to bed differently every night, now you need to create a ritual. Decide for yourself what is more convenient for you: swimming, dinner, playing for half an hour and going to bed. What you decide now, you will have to do the same every evening.
Let us give you some advice. In accordance with natural biological rhythms, it is best to let your child eat on the following schedule: breakfast around 8 o'clock, lunch around 12, afternoon snack around 16 and dinner around 20. Try not to deviate too much from this schedule, as these are the biological rhythms of children. In any case, if for some reason you cannot adhere to this entire schedule, remember: the child falls asleep easiest in the winter at 20.00-20.30, and in the summer at 20.30-21.00. This is due to the peculiarities of the brain functioning of children.
First day of re-education. So, you have everything ready, your schedule and evening ritual have been chosen. After dinner, dad (mother, grandmother) play calm games with the baby for 10-15 minutes, then together they hang a picture over the crib. They explain that this is a poster and that he will sleep with the baby all night. If your baby still sleeps with a pacifier, buy him several and place them around the crib so that your baby can easily find at least one in the dark. If you don’t think about this moment, the baby will wake you up at night so that you help him find the pacifier and then - goodbye, re-education!
Second step: mom or dad choose a toy from those the baby already has and give him a name. After this they say to the baby: This is your friend Mishka (Petya, etc.). He will sleep with you all night. Don’t let your baby choose: remember, we know how to sleep and teach him, not he us, now you decide. Even if your child is 4 years old, in this situation we must treat him like a newborn who does not yet know or know how to do anything.
If you must deprive your baby of something that he used to have (a bottle, etc.), explain to him that his new night friends replace the old ones and that they will stay with him all night and in the morning when he wakes up there will be more with him.
Remember
- your baby’s requests and demands at bedtime can affect proper sleep habits
- a child should not tell his parents how he should sleep and what he needs for this; in this situation, parents are teachers, and children learn to sleep, and not the other way around. The calm, confident tone of parents should show this to their children.
So, the time has come to put your baby in the crib. Act as if you do this every day. Calmly change the baby's clothes, put him in the crib and cover him. Don’t expect the baby to close its eyes, turn on its side and snore. Firstly, the baby has not yet been “re-educated”, and secondly, he has already realized that you have prepared some kind of surprise for him. Most likely, he will immediately jump to his feet and start screaming wildly as soon as he realizes that mom wants to leave the room. Don't try to put him down again right away. Sit next to the crib or take him on your lap and tell him: “Kitty, mommy and daddy want to teach you how to sleep. Look, you are not alone: ​​your teddy bear, drawing, etc. are with you. They will all sleep with you all night.” This speech will take between 0.5 and 2 minutes. Depends on what you include in the list (curtains, bike next to the crib, etc.). The main thing is not to get annoyed and speak calmly. It doesn't matter at all whether the child understands well what you say to him. Most likely, during your entire speech, the child will scream like crazy in the hope that he will be able to return to the old days. Ignore the crying, keep talking. These are the moments that require willpower and courage from you. Your baby will be ready to do anything so as not to lose his “privileges.” Let's give just a short list of what children were capable of in our practice in order to pity their parents and return “their happy past”: children cried, made sad faces, asked to drink, write and eat, threw tantrums with hiccups, made themselves vomit, pooped etc.
Despite all this performance that your baby will give you, you must remain calm and remember: you are teaching him to sleep, not he is teaching you. You are doing this for his future, for his health and for your nervous system.
After your short speech above, put your baby back in bed.
Attention: after this point it should not be touched until the next morning. If he gets up again, ignore him. Say, “Good night, fish (pussy, etc.),” turn off the lights, and leave the room. Leave the door almost completely closed (a small crack so you can hear what is happening).
Attention: it makes no difference whether the baby is 6 months or 5 years old. The only difference is how he can fight you. A six-month-old baby can only cry, but a 4-5-year-old can talk, scream, beg, get out of the crib, etc. In this case, we recommend organizing some kind of barrier to exit the room.
Do not lock the door with a key, etc. This could terrorize your child! Don't be afraid if he falls asleep on the floor, etc. Firstly, children rarely do this, because they love convenience, and secondly, even in this case, the goal is achieved - the baby fell asleep on his own. Then you just need to put him in the crib.
Up to this point we have considered the point of view of adults. But how does the baby feel in such a situation?
Children communicate with adults according to a certain pattern: action-reaction. Children do certain things because they expect certain reactions. Consider the situation: a six-month-old baby. They put him in his crib, he begins to sing “a-a-a-a” and clap his hands. What will mom and dad say? “What a bunny!” And they will mind their own business. But the same baby begins to scream like crazy, turns brown-red or purple, and hiccups. What do parents do? They run: “Bunny, are you feeling bad? What happened to you? Does your tummy hurt? Teeth cutting? Kitty, now mom (dad) will rock you (carry you in her arms, etc.).” What does a baby like more: lying alone in a crib or being the center of attention of all relatives? What will the baby do next time he wants his parents' attention? What will a 4-5 year old child do? He has enough imagination to make his parents retreat first!
Let's return to the process of putting to bed. What will our 4-year-old do as soon as we give him his teddy bear? Maybe he'll throw him on the floor. If you pick it up and give it to him again, what will he do? He throws the bear on the floor again. If we continue like this, who will win? Baby!!! Because he took a certain action and achieved the desired reaction. You fell for his bait! If your baby threw a teddy bear, a pacifier, a blanket, a pillow on the floor, and you continue to talk calmly, then collect everything, put it in his bed, turn around and leave the room despite his wild screams, who will win?
Another example: you put your baby in the crib, and he immediately rises to his feet. You put it down again, it comes up again. You don't want to put him to bed all night, but he wants to continue this game as long as possible, because this way he has your full attention. So put him in the crib and leave the baby alone. If he wants to climb, let him climb as much as he wants.
What else can your baby do to get your attention? “I’m thirsty”, “ah-ah-ah”, “bo-bo”, etc. The child may even make himself vomit. Don't be alarmed, nothing happens to him. Wash him, change the sheets and put him back in the crib. You may be nervous (but don’t show it outwardly). Remain outwardly calm and determined: your child must learn to sleep. The baby may also scream and cry like crazy (then tell the neighbors that his ears hurt, poor thing). In such a situation, the baby may cry so loudly that the windows of the neighbors across the street may rattle. But you must have courage and hold on: your “war” has just begun, and fortunately it will only last a few days. However, we cannot leave the baby to cry for long. Why? Because “re-educate” does not mean punish. Parents are usually advised to let their baby cry until he falls asleep from fatigue. Never do this!
When you leave the room for the first time, look at the clock: until the baby falls asleep, you will have to return to his room from time to time. REMEMBER: you are not coming back to calm him down, and not to make him stop crying, and not to put him to sleep. But only to show him that you have not left him. How often should you return to your baby? Consider the sign below, it all depends on the day of re-education and what time you return. The table shows intervals in minutes.
How many minutes should you wait before returning to the room where the baby is crying?
1 day -1 min (1 time) 3 min (2 times) 5 min all subsequent times
Day 2 - 3 min (1 time) 5 min (2 times) 7 min all subsequent times
Day 3 - 5 min (1 time) 7 min (2 times) 9 min all subsequent times
Day 4 - 7 min (1 time) 9 min (2 times) 11 min all subsequent times
Day 5 - 9 min (1 time) 11 min (2 times) 13 min all subsequent times
Day 6 - 11 min (1 time) 13 min (2 times) 15 min all subsequent times
Day 7 - 13 min (1 time) 15 min (2 times) 17 min all subsequent times
Note: This chart should be used both in the evening and at night if your baby wakes up during the night.
What should a parent who has returned to his child do? I must tell him again in a calm voice: “Golden, you need to sleep. Mom and dad will now teach you to sleep. You will sleep with your teddy bear and pacifier, etc. Good night". If the baby has crawled out of the crib by this time, you need to put him back there. If the baby is unable to get out, we need to stop far enough from him so that he cannot cling to us. After this little speech, you need to calmly leave the room. When you return to your baby, there is no need to turn on the light. If the baby cries, do not react, continue your speech, and then leave.
Never wait longer than indicated in the table; The worst thing for a child is to think that his parents don’t love him and that they abandoned him. At the same time, try to gather all your strength and, although your heart will shed tears, try to gain strength for a few days and follow all the instructions: the results will exceed all your expectations!
Your returns will help your baby understand that he will not achieve anything by crying and screaming, and then that going to bed is not so scary. How long can your baby scream? Depends on the specific case. The most persistent ones, however, usually do not scream for more than 2 hours. Many people give up after an hour. If the baby wakes up at night, you need to do everything as in the evening. The child does not understand schedules, does not understand the difference between night and evening, so he has to go in and out again and say the same words
Psychological problems – 2% when the method does not work. The reasons may be temporary, such as: divorce, parents are especially nervous due to some serious problems, they moved the bed from the parents’ room to a separate one, a brother was born, went to kindergarten, saw a scary movie on TV, etc. You need to determine what the reason is and try to eliminate or weaken it. Because of a movie, first day of kindergarten, etc. the child may not sleep well for 2-3 days. Problems that last a long time should be treated by a psychotherapist or neurologist. For more details, see chapter 7.

