Modern marriages are increasingly ending with divorces. This is due not only to economic progress, thanks to which the family has ceased to be a way to survive: a girl can provide himself, and a man is to equip a personal life. The birth of children outside of marriage or incomplete family is no longer denied by society, and the divorce procedure is simple as never. Therefore, the psychology of family relations as a science, considering the problems of the family, as well as ways to preserve it, has become particularly relevant.

Stages of the development of family relations between husband and wife

Family relationships are not a static state, but a continuously developing process. Crisis, conflicts - the same component of him like love or respect. Any development is dismissed without refusing to the old forms and rules, so the spouses need to be prepared for change. Any couple passes several stages of relations, each of which lasts for several months or years:

1. Love or "candy-bought" period. This is the time when a man and a woman try to conquer each other and, being influenced by passion, tend to idealize, have overestimated expectations regarding family life. The shortcomings of the second half are either not coming at all, or perceived biased. A significant role is assigned to external data, the behavior manner, public status of a partner.
2. Getting used or wipes. The pair already lives together for a while, and the priorities, life values \u200b\u200band interests of everyone come to the fore. Incompoints in these issues put two to the position of confrontation, quarrels and conflicts - a frequent satellite in relations. If a man or woman is not able to accept and understand each other, the divorce is inevitable.
3. Compromises. If the pair successfully overcame the previous stage, the time of sustainable family relationship occurs. It does not always guarantee the satisfaction of both partners, because The compromise in the family is achieved in different ways (equality, submission, humility, pressure, etc.) - each of the spouses chooses and plays a role that suits everyone to one degree or another.
4. Odenship and routine. Gradually, family relationships lose passion, become predictable. Boredom in communication is also dangerous as the explosion of emotions on the previous ones. Spouses get tired of each other, lose meaning in the continuation of family relationships, begin to seek adventures on the side.
5. Mature family. If a man and woman successfully overcame the first 4 levels, it comes time for conscious family relations that do not always hold on love. Often the cement of such relations is mutual respect, the experience of joint overcoming difficulties, common interests (including material), as well as the fear of loneliness.

Crisis in the family

Family life crisis - an inevitable transition to a new round of relations. You do not need to be afraid of it, but to prepare, learn how to make concessions and take responsibility worth it if there is a goal to save the family. Experts allocate several periods of family relations:

• The first year of family life is the formation and establishment of the inner and external borders of the family, tinting the characters and habits of a man and a woman.
• From the 3rd to the 5th year - as a rule, at this time the first child appears, a housing issue is solved, a joint expensive property is acquired. There is a redistribution of roles (spouses - parents), new responsibilities appear, new responsibility. Love converts into friendship or habit.
• From the 7th to the 9th year - the children have grown, everything "settled". Fatigue appears from each other, feeling in sex and joint habits, the feeling of routine in everyday life and communication, disappointment in expectations that were not realized.
• From the 15th to the 20th year - children grow up and separated from the parent family, the career reaches a certain peak. There is a feeling that everything is achieved, it is not clear where to move on. This period often coincides with the middle-aged crisis in a man or a woman (40 years old), which also gives rise to the uncertainty of further relations.

Married treason (why spouses change each other)

Cheating can happen at any stage of family relationships. Occasionally, the cause of the man's roar is becoming a banal physical attraction from a totality with low moral principles (when the desire to enjoy "here and now" exceeds the sense of family debt to his wife). However, such factors become much more often the prerequisite for treason as:

• sexy dissatisfaction or boredom in bed;
• insecurity, the need to recognize their attractiveness in the eyes of the opposite sex;
• lack of spiritual proximity, peaceful loneliness, when "not to talk to anyone";
• violation of personal space, the need to feel free;
• intense furnishings in the family, the need of psychological discharge, the need to remove stress;
• need protection: Family is not a rear, one of the partners does not feel stability (in money or feelings) and trying to find it on the side.

If a person gets in family relationships everything you need (love, respect, sexual satisfaction, recognition, understanding, care, physical and moral leisure, stability), the desire to look for someone does not arise on the side. Not everyone is able to forgive treason, but try to prevent such a turn of events - the task of both spouses.

How to build a trusting relationship?

A strong family is always the work of men and women, because to build a trustful close relationship and keep marriage for many years, one love is small. Respect and ability to compromise - these are the main keys to family happiness. Another secret of the psychology of a happy relationship is not to try to avoid family quarrels, because it is almost unrealistic, it is better to learn how to solve the emerging conflicts. Specialists in the psychology of family relations give the following advice for those who want to keep the family:

• show your love as often as possible (if not words, then actions);
• do not attempt to remake the soul mate - this is the pressure that sooner or later will be accepted into the bayonets;
• do not compare the spouse with anyone - every person is individual;
• do not be silent about the problems that you are worried (your half, most likely, does not recognize that you have in my head, and the game in your silence is a dead end).

If it came to a quarrel, psychology experts advise to remember:

• no need to generalize and remember old resentment;
• speak only what was going to say (specify);
• consider the emotions (a hurt word, spoiled, is remembered for a long time);
• head to forgive.

Video: Why does the conflict appear in marriage?

Understanding the psychology of the family conflict is the first step towards its permission. Looking at this video, you will learn about the psychological prerequisites of difficulties in the family. The point of view and advice of specialists will prompt how to understand the partner during the crisis period, which is to be taken to successfully overcome conflicts in family relations.