Why alcoholic copendion appears: signs and treatment

Copending with alcoholism is a psychological term, the pathological condition of a person living with a drunkard. It is characterized by signs of excessive self-sacrifice, a sense of guilt, low self-esteem, the lack of force of the will and sense of self-preservation. In other words, co-dependent cleanly deprived of egocentrism as needed, it is concerned about the problems of others more than their own. There is someone else's life, dissolves in another person psychologically, emotionally, physically.

Causes of state

The primary reason is life with a man abusing alcohol. The risk group includes all native blood or legally (husband, wife) who are forced to communicate closely with Alkash.

If we consider deeper, the root cause can be called incorrect education when the child teach to sympathize with the patient, weak. Without explaining the difference between a randomly developed disease, when a person is unable to impede this, and alcohol addiction. Being not a disease, but a focused, selfish behavior formerly adequate individuals, consciously leading to self-destruction.

The mechanism of development is simple and begins with an attempt to justify an alcoholic. More often to pathology, the wife of drunks are prone to the pathology, which deny the presence of a bad habit of her husband, writing off all misconducts on his character. Rips are treated as weakness, the unwillingness to quit a drink - naturally worn, egoism. And the woman herself does not suspect co-addiction, although if the following signs, a psychologist will put such a diagnosis:

hyperemp of drunkards alternating with indifference to it;
the feeling of guilt, self-evidence itself is that a person drinks;
low self-esteem;
self-deception and denying the fact of the problem.

Alcohol copendionality is the extreme form of pathological love directed towards drunks. Potting its weaknesses, wish to drink, unconsciousness of their own life. In the future, apatia is replaced, loss of anxiety for a drinking, which further aggravates the situation in the family.

Considerability is formed gradually, close drunk turns into his "appendage", a substitution of personal life, the interests of the values \u200b\u200bof an alcoholic occurs. More often people risk people who:

there is no self-realization;
it was a difficult childhood with power, cruel, despotic parents;
notionlessness, weak willpower, infantilism;
in early childhood there were stress, shock.

The origins of the problem should always be sought in childhood, its upbringing. Only people with certain features of nature can become different from an alcoholic.

Symptoms of telecommunication

Cooling relations in the alcohol family are practically invisible for people who do not know about the presence of such pathology. Moreover, over the centuries, care for drunk and life is presented with his interests as "cross", which a woman (or a different close person) must carry on his shoulders. In essence, the society itself, the church is the reason for the aggravation of the situation, advising "to accept and not rapid on God's fishery."

According to psychologists, kindness, sympathy, attention during life with an alcoholic is an unnecessary manifestation of feelings. The notorious 10 commandments play with a man with a dick joke, provoking the development of alend. The following personality characteristics, behavior close to mental disorder, and determine the symptoms of alcohol treatment.

Desire to change

The desire to impose an alkash their vital values, desires, the correct model of behavior in society. That is, "create" the personality that would be desired to see nearby. This a priori is impossible, since an adult is amenable to easy adjustment, and that if there is a desire. Cooling do not own the principles of psychological art and carry out the work of the work, making every effort to return the drip to normal (in their opinion) of life. Drunkos about it his ideas, as a result, scandals, swearing, fights arise.

Abnormal feeling of guilt

Creative formed a pathological feeling of guilt in what is happening, they are firmly convinced that with their trustees, he became Alkash. This is more sinned by the mother of drunks, justifying the behavior of the daughters permanent employment, when they grew. Growing Chad themselves aggravate the guilt, accusing everyone and all in their troubles, unrealization, poverty. Their opinion: to alcoholism they brought close to the lack of attention, complaints, discontent. And if a healthy person perceives it as nonsense, co-dependent - as shots of conscience.

Alcohol control

Error sympathetic in constant control for the presence, the number of alcohol in the house. By destroying alcoholic stocks, it is not necessary to believe that it is also saved by additives dependent. Such behavior only provokes the development of trembleness, tricks, lies to Alkash. Dangerous moment - drinking alcohol together, resolving to drink in the apartment.

Faith in promise

If the drinker says that it will throw - this is a lie of pure water! Coupling is characterized by a unconditional alcoholic faith, each time he is caught behind a glass. Alkash begins to warmly assure the opponent that this is exactly his last sip of alcohol in life, and tomorrow he begins sober life. And so repeats constantly. It is important to remember that the oaths are bluffing, the sleeping of vigilance. Alcoholic can not be perceived as an honest person responsible for his words. Having promised, he immediately forgets and is sincerely surprised if he is reminded of this.

Almost always a copended person is afraid of loneliness, to stay one, let go even a life-degrading relationship. Loses the ability to see the real state of affairs, denies its own needs, "dissolving" in another person.