How long should a baby sleep? Children are all different. Among them there are sleepyheads, and there are also those who sleep significantly less than normal. Here are the average data - how many hours a day should your child sleep: 1 week... 16-17 hours, 3 months....15 hours, 6 months... 14 hours, 12 months....13 hours 45 minutes, 18 months... 13 hours 30 minutes, 2 years... 13 hours, 3 years... 12 hours, 4 years... 11 hours 30 minutes, 5 years... 11 hours.
Your baby may sleep up to two hours more or two hours less. If your baby does not meet these standards, pay attention to the following points.
The baby sleeps less than normal and:
- easily irritated
- capricious
- sometimes looks sleepy
- has difficulty concentrating and often seems inattentive
- he has moments when he stares blankly at one point
If your baby sleeps less than normal and exhibits any of the behaviors described above, it means he should sleep more. If he sleeps less than normal, but does not show any of the above signs, then everything is fine and your child simply needs less sleep.
The baby sleeps more than normal and:
- gains height and weight according to norms
- attentive
- active when not sleeping
If you answered “yes” to all three questions, don’t worry, fate has given you a baby sleepyhead.” If you answered “no” to at least one question, talk to your pediatrician about it and check your child’s health.
How to change your baby's daily routine? There are babies who sleep a lot during the day, but little at night. Or those who willingly go to bed at 7 pm, but are already awake at 5 am. In such cases, you can gradually change their regime according to your wishes.
If your baby sleeps a lot during the day and little at night, don't let him sleep a lot during the day, even if it's convenient for you. Find in the table how much he should sleep according to his age, estimate how many hours you want him to sleep during the day and how much at night. Make a schedule. In any case, it is better not to let your baby sleep more than 2-3 hours during the day (if he only sleeps once during the day). Ideally – 10-12 hours at night, the rest during the day. For example:
18 months - daily sleep 13.30 (11 at night and 2.30 during the day or 12 at night and 1.30 during the day)
If your baby falls asleep at 7pm and wakes up too early, you can move up his schedule by sending him to bed half an hour later in the week. That is, the first week he will go to bed at 7.30, the second at 8.00 and the third at 8.30. In any case, it is better to put him in bed no later than 8.30 - 9.00. We repeat, even if it is convenient for you, the habit of going to bed late for young children can develop into serious problems in the future. For an ideal schedule, see previous chapters. If half an hour is too much for the baby, shift sleep by 15 minutes a week (7.00 - 7.15-7.30, etc.) Everything else (evening procedures before bed) should remain as before.
CHAPTER 6

Night restlessness may or may not wake the child. This is a state of half-sleep: sleepwalking, nightmares, phobias, bruxism, nocturnal delirium, rocking movements. In childhood, these problems are usually not pronounced; the critical age is from 3 to 6 years.
Somnambulism (sleepwalking). A classic example: a five-year-old child gets out of bed, turns on the light, goes to the bathroom instead of the toilet and pees in the tub or in his shoe, returns to bed, turns off the light and falls asleep. The next day he doesn’t remember anything. Usually occurs in the first half of sleep. The causes are unknown and there is no cure. It is usually inherited and goes away by adolescence. At night, the child automatically repeats the actions he does during the day. He does not have clarity of consciousness and therefore “makes mistakes.” But this is a harmless deviation.
You just need to take precautions. A sleepwalker never throws himself out of a window, but can get out of it by mistaking it for a door. Don't wake the child. If he wanders around the apartment, try to put him back to bed without disturbing him. Talk to him in simple phrases like: “Come here, go to bed.” Remember: even if his eyes are open, he is deeply asleep.
Nightmares. They happen in the second half of sleep (if the baby goes to bed at 8 pm, then after 2 am). These are terrible dreams. The child wakes up screaming, all scared, but can explain what scared him: “A dog bit me, Vasya beat me,” etc. Parents can reassure him: “Sleep, you see, there is no dog here.” Usually these phenomena are associated with events in the baby’s life that bother him. It usually goes away in a few days. If the problem remains in life, nightmares remain. For example, if you force your baby to eat and for him every meal becomes torture. If your child has nightmares, you don’t need to go to the doctor, you should try to calm him down when he wakes up, and then understand what causes them and try to eliminate the cause. Don't take your baby into your bed.
Night phobias (fears). During the first half of sleep. The baby suddenly starts screaming, it seems that something is tormenting him greatly. The parent finds the baby pale, sweaty, and not recognizing his parents. If parents do not know anything about these problems, they may think that the baby is dying. It usually lasts from 3 to 10 minutes. The baby does not understand what is happening, as he is deeply asleep. You need to stay with him, waiting for the attack to pass. The next day he doesn’t remember anything. If the baby recognizes you and immediately calms down, then this is either a bad dream or a trick to attract your attention.
Bruxism (teeth grinding). Check with your dentist to see if this is dangerous for your teeth. Although this makes an impression on parents, it is not a problem; it will go away on its own over time.

Night delirium. In the early morning, the baby may laugh, talk, cry and scream in his sleep. It’s not scary, the only problem is that such screams can wake up the baby himself.
Rocking movements. Example: hits his head on the pillow, lies with his stomach down and rocks. Usually from 9 months to 2 years. Usually no big deal. If it continues to sway during the day, check with a psychotherapist.
Snore. Between 7% and 10% of children snore. If this makes it difficult for your baby to breathe during sleep and he sleeps breathing through his mouth, consult a specialist.

CHAPTER 7
Questions and answers,
or how to solve the most common problems.

When is the best time to start re-educating a child? Now and only now. Of course, only under certain conditions:
-both parents agree to see the matter through to completion
-both parents read the book carefully and understood each action well
-both parents have a good idea of ​​how to react at any moment.
If one of the parents does not feel ready, it is better not to start, as confidence and calmness are needed for success. Let us repeat: children perfectly sense the mood of adults nearby. There is no need to start training at the time of moving; for at least the first 10 days, the baby should always sleep in the same place. Other reasons to postpone an event: Guests who live in your home. Because there is nothing worse than comments from visiting relatives and friends: “Poor thing, it’s so painful. Are you absolutely confident in what you are doing?” or: “Nowadays young people want everything easy. No patience at all. In our time, parents knew how to endure and not sleep if necessary for the child. He’s so small!” As an obstacle, there are also neighbors, who can go from caustic remarks and sympathetic sighs to threats: “We will call the police because you are abusing the child!”
For neighbors, we recommend doing this: choose the ones who are most actively interfering in your affairs and call them in advance. Say: “Our poor little guy caught otitis media, we want to apologize in advance for his nightly crying. The pediatrician said he would be in a lot of pain for a few days and wouldn’t be able to sleep.”
Who should do sleep training? Mother? Dad? Grandmother? Nanny?
It doesn't matter who. It is important that those who put the child to sleep (day or night) are well acquainted with the instructions. Adults can change (grandmother during the day, mother in the evening). It is important that everyone acts the same. In the evening you can take turns: mom comes in one time, dad comes in the other time.
Can a child sleep with grandparents?
Parents are created to raise children, grandparents are created to spoil their grandchildren. This means that before leaving the baby with the grandmother, at least 10 days must pass from the start of re-education. Don't try to convince your grandmother to act the same way as you: it's usually useless. This makes sense given that their role is different. The grandmother only needs to explain the basic rules: what time does the baby go to bed, that there is no need to put him to sleep, and that one must not forget all his things (bear, pacifier, etc.). Grandmothers usually do what they think is right in any case. Don't fight with them about this. Kids are much smarter than they think: they immediately understand that grandma’s rules are different than at home. When your child sleeps at your home, behave as you always do.
However, if the baby sleeps with grandma every day, she will have to familiarize herself with these rules and follow them, otherwise sleep training will not work.
Everyone who cares for the baby every day must follow these rules.
What should you do if your baby makes himself vomit or poops/pees to keep his parents at his crib?
Children often make themselves vomit to gain sympathy from their parents. Even if this has never happened before, don't worry. DON'T BE ANGRY (or at least don't show it). Our goal is to teach the child to sleep, not to punish him. Change your baby's clothes, put him back in the crib, say something like: “See, bunny, you are so angry that we are teaching you to sleep that you even... peed/pooped/made yourself vomit. Look, here are your toys, your teddy bear, your pacifier, they will sleep with you all night.” And leave the room. Don’t stop, even if during this entire time the baby is screaming like crazy. Act as if nothing strange is happening and the baby is calm. Remember: all your baby’s actions are aimed at receiving additional attention. He wants to drink, sit in your arms, etc. Don't give him the result he wants. Be calm and continue your line.
Don't change his clothes right away, wait a few minutes. Otherwise, the baby will start writing every three seconds. Pees - mom runs, changes clothes - the baby immediately receives attention - his goal has been achieved!
Is it possible to re-educate a child if he is sick or became ill after the start of upbringing?
If your baby is sick, it is better to leave him alone and wait until he gets better. If he gets sick after he starts, you will have to go to him every time he cries, especially if he has a fever. Give him some water to drink. But remember; you give him something to drink because he has a fever, not to put him to sleep. Then repeat to him all the words about the bear and the pacifier and try to leave the room before he falls asleep. If you wake up, do not wait for minutes according to the table, go to him immediately. As soon as the fever, severe runny nose and cough, which make breathing difficult, pass, begin re-education according to the scheme. Remember: your baby will try to maintain the privileges received during illness. Be calm, gentle, but determined.
Why do some children sleep without problems from birth, while others become a horror for their parents? Is this explained by heredity?
A child is born with a built-in sleep-wake mechanism set to 3-4 hours. Gradually (usually around 2-3 months) this mechanism, called the biological clock (special brain cells), changes, adjusting to a 24-hour clock. For some children, this process of restructuring occurs with problems, that is, they need outside help, adjustments (schedule, external elements). Problems occur on average in 35% of cases. In the same family there can be children with and without problems. There is no exact scientific information about why this happens.
Everyone knows that you can’t drink coffee at night, are there any bans on other children’s drinks or foods?
In the evening, it is better not to give your baby anything stimulating to drink, since in difficult cases even the smallest stimulants can affect sleep. It is better to avoid before bed: coffee, Coca-Cola, cocoa, chocolate, meat in large quantities. In the evening it is better to give porridge, pasta, cookies (not chocolate).
Is it necessary to bathe your baby before bed?
You can bathe him whenever it is more convenient for you. This is an acquired habit and it depends on you how your baby gets used to it. If you bathe him in the evening, this could be another sleep-related element. It is important to wash your baby at approximately the same time. Try not to excite him by bathing him. A relaxing swim can help you relax.
Can a baby watch TV before bed?
Watching TV is not harmful for a child, just as listening to the radio or music is not harmful. It is harmful to watch a lot and without control. A child can watch TV for no more than half an hour, it is better if in the presence of parents, who, if necessary, can explain what is happening. It is better to watch TV between 18 and 19 00, before starting bed-making procedures (dinner-bathing-play-bed). You should not leave him in front of the TV after dinner or just before going to bed, as what he sees may excite him or he may fall asleep in front of the TV if he is very tired, which is unacceptable for proper development of sleep habits.
Our baby is afraid of the dark...
It just means that you have been doing many things wrong until now. If your baby is used to sleeping with little light on, he may wake up at night because the lights are off. The baby realized that if he said: “I’m afraid,” the light would appear again, and most importantly, he would receive his mother’s attention. You need to make sure that the baby is not psychologically ill (it’s easy to check: if he has serious psychological problems, he will be afraid of the dark at any time of the day, and not just when he needs to sleep). The problem at other times of the day manifests itself like this: he is afraid to go to the toilet alone, to watch TV if there is no one in the room, he is afraid to go to the store with his mother, etc. Fortunately, this type of problem is rare, usually the baby uses it as a trick to get attention.
Once you are sure that your baby does not have serious psychological problems, follow the instructions in Chapter 4.
What can cause insomnia in a child?
Changes in habits and the usual course of life. For example, the appearance of a brother completely changes the life of the first-born, who is no longer the favorite baby of the whole house. The same can happen when starting kindergarten. Parents, firstly, should try to provide enough attention to the baby during this difficult transition period and try to ensure that the arrival of a second child does not affect the sleep schedule of the first. That is, there is no need to make another common mistake: rocking the first-born, putting him in the crib in a special way, etc. We need to explain to him what changes have occurred and act as before. Usually, if the parents are attentive enough to the problem, the child begins to sleep well again after a few days. The same goes for moving to a new apartment. Explain to your child that he will have a new home, but that his crib, doll, etc. and in the future they will sleep with him.
If you're already having problems, turn to Chapter 4 and do another sleep training series.
My baby sleeps more during the day than at night...
This means that your baby's biological clock is not yet adjusted. Refer to Chapter 5 for instructions.
Every night my 14 month old daughter wakes up and asks for a drink. I give her the bottle. Sometimes she doesn’t even touch it, sometimes she drinks and then falls asleep. How can we explain this behavior?
Children often ask for milk or water at night, drink and eat, but this does not mean that they are truly hungry or thirsty. Many children already understand at a few months that if they cry at night, they will be given a boob or a bottle. In most cases, babies simply want human warmth, the presence of their parents, but do not yet know how to speak to explain this. They drink or eat a little to be with mom or dad, then fall asleep. Usually this behavior of children leads to the fact that parents give them something to drink every night when they cry. When such kids grow up, they learn to use this trick with even greater dexterity. They force their parents to get up almost every night because they now associate the bottle with sleep. Remember: the mere fact that a child asks for water does not mean that he is thirsty.
The child should drink during the day, not at night. A normal child, if he drinks enough during the day, does not need additional water at night. The same goes for sleep: if the baby eats well during the day and grows according to norms, from 6-7 months he no longer needs night feeding. If he wakes up and demands food and drink, this only shows that he has poor sleep habits.
The only exception is when the baby is sick and has a fever. In this case, he may need to drink at night. But remember: you're giving your baby something to drink because he has a fever, not to put him to sleep.