Brief symptoms of pathological condition:

perfectionism, fear before the censure;
perception of criticism in bayonets;
failure to calculate their own desires, problems;
obsession of the life of others and a sense of responsibility for their suffering;
the inability to say "no", low self-esteem;
self-fighting, self-vacation.

Co-dependent always seeks to take responsibility for the behavior of an alcoholic, controls his actions. It grows its own assessment of significance. It is believed that without care for drunkard, he will disappear unattended.

The bright and terrible manifestation of the ailment is immunity to emotional and physical pain when co-dependent suffers of beatings, insult, treason. It is almost always accompanied by neurosis, chronic depression, conversion.

Psychological behaviors

Pleislamatic Triangle Karpman - the victim, the pursuer, the Savior. This is the theory of human relations, which in 1986 he voiced Stephen Karpman. Where the pursuer (P) is a strong person, a terrorizing victim (g), a weak, haired creature, and the Savior (C) helps and sympathizes to her.

"Victim"

"Pursuer"

"Savior"

Her position in life is unwillingness to be responsible, shifting problems on the shoulders of others. Search for pity, sympathy. Often provokes aggression on the part of P deliberately, then it is successfully manipulated to them. Such an individual is confident in the injustice of life, the mass of suffering, offended and fears. It has a hypertrophied sense of guilt, jealousy, shame, envy. It is in constant anxiety, overvoltage, which provokes somatic diseases. Well it is afraid to live, strong impressions, prone to depressions, longing, passive and inert, there is no desire for development.

Strong, dominant person, seeking to "catch" well and successfully manipulate it. Obtaining moral satisfaction from the "neclification" of a weak personality. Attempts by the latter to defend their rights only to open P. He is inclined to control everything, learning life, indicates errors. Its main emotions are irritability, anger, tension, the accusation of people who do not accept His "care." P sincerely believes that he teaches a good, and angry when that resists.

Strong personality with a certain fraction of aggression. Protects well from P, feeling necessary and feeling satisfaction. It feels pity for w and to p, sympathizing with the latter, but at the same time evil on his behavior with J. and protects not on the "call of heart", but in order to pump P. psychotype with - foul,

sympathy, offended. Inside considers himself above w and p, which completely satisfies his ego.

With alcoholism and television addresses, the participants of the Karpman triangle are constantly "taped", change in places. In the afternoon, the wife is a pursuer, looking for a bottle, so as not to give a drink, in the morning - the Savior, runs for the dehochemel, in the evening - the victim, when the husband gets drunk and suits Drunk Debuck. At some point, the nerves of the testimony donate, often a psychotic state ends with a colony for the murder of hot beloved Alkash.

Possible consequences

Direct danger to a person - when pity and desire to help hypertrophied forms. Alcoholic care is replaced by pathological obsession, the development of the OCD: if there is a strong copendion of alcoholic, life becomes unbearable.

Superguing person degrades, a long psychological dormant leads to irreversible consequences. List of possible developments:

previously aging;
chronic fatigue;
long-term depression, elevated level of anxiety, panic attacks;
unexpensive, indifference to appearance and personal hygiene.

Psychologists do not distinguish the phenomenon in a separate syndrome, there is no graduation on the ICD-10. Bright behavioral or somatic violations are invisible, but they are, the specialist sees them, so you cannot be considered a fully healthy person. The personality is aimed only to ensure the comfortable existence of an alcoholic, becomes a hysterical, unbalanced, not a member of the Soviets - even purely logical.

For an alcoholic personally does not change anything. If co-dependent "comes from the distance", he recruits the next close person, entangling her web and destroyed as a spider sacrifice.

How to get rid of alcohol treatment

Capped personality is not able to act in their own interests. The advice of the psychologist here will be invaluable, it is a psychologist who attending conversations, not a psychotherapist prescribing a pill. The help of drugs is small, a person must comprehend the reason for the infringement of his own rights, desires, needs. Realize that it is impossible to live in favor of others. Independently develop a sense of healthy egoism, compassion for yourself, get out of the "Comfort Zone" and remove the old model of behavior.

Phenomena treatment is based on the following therapy principles:

individual psychologist sessions;
training methods for managing stressful situations;
group classes will help to get rid of the problems, where everyone is pronounced;
the use of techniques to help achieve inner harmony, calm.

To teach co-addiction together with the relatives (brother, sister, etc.). They will help to suffer to look at his behavior from the side, in another way, to realize what is actually happening when living with an alcoholic.

In order not to earn the "Alcoholic Wife Syndrome", not to become a dumb "apply", it is necessary to immediately realize the danger of living next to the drinking. There is nothing galloping, if a person does not "bear his cross," and thinks about himself, will include healthy egoism, first of all in order not to lose herself, become a confident and self-sufficient person.