My baby goes to bed after 11 pm because my husband comes home late and wants to see him. Could this harm our baby?
This situation occurs frequently and is easily explained. However, if you try to be sincere with yourself, you will understand that keeping your child up late in order to be with him or because it is convenient for you is a rather selfish measure. If you remember, in the chapter on schedules we already said that the ideal time for going to bed, corresponding to the biological needs of the child, is 20.00 - 20.30 in winter and 20.30 - 21.00 in summer. Therefore, it is useless to put your baby to bed late during the day in the hope that he will last longer in the evening. This will only further mess up his biological clock. It is also not true that if you put him in his crib later, he will fall asleep and sleep better because he is tired. Children who are too tired sleep worse.
So my advice: Don't be selfish. Try to follow the baby's natural biological needs. Remember that between 6 and 7 months, your baby needs to be helped to develop good sleep habits. Otherwise, he may have psychological and physical health problems in the future.
How can you tell if your baby is crying because of colic (stomach pain, gas)?
Colic goes away between 3 and 5 months. Remember that calming a baby who has a stomach ache can be quite difficult. If you take your baby in your arms at night and he calms down within 2-3 minutes, then it’s not colic. Colic does not appear only at night; the baby should cry both day and evening for the same reason. Therefore, if your baby is more than 5 months old, do not run to him as soon as he starts crying. Otherwise, the baby gets used to the fact that in order to attract attention you need to cry as loudly as possible.
My baby doesn't sleep well because he's teething... This is one of the most common excuses for poor sleep. A common belief is that teeth cause such pain that the baby cannot sleep peacefully at night. So: it has not been scientifically proven that the appearance of teeth is a painful process. If your baby wakes up “because of teeth”, most likely he woke up before (due to “colic”, “hunger”, “thirst”, etc.) If your baby slept poorly before, calm down about teeth and start "re-education".
We have twins. Can they sleep together?
Two children can safely sleep in the same room, provided certain conditions are met. If both sleep well, no problem. If they are 6 months old, you can put them together. But if they sleep poorly (or one of the two sleeps poorly), it is better to separate them during sleep training. If you don't have such an opportunity, train both together.
My son doesn't want to sleep during nap time. Maybe it's better to give it up? For quiet time, you need to behave the same way as when putting your baby to bed for the night. If we feed the child with a spoon for breakfast and lunch, I also don’t see any difference between going to bed during the day and in the evening. Many children stop sleeping during the day by age three, when they start kindergarten. If a 3-year-old child does not sleep during the day, he will be too tired at night - his night sleep will be deeper - problems such as nightmares, sleepwalking, enuresis, etc. may appear.
A child should sleep during the day at least until he is 4 years old, and preferably longer.
If for some reason your baby goes to bed later than the recommended time (at 21.30 or even at 22.00), we advise you to move the bedtime to an earlier time. Remember: we are talking about your baby's health! The recommended schedule is explained by biological rhythms (“biological clock”). If this clock is not set correctly in early childhood, the child is at great risk of having various types of problems in the future (from poor performance in school, problems concentrating, to poor growth and insomnia in adulthood). Some parents postpone going to bed until later because the father returns from work late and wants to see the baby. Don't give in to this temptation! These are your selfish tendencies, which in the future may result in problems for your child.
How can I retrain him to go to bed earlier? First, start waking him up earlier in the morning, don't let him sleep until 9-10 am if he goes to bed late. Under no circumstances should you skip your nap in the hope that you will want to sleep earlier in the evening. In the evening he will be too tired to sleep well. Let him sleep during the day, but not for too long: 1.5 - 2 hours. Go to bed earlier in the evening, do the same the next day, and so on until you achieve the desired schedule.
How to teach a child not to disturb his parents early in the morning?
Small children do not feel time and are not very interested in it. They wake up in the morning because they no longer want to sleep, not because “it’s already 11 am.” Many children wake up early. If the baby wakes up and cries and calls you, it is better to go to him immediately. It's no use pretending you don't hear.
If your baby is awake and chatting to himself or playing in the crib, do not approach him, even if you are already up. This way he will get used to occupying himself a little. Sometimes it helps to give your baby a bottle or a toy, change his clothes and give him something interesting and maybe you can sleep for another hour. If your child is older, analyze why he wakes up so early. Was he woken up by a tram outside his window? Lantern light? He is cold? Hot? If your baby wakes up for one of these reasons, try to eliminate them. If he wakes up because he has already slept, come up with some activity for him that you prepared in the evening: leave him on a chair next to the crib at night, so that he can get out a coloring book and pencils, a bottle of tea, a glass of water, a toy, etc. surprise, etc. When the baby wakes up, he will find what you left and do it for a while.
If your child is three years old or older, he may already be cooperating with you. We offer you a method that will teach him the days of the week, hours and help you sleep longer on Saturday and Sunday. Draw on paper or buy a calendar where you can see the entire month (or by week). Explain to your child what a calendar is. Explain the names of the days of the week. Every day, together with your baby in the evening, put a cross or a circle on the calendar and say: today is Monday, Monday will end, tomorrow will be Tuesday, etc. Tell him that there are two special days a week when his parents will not wake him up, but he will have to wake up his parents. This is Saturday and Sunday. Highlight them on the calendar in a different color. Buy a wall clock for your baby or use one you already have in the house. Hang a clock in front of his crib. The baby doesn't know how to read a clock yet and you need to help him. Attach a 10 o'clock sticker to the clock. (If you want to get up at 10, and your baby wakes up at 8.00) When your baby returns from kindergarten on Friday, tell him:
“Look, today is Friday. Tomorrow will be a special day, tomorrow will be Saturday and tomorrow you will have to wake us up.” Look at your watch. When the big hand covers (touches, is under, etc.) the sticker, it is 10 o'clock. You will have to wake us up and you will get an interesting surprise.” What a surprise? Depends on your imagination. You can hide a balloon under your bed, buy a kinder surprise, organize a pillow fight, etc.
There is no need to buy something new every time, it is important to make something that your baby likes. You can’t answer him at 10 o’clock: “Wait a little, now we’ll play with you.” If he waited until 10 o'clock, you should also keep your word and show him the surprise (play the game) right away.
How to make it stay for up to 10 hours? Some tips: On Friday, go with him to the store to buy him breakfast for Saturday (Sunday).
It is very important to do this with him, so the baby feels involved. Place breakfast on a table/stool next to his crib. When the baby wakes up, he will be able to have a snack himself. Buy him a toy (make one, etc.) that you will only give him on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Leave her on the chair next to the crib. On the first Saturday, the baby will wake up at 8.00 and at 8.05 will be already at your bed shouting: “It's time to get up! Where's the surprise?
It’s normal that this happens, he hasn’t learned to wait yet. Then proceed as at night. Take him to his crib. Explain that it is still early. Show the clock and explain again when the correct time is. If he protests, return to him according to the time table in Chapter 4. This time not to put him to sleep, but to teach him to wait and play on his own. Remember that the baby is still small and it is difficult for him to wait so long, if he wakes up at 8.00, and you want him to wake you up no earlier than 10.00, first you will have to cheat: turn the arrows forward. When the baby wakes up, in reality it will only be 8, but the clock will already show 9.00. He will only have to wait an hour. Encouraged by success, he will be more willing to wait for the appointed hour. And you gradually set the clock to the correct time. This way the baby can wait longer and longer.
Be realistic, do not demand from a 3-year-old child that he plays on his own for 2.5 - 3 hours in the morning. Good luck!
Difficult cases.
Since the publication of this book (1996), we have received a huge number of letters from parents. Most are expressions of gratitude and appreciation. However, in some there is a description of difficulties that parents could not overcome. Now we will look at the perceived and real difficulties of sleep training. We decided to trace the process of sleep training and identify what problems parents encounter. The following is the result of an analysis of the sleep training process of 823 children aged 6 months to 5 years.
Analysis of the application of our method and its results:
- 96% of children learned to sleep without disturbing their parents at night
-in 4%, parents encountered difficulties that they could not overcome. Some children never learned to fall asleep on their own, some learned at first, but after a while they began to wake up at night again.
We analyzed in detail the reasons for the failures. There are objective and subjective reasons. Objective:
- parents did not quite understand our instructions correctly
- the book was read by only one of the parents
-the child is cared for by several people who could not act in the same way
- a third person lives in the house (grandmother, aunt), who influenced the application of the method
- the child fell ill during re-education
- global changes occurred in the child’s life during the period of sleep training: parents divorced, a brother was born, he moved, went to kindergarten, etc.
- one of the parents has serious psychological problems (anxiety states)
- the family sleeps away from home every weekend
- travel with a change in the child's schedule or time zone
The method was not understood absolutely correctly.

The baby is gradually growing up, but the crib is still idle, because he is already accustomed to his mother’s warmth and is categorically against moving to a new place. Not only the child is nervous, but also the mother, and the father is also dissatisfied.

If parents want to know how to teach their child to fall asleep on their own, then they should listen to the recommendations of pediatricians, psychologists and more experienced mothers who were able to survive the stage of accustoming their baby to a crib without any problems.

Parents, when choosing who their child should sleep with, often decide in favor of sleeping together.

In addition, many advocates of natural parenting also advocate a strong baby-mother bond, especially during the newborn period. But there are also disadvantages to this habit.

pros

• A 1 month old baby constantly wakes up at night to get enough of the mother's milk. It is not easy for a woman to get up every time, lift the baby out of bed, give breastfeeding and put him down again;
• The largest amount of prolactin (the hormonal substance responsible for milk production) begins to be produced at night. Lack of sleep, which occurs as a result of constant rocking of the baby at night, negatively affects the volume and quality of breast secretions;
• Physical contact between mother and newborn allows biological rhythms to connect. Therefore, when falling asleep together, mother and baby rest together: after latching on to the breast, the baby calmly dozes off, therefore, the parent also falls asleep.

Minuses

• A child of 4 months only seems small, but on the parent’s bed he can take up quite a lot of space. The father finds himself in such a situation as the “third wheel”, so he is forced to move to the sofa. Naturally, this has a negative impact on the intimate side of the spouses’ lives;
• If a 2-year-old child does not want to sleep in his own bed, then it is extremely difficult to accustom him to his own sleeping place. In addition, there is often a “split” in the family on this issue, when the father seeks to send the baby to a separate bed, and the mother, pitying her beloved little one, wants to delay the moment of “separation”;
• Children's hygiene is more serious, so any infection can increase its impact in a confined bed environment. In addition, if dad smokes, the baby may even experience allergic reactions to nicotine;
• very rarely, but tragedies still happen when a tired mother crushes the baby who is sleeping next to her. Of course, such situations are rare, but you should not forget about them and you should not go to bed tired with your child either.

Sleeping together can help out in a situation where adults feel a lack of communication with the baby throughout the day. For example, when a mother goes to work literally 4 months after the birth of her baby and leaves during the day.

From the point of view of psychologists, children who slept in their parents' bed in infancy are more dependent on mom and dad. However, strong attachment is noted at an early age, then, if there is no excessive care in upbringing, the relationship is normalized.

The question of how to accustom a newborn to a crib almost never arises among parents, since if the child is put to sleep in his own bed from the first days of life, then problems with weaning simply will not arise.

If the child falls asleep with his parents or mother from the moment of birth, weaning will be delayed. That is why it is necessary to choose the age that is most favorable from a psychological and physiological point of view.

During this period, the number of night feedings is significantly reduced, the baby can sleep through the night without waking up. Also, at 6 months the child rolls over without the risk of suffocation and this process does not require special control.

However, this age period is just a recommended period, since it is necessary to look at the baby’s characteristics. Will It’s easier to teach your child to sleep in a crib if:

• the baby is able to sleep soundly at night (the number of night awakenings is 1 - 2 times);
• natural feeding has either already stopped, or the mother breastfeeds the baby three times a day;
• the baby does not cry or scream if he does not see mom and dad when he wakes up;
• he is able to remain alone for a quarter of an hour;
• he tends to push away from his parents during sleep;
• the baby was born full-term and does not suffer from chronic diseases;
• weaning from the parent's bed does not coincide with stressful moments (learning potty etiquette, the birth of a brother/sister, entering kindergarten, weaning).

Solving the problem of how to teach a child to sleep separately does not imply deprivation of physical contact with the mother, but demonstrating the benefits of independent sleep.

If the child does not want to sleep in the crib, perhaps the problem is in his separate sleeping place. In such a situation, you should purchase a special side bed.

This type of furniture is a regular cradle, but it is missing one side. Thus, the crib smoothly flows into the bed for parents, and vice versa.

With the help of special fastenings, the sleeping place for a child is installed on the same level as an adult bed. The baby seems to fall asleep separately, but is next to his mother.

The mother can feed her baby milk at any time, and she doesn’t even need to get out of bed. Having had enough, the child quickly closes his eyes, feeling the warmth of the mother’s body. Mom's affectionate touch will also help to calm you down.

When the baby matures a little (for example, at 2 or 3 months), a small side is created from a diaper in his crib for some separation from the mother. After another 4 weeks, the wooden board returns to its place, usually during this time the child has time to get used to the sleeping place.

After some time, the bed is gradually moved away from the parent's bed. This sequence allows you to avoid violent reactions on the part of the child and prepare the mother psychologically for “parting” with her child.

How to accustom a child to his crib?

Of course, first of all, it is necessary to pay attention to the needs and desires of the baby. However, we should not forget about the interests of adults. Thus, the popular TV doctor Komarovsky is convinced that you should not sacrifice yourself to children.

This means that you need to act decisively and take into account the interests of each household member. After all, if mom or dad don’t get enough sleep or wake up exhausted, no one will be better off.

To transfer a child to a separate crib, you need to act consistently, patiently and take into account the child’s age. Of course, the methods chosen will be different in 3 months or 3 years.

As already noted, the most favorable period for weaning a baby from the parental bed is considered to be the age of six months, plus or minus a few weeks.

In infancy, the baby tends to give up habits faster. What can you do in this case:

• Experienced mothers advise carefully monitoring children's reactions. In order for your baby to fall asleep faster, you need to put him in bed not according to a set schedule, but at the first signs of fatigue. Otherwise, the active child will begin to spin in the cradle and lean on his arms;
• You can influence the subconscious by creating a connection in the baby between a certain action and falling asleep. Already at 4 or 5 months, a baby is able to “track” the connection between bathing, a relaxing massage and going to bed. A lullaby before bed can also be a good ritual;
• A child's bed is a place intended exclusively for falling asleep. You need to feed and play with the baby in completely different corners;
• If the baby falls asleep immediately after feeding, you need to put a diaper under the baby. After a quarter of an hour (when the baby is deeply asleep), you need to move the baby to bed. In addition, a soft diaper will retain the mother's smell, which will promote sound sleep;
• How to teach a newborn to sleep separately? Usually there are no problems with such a small baby. But for a good night's sleep, you can create the conditions for your baby that he is accustomed to in the mother's womb. Experienced mothers advise swaddling the baby until 4 - 8 weeks, then this method no longer works.

If a child sleeps with his parents until about the same time, he learns to be in constant contact with them. Therefore, touch is extremely important to him.

In order to wean a one-year-old child from sleeping together with mom and dad as painlessly as possible, you need to try to compensate for the number of touches and tactile proximity throughout the day.

This will allow the baby to feel surrounded by tenderness and love. But psychologists do not recommend picking him up. It’s better to just stroke, kiss, demonstrating affection through touching.

Children over 2 years old

If parents failed to accustom their child to his own crib at 6 or 9 months, it cannot be said for sure that the good time has already been missed, and the baby will no longer get used to the new sleeping place.

• first piece of advice: if the child does not sleep in a crib, you should gradually accustom him to a new sleeping place. Use the tip mentioned above - use an additional children's bed. The baby will be nearby, but separately from the parents. Then the crib is moved away from the parent's bed;
• It will be easier to accustom your child to a crib if you invite him to buy the furniture himself. In stores there are models in the form of a car, a magic palace, an airplane, a ship;
• For the purchased bed you need to buy accompanying accessories: a blanket, a sheet, a soft pillow, new pajamas. If your baby is wary of the darkness in the children's room, purchase a night light;
• His peers will help teach your baby to sleep; they already have their own separate sleeping area. Go visit so your child can see how other children treat their own crib with respect and pride;
• The baby will be more likely to get used to his crib if he sleeps in it during the day. When laying down, you need to close the curtains, create a pleasant psychological atmosphere, for example, read a fairy tale or give your baby a massage. To make sleep come sooner, be sure to take a walk, let the child run and get a little tired;
• When the baby gets used to it, you can switch to sleeping in a crib at night. Turn on the night lamp to eliminate various fears, read fairy tales. During the day you need to work with your child so that by dinner he already feels pleasantly tired. However, make sure that children do not become overtired.

It may sound a little strange, but, first of all, the mother should want to sleep separately. During their time together in the same bed, a woman could get used to this situation, and now on a subconscious level she does not want to part with her child.

So, we found out that mother’s anxiety and psychological resistance are transmitted to children, as a result of which the child does not want to sleep in a separate crib or simply cannot sleep.

In order not to spoil the process of accustoming to a separate sleeping place, you need to avoid other common mistakes. For example, it is forbidden:

• intimidate children;
• refuse to turn on the night light;
• act inconsistently with your spouse. It is important to first agree with your husband on common requirements for the child;
• scream, use punishment if the child refuses to sleep in the crib;
• transfer a two- or three-year-old baby from the parent’s bed to the baby’s cradle, especially if it is in another room (this age period is the time when fears appear);
• teasing, calling names, laughing at children’s fears or reluctance to sleep separately;
• discuss the current situation with other people, even close ones, in the presence of the child;
• leaving the baby crying in bed for a long time when he wakes up and does not see his mother (also, do not immediately run to another room at the first squeak);
• Allow the baby to stay in the parent's bed. A accustomed child can try, using various tricks, to sleep with mom and dad, manipulating their feelings (with the exception of if the baby is sick).

If a new addition to the family is expected soon, it is necessary to move the older child into a separate bed even before the birth of the youngest family member.

Otherwise, the first-born will feel that the change of sleeping place is connected with the birth of a brother/sister, which may result in protest reactions and constant bouts of jealousy.

As a conclusion

If the question of how to teach a child to sleep separately from his parents seems too difficult to you, you can seek qualified advice from a pediatrician or psychologist.

• it will be easier for the child to fall asleep alone if crib training takes place in the optimal age period - from six to eight months;
• The younger the toddler, the easier it is for him to adapt to the conditions of falling asleep. Newborn babies usually (but not always) sleep peacefully without their mother;
• The optimal way of training is considered to be an additional bed, which allows you to be close to the child and at the same time maintain some distance;
• You should not delay moving to your own children's bed until 2 - 3 years old. At such an “adult” age, the process of addiction will be seriously delayed and become more painful;
• You cannot punish or scold the child, otherwise he will perceive separate falling asleep as a disciplinary measure, which is not very good for parent-child relationships;
• It is important to bring the issue of children’s sleep to a common denominator by discussing all the rules with other household members. The process of accustoming to the crib may be delayed if the grandmother puts the baby under her side.

As you know, every change in a child’s life is not easy. However, if you follow all the important rules and conditions, then very soon the baby will enjoy sleep in his own bed, and you will enjoy peace and tranquility, as well as a full-fledged marital relationship.

Good day everyone, and maybe morning or night, my dears! Have you put your little ones to bed, or do they still require you to guard their sleep? Many mothers and fathers come to me with the question: “How to teach a child to fall asleep on his own?” When I start asking how they fell asleep before, I hear quite expected answers: “He/she slept in the same bed as us, in the middle/always rocked for a long time/sang songs/carried around in a stroller.”

Here is the result for you, how can you learn to sleep on your own when your parents are so protective or... simply lazy, putting the baby to bed with them so that they can sleep longer themselves without getting up in the middle of the night. And then they throw up their hands when it’s almost time for the child to go to school, and he still demands lullabies and mother’s hugs throughout the night. At what age is it time to start weaning you from your parents’ bed and your mother’s “bye-bye”?

After five it's too late

So, how do you think the “ideal” child should go to sleep? Probably in the crib, by yourself, quickly, without jumping up at night? Well, the goals have been defined, which means there is something to strive for. Let's begin.
All mothers are different and everyone determines the optimal age for weaning in their own way. I will tell you about some generally accepted age norms and warn you right away that the sooner you start working on this issue, the better for you and the baby.

If a child is one year old, and he does not want to sleep alone in a cradle, this is not scary, but by the age of three he should be independent in this matter. At 5 years old, this is already a critical age when, according to psychologists, it is already difficult for a child to make an emotional adjustment. Therefore, we try to teach it in infancy.

Of course, at 5 months the baby will be afraid to go to bed alone: ​​he really needs to hear his mother’s heartbeat and even breathing, and feel the familiar smell of milk. But at 10 months it is already quite possible to “relocate” the baby from the parent’s bed to his crib. In children, breastfeeding is gradually fading away, and psychologically he is already more ready.

Of course, you will have to sit with the baby for some time before bed, read books to him, stroke him, or just talk. I will definitely tell you about the little secrets of how babies can successfully fall asleep on their own below.

At about 2 years old, when the child has already learned to walk and talk, and feels quite independent and quite big, you can try leaving him alone in the room. At first, so as not to be afraid, you can leave the door ajar or leave the night light on.

Based on my observations, I will say that you can put your baby in the crib earlier, already at 2-3 months, if, of course, you have enough patience, because without his mother’s warmth he will be capricious and not sleep very soundly. My son slept for the first time without rocking right after his baptism. I don’t know if this is related to the ritual, or maybe I’m just very tired. But it’s a fact: my three-month-old baby lulled himself to sleep, and subsequently there were no jumping up at night.

The first rituals to help the baby fall asleep should begin in the first weeks after birth.

• Contrary to the opinions of opponents of diapers, I will say: swaddling is one of the most effective methods that helps the baby feel like in a cozy cocoon and not wake up at night from the fact that arms and legs “live their own lives.”
• Be sure to sing lullabies; you don’t have to know several of them and have excellent hearing and voice. It is enough to sing “Tired toys are sleeping” in a calm, lulling way, or an impromptu song of your own composition, without rhyme or deep meaning. It is enough for the baby to simply hear his native voice.
• Creating a sound background that will resemble the sounds that the baby heard in his mother’s tummy is an excellent way to promote sleep. This could be an untuned radio, a recording of the sound of rushing water, rain or a waterfall. You can talk to your husband in a low voice while the baby falls asleep, or watch TV quietly. This will help him not to flinch at every extraneous noise as an adult.
• At 3 months, try not to accustom your child to hang on your chest when falling asleep, otherwise later, without a boob, which replaces in this case, he will not be able to sleep at all.
• Before going to bed, the baby should stay awake for at least an hour and a half, because in order to fall asleep soundly, he needs to be tired. But do not allow yourself to become overtired; they have the exact opposite effect on the “falling asleep” process.

• Don't forget to feed the baby and change the diaper so that he doesn't wake up from hunger and dampness.
• During the period when the newborn is tormented, be sure to massage the tummy before bed.
• So that your baby can feel your invisible presence and smell, leave a robe or towel rolled up in the crib. This way he will be more comfortable, and it will seem that it is his mother lying under his side.

Learning to style with Komarovsky

This is how you will gradually prepare your child for independent, peaceful sleep. Dr. Komarovsky claims that if a child does not know how to sleep at 1.5 years old, then it will be very difficult to teach him to do so.

The pediatrician offers his own training method. It has helped many mothers, and I think it will be useful to you too.

First of all, he warns parents against the most common mistakes:

1. Some mothers and fathers decide that it is better to do everything abruptly, and the baby, who is accustomed to sleeping with them, is suddenly “resettled” into another room, closes the door and leaves. This “Spartan” method is clearly not suitable here. For a little person, this is extreme stress, which threatens not only sleep disturbances in the future, but also mental problems. Everything needs to be done gently and gradually!
2. You also cannot do without explanations and unnecessary prefaces. You need to talk to the child in a calm, gentle tone, explain that he is already big and it’s time to start sleeping separately.
3. Ignoring a child’s complaints and fears and not wanting to listen to him is also a big mistake. Be as sensitive as possible, even if the nightmares disturbing your baby seem far-fetched to you. “Someone is hiding under the bed”, “Won’t Baba Yaga come?”, “What if I fall out of bed.” For every baby’s fear, you must give a gentle and reasonable refutation.

Climb under the bed together with a flashlight: after all, there is no one there, just a rolled-up car and a couple of cubes. Baba Yaga flies only in fairy tales, but you won’t fall out of your crib. Just in case, place soft pillows or large toys on the floor at the edge of the bed, which, if anything happens, will “catch” the baby.

Teaching your baby to sleep independently

• The close emotional and physical contact with the mother, which binds the baby so closely from birth, should not be broken, but gradually weakened. If you sleep in the same bed, you can first put your baby’s favorite soft toy to sleep between you, which will then move with him to his small crib.
• Try this trick: instead of immediately putting your baby in a separate crib, first move it next to yours. Sleep like this for several weeks, and then move it back to its original place.
• Do not play noisy or active games before bedtime; the baby should be as calm and peaceful as possible. Read a bedtime story or watch cartoons.
• Your baby's bed should be cozy and beautiful, so that you want to quickly crawl into it, like a little nest, curl up and fall asleep. You can hang a beautiful canopy, put beautiful soft pillows around the perimeter, hang a mobile with pleasant music.
• Ventilate and humidify the air in the nursery; in the stuffiness, the baby will not be able to sleep soundly. Such a dream is more likely to exhaust you, rather than bring you strength and energy.
• Buy a beautiful night light, and at first do not turn it off all night, then turn off the light as soon as the baby falls asleep.
• Be sure to bathe your child every evening, with foam, beautiful toys, and let him swim with a special circle. Water procedures have a great effect on a successful and quick bedtime.
• A glass of warm milk and a kiss from mom are two more rituals that will signal to the little person that it’s time to fall asleep and relax him.

Nightmares and other problems

Komarovsky also says that you can make small concessions. For example, if your baby is tormented by fears or bad dreams, it is quite possible to let him into your bed. The next morning, be sure to talk about this dream, write on a piece of paper the name of the “villain” who frightened him so much, and burn it. The child’s fear will “burn out” along with it.

When traveling or in stressful situations (teeth hurting or cutting), it is also quite acceptable to take the baby with you.

Remember that you can’t swear or scare your baby with “babies” and other monsters. This, on the contrary, will discourage sleep and delay the moment of falling asleep on your own. Be as gentle and patient as possible, and soon your child will be able to fall asleep and not disturb you all night.

Grow up, don’t get sick, walk more, eat vitamins, and then you won’t have any problems with the well-being and emotional state of the baby, day or night.

If you liked and found today's publication useful, be sure to share it on social networks. See you soon, my dears!

All parents want their children to sleep peacefully throughout the night without waking up. But adults do not always take into account the characteristics of the child’s psyche and its abilities relative to age. Falling asleep independently, like any other skill, needs to be mastered according to age. When the child is physiologically ready for this.

• The child is not yet ready for this physiologically and psychologically
• Success in learning at such an early age does not guarantee retention of the skill of falling asleep independently after six months
• Inaccurate use of SZ teaching methods can become unsafe and harm the mother-child relationship.

For the first six months, the baby is completely dependent on the adult.

Emotionally and physically, the baby depends on a significant adult, often on the mother. In the process of emotional communication, caring for the baby, and feeding, an emotional connection and intimacy with the baby is formed. It also depends on how his needs for food, warmth, changing diapers and communication are met. Attachment for the first six months is formed in close tactile and emotional contact with the mother, which is important to consider.

At an early age, the baby still does not know how to calm down on his own; he still needs the help of an adult when falling asleep.

Think about what “independence” is? What can a baby do on his own at such an early age? How independent is it at 2 months? But, undoubtedly, with age, the child’s independence grows and manifests itself in his new motor skills.

For about six months, the baby is faced with psychological separation - the process of natural distance between the mother and the child and him from the mother, which also indicates the growing up of the child. This is a two-way process. Not only does the baby move away from his mother - he can already crawl away, for example, but the mother also allows him to do this in a safe environment and next to her. This is how the baby masters the space, gets to know the world around him, gets acquainted with new emotions and impressions from the fact that he has begun to look differently at the world and the loved ones who surround him - no longer lying on his back, but in an inversion or on his stomach. And here it is very important how much the adult stimulates and encourages these impulses of independence, and, accordingly, the growing up of the baby. After all, it happens that a child at 6-7 months is ready to do something himself, but the parents are not ready for this: they are afraid, protect the baby from a lot, do something for him, although he already knows how to do it himself. In such a situation, it is important for adults to deal with the questions: “Why is this convenient for me?”, “What does my baby’s independence mean to me?”

Sometimes, because the mother is not psychologically ready for the fact that her baby has matured, the mother begins in some situations to feel not as significant as before, and there is a feeling that the child no longer needs her as much. Such experiences have various hidden psychological reasons: a difficult relationship with a spouse, a search for affection in caring for a baby, a difficult relationship with the mother and then the fear of “not giving” something to her little treasure, and perhaps the mother herself in such a relationship with the child feels special and most significant.

But the independence of the baby and his growing up do not make the mother less significant, sometimes, on the contrary, in order to get through, the baby first needs the mother’s support - he clings to his mother, is constantly in her arms, does not let go of her hand in order to gain security, take a step forward and “ let go of your mother until the next crisis event.

And at each age stage of the child, the mother’s love will manifest itself in different actions and deeds. Even when a mother stops breastfeeding, she does not become less important to her baby. She doesn't start loving him any less, just like he doesn't love her. And with age, other manifestations of mother’s love and care develop. Think about how you care about your baby? Remember, is this love and care different now from what it was at the baby’s early age? Are there new ways to tell and show your warm feelings to your child?

Why do we recommend teaching how to fall asleep independently after 6 months?

At about 6 months, the baby becomes more mobile, he is already actively rolling over and learning to crawl. By 6-7 months, self-regulation processes begin to start, which allows the baby to learn new ways of calming down and find his own.

At this age, actions unrelated to the presence of an adult at the moment of falling asleep can act as self-soothing: children can fall asleep on their own if they sometimes have a pacifier, a sleepy pet, thumb sucking, “squeezing” a blanket, “purring” “lullabies-mantras” under their breath. .

By 6-8 months, it is important to develop independence, help the child grow up, and encourage it. A - this is like any other skill that can and should be taught to a child if he is ready and healthy (IMPORTANT! To rule out medical reasons, we recommend contacting a pediatrician).

What can help prepare a child to fall asleep independently at this age?

1. Check your sleeping conditions. Don’t be afraid to create ideal conditions for sleep and stop worrying that this will prevent your baby from sleeping in the future at the slightest rustle. Typically, such demands on sleep conditions concern very sensitive babies. Remember that it is important for children to create a comfortable sleeping environment. Children need ventilation and coolness more than adults. room for bedtime, don’t worry that it will confuse the child. Darkness helps to sleep better, because the “sleep hormone” begins to be actively produced in the dark, so it is easier for children to relax their eye muscles and keep their eyelids closed. In addition, children are less distracted by looking at and studying their surroundings.

1. Rituals. How much we write about It's so simple and so effective, but many parents ignore the importance of bedtime rituals. Why do rituals work? Consistency and predictability are important to children. Repeating the same steps every night before bed helps set you up for sleep and be ready for it. This predictability is calming and relaxing. You can try introducing rituals gradually. Add more relaxing activities before bed, think about which quiet activities are enjoyable for both you and your baby. Try to enjoy this process yourself. Enjoy the time you spend alone with your baby, completely devoting yourself to each other. And remember that with age, rituals for falling asleep are supplemented and saturated - what you did with a 5-month-old baby will already be boring for a 1-year-old baby.

1. Choose a comfortable mode. By 5-6 months, it begins to develop with 3-4 daytime sleeps. At this age, you can try to record the time of going to bed at night and waking up in the morning, as well as the first morning sleep 1-1.5 hours after waking up. Watch your baby, focusing not so much on, but also on the signs of your baby’s fatigue, on his. Record and analyze your observations. They will help you build an individual routine for your child. But remember that waking time increases with age and the routine gradually changes. Be prepared for this. In the evening, you can search for a comfortable bedtime over the course of several days. We call this time the “sleep window” - the beginning of the production of the “sleep hormone” melatonin, the time when the child falls asleep faster and easier. This will help you ease into bed and reduce the time it takes to fall asleep.

1. Daytime sleep in a crib. The recommendation to avoid primarily concerns morning naps (the first nap of the day) and afternoon naps (the second nap of the day). Sleeping in a stroller is poor quality sleep and does not allow the baby to rest properly. It is important to gradually accustom your child to sleep in the crib. First, form a positive attitude towards the crib, then try to organize the first nap in the bed, and then an afternoon nap. After a few days, you can sometimes move the baby to sleep - sleepy, ready for sleep for one of the naps in his crib. It is important to teach not only to wake up in your crib, but also to fall asleep, to teach you to be aware of the moment of falling asleep in your bed.

1. Gradually reduce your intensity as your baby falls asleep: rock, stroke, sing a little less.

1. Remember that during the regression period of 7-10 months it is better not to accept strict rules. Start teaching SZ when the child experiences sleep regression.

Remember that the effectiveness of the child’s learning and how he falls asleep on his own largely depends on the psychological readiness and mood of the mother.

If the mother is not ready to teach the baby to fall asleep independently

It may also be that at 6-7 months the baby’s mother is not ready to teach the child to fall asleep on his own. And that's normal, it's mom's choice. This means that it is important for mom to work through some important topics, but for now this does not suit her. Much depends on how comfortable the whole family is with the child’s current sleep situation and whether they want to change anything. We always repeat - if you are satisfied with everything, then you don’t need to change anything!

It is important to understand that there are cultural differences and differences in upbringing. In the West, the child becomes more independent faster, the relationship between mother and children is more restrained, the baby separates from the mother early, the mother herself separates from him both psychologically and physically at an earlier age, mothers go to work earlier and send their children to kindergarten very early. For European and American mothers there is no internal conflict or contradiction on this matter - this is acceptable and familiar to them. But such a sharp and early separation from the baby is often not suitable for mothers in the CIS and Russia. In the Russian-speaking zone, mothers are more sacrificial, child-centrism becomes a real distinctive feature - most mothers are not ready to go to work early and leave the baby with someone, most often mothers do not encourage the child’s independence, they are very protective and try to do a lot for him, so our children are a little later they become independent. This is neither good nor bad. This is fine. And these cultural differences should be taken into account, otherwise the mother will have an internal conflict that prevents her from achieving her goals: “I want to teach him to fall asleep on his own in a separate room, but I myself like to sleep with him so much and I’m afraid that he will lie there alone without me” - and as a result, the training stops at psychological work with the mother, her readiness.

In most cases, they help the mother find her inner resources, find a balance between “need and want,” and come to a middle ground between the mother’s personal desires and the child’s needs.

Sleep, Baby consultants help parents overcome difficulties with their children’s sleep, prepare them to fall asleep independently, and undergo SZ training under the sensitive support of psychologists and child sleep specialists. which we use in our work was developed in America, but we adapted it for Russian-speaking mothers, taking into account cultural characteristics. The gentle distancing method helps teach the baby to sleep on his own, with minimal help from the mother and with a non-traumatic experience for the child.

And if the baby does not know how to sleep on his own and he constantly needs contact with his mother when falling asleep, then you can and should work with this - teach the baby to fall asleep on his own. It's a skill like walking or talking. Someday the child will learn to do this himself, but with the help of an adult he will be able to learn a new skill faster and more efficiently.

Good afternoon, dear readers! Many mothers are afraid to sleep with their young children. It seems to them that if the baby is not used to sleeping separately from birth, then it will be very difficult to “move” him somewhere later.

There is even an opinion that the sooner you start teaching your child to sleep separately, the easier it is to do... How to teach a child to sleep in his own crib? In this article I will talk about methods applied to children of different ages and share my experience.

Separate sleep from birth

On the one hand, there is nothing complicated here. Just put the baby to sleep in the crib. And every time I get up to see him at night.

If mom is ready to get up many times during the night and this does not affect her well-being, there is probably nothing terrible about it. But we must keep in mind that the vast majority of children wake up very often.

Are you ready for such a feat? Personally, I don't. I was afraid of sleeping together with my eldest daughter for two whole months; I got up to the child 10-20 times a night. And at one point I decided that I had enough. She began to place the baby next to her and breastfeed for every squeak. That's when I started getting enough sleep.

A good video that can help teach a baby to sleep if he is less than a year old:

How to teach your baby to sleep separately from birth?

• From the very beginning, place the baby in a separate crib. If he wakes up in the process of shifting, try again and again until you achieve success;
• Every time a child cries at night, get up, take him in your arms, calm him down, and put him back in the crib.

I will not talk about those methods when babies are left alone to cry, teaching them to sleep without waking up. For me, such methods are unacceptable.

Co-sleeping up to 1-2 years

Many mothers prefer to place their children next to them until they are 1-2 years old. Thanks to this, they do not have to constantly jump up in the first year of life, when children's sleep is so intermittent.

At one or two years old it is still difficult to explain anything to a child. Therefore, the scheme for accustoming a baby to a crib is extremely simple:

• We teach you to fall asleep in a crib. First, we sit next to each other, stroke, read books, sing songs. Then we gradually reduce our actions.
• when the child wakes up at night, we put him back in his crib. Stroking, soothing or something else.

If the child is sleeping soundly, you can put him to sleep where he is used to, and then transfer him to the crib. But some children may get scared when they wake up in a different place.

Another experience of a young mother:

Therefore, if the baby falls asleep only next to you, the easiest way to move him into bed is to first go to bed with him and lie next to him until the baby falls asleep. When the baby wakes up at night, come to him again. And after a while, gradually learn to fall asleep on your own.

Some mothers at this age do not try to ensure that the child sleeps in the crib all night until the morning. And they allow the baby to come to them in the morning and sleep together.

Co-sleeping up to 3-5 years

From my point of view, this is the best option. And the simplest... The child is already big. He is already ready to sleep separately. Everything can be explained to him. You might be interested. And crib training is often extremely easy.

The first step is to create a buzz around the crib. For some time, draw the child’s attention to how big children sleep in their beds, give examples of friends, characters from fairy tales. Together, choose a new crib for your child... But promise to buy it only when he is very big (after his next birthday or some special day, after he does something special, learns to count to 20, etc. ). That is, sleeping in your own bed is a special honor, the highest reward. It's prestigious, cool, attractive.

Typically, children aged 3-5 years old want to be big. And such ideas are received with a bang. The main thing is not to rush things.

Then you ceremoniously buy a crib. If the baby has never fallen asleep without you, help him fall asleep there... At night, you can remind him that he is now big and can sleep in the bed... And so on. It is done.

If the bed is already standing, we also gradually tell you how all big children sleep in cribs. We doubt that our baby is already that big... But at some point we allow him to sleep there.

For some children, you can simply promise something good if they prove their maturity by sleeping in bed for 10 days straight. It worked for us with ease.

Our experience

I taught my daughter to sleep in her crib at age 4. The bed had been standing for a long time and was quite small. I sometimes put my daughter to bed there under the pretext “Let you lie in the crib, and I’ll read you a book/give you a massage.” But since I didn’t behave very competently before, my attitude towards the bed was negative. At night, my daughter always returned to us.

When my daughter turned 4 years old, I realized that she was ready to sleep alone. And since we still needed to buy a new bed, I decided to go the following way...

From time to time I pointed out to my daughter that her older friends were sleeping in their beds. She saw their beds at a party... And she wanted the same ones.

No problem! I promised her that we would buy a beautiful crib when my daughter learned to sleep on her own. Otherwise, why buy? They buy beds only for those who sleep themselves!

In addition, I taught my daughter to fall asleep without me. Again, first we looked at photographs of cribs on the Internet... We chose the right one, admired it... And I said that for this Lisa needs to fall asleep herself.

All. Since then, Lisa has been sleeping alone. Never comes to us at night. It's been 4 months already.

A couple of years ago I was afraid that learning to sleep separately would have to be done through tears, with great difficulty... I was ready to go through any work, for me it’s better to sleep peacefully for 4 years and only suffer for a month with moving out... Than to jump and ride at night.

So, I didn’t need to make any effort to wean myself off co-sleeping. Just show my daughter’s friends on the bed a few times and promise a new crib... Which I was going to buy anyway.

Our youngest son has been sleeping with us since birth. And I also plan to leave co-sleeping for up to 3-4 years. And then he will be easily attracted by the idea of ​​sleeping alone, like his older sister... Even now he really wants to sleep in his sister’s place. But now I myself am not ready for such a turn of events, since it is not finished yet. And getting up at night... I have no such desire.

For me, co-sleeping is an opportunity to sleep at night, almost never getting up... Someone complains that sleeping like this is very crowded. For this, I can only recommend buying a wide sofa. Instead of spending money on cribs, it is better to buy a cheap wide sofa! Cheap - so as not to cry every time the baby pees (day or night). Or - he will paint with a ballpoint pen.

Co-sleeping helps your baby feel safe. And it helps the mother feel the child. This is just a few years of life... Which can be filled as much as possible with warmth and closeness to the baby. When the child is ready, he easily begins to sleep separately. And it’s even a pity that kids grow up so quickly.

Good videos about children’s sound sleep from a specialist - look here.