On the network, folk wisdom wanders: the family is a small country in which Pope - President, Mama - Minister of Finance, Minister of Health, Minister of Culture and Emergencies in the Family. Children are a people who constantly require something, indignant and suits strikes. As they say, in every joke there is some truth. Is this family relationship formula really suitable for most people or is not such a generalizing, how do we think? And what is the characteristic of the family relationship in this case will be the reference?
It is said that each of the happy families is unhappy in their own way. After all, the truth is, there are some characteristics of family relationships, thanks to which we feel in a circle of our relatives calmly and harmoniously. However, it may be different. There are cases when people designed to become the closest, become the causes of constant stress and dissatisfaction with life.
Various characteristics of the relationship in the family, both between the spouses and between parents and children, really take place. I understood the mechanism of their action and having understood, in which form of relationships are a separate problemable family, you can try to find an output and eliminate the problem.
Characteristics of family relationships
What are the characteristics of the family relationship?
We highlight 7 basic types and consider each of the characteristics separately:
Traditional family
This is the perfect type of relationship. It is rather harmonious and its main characteristic is stability. Love, respect and mutual understanding reign here. Spouses are united in lifestyles. It cannot be said that in such families there is no disagreement, however, all roughness and angles are smoothed here calmly and to mutual pleasure. Such well-coordinated relationships of her husband and wife are the result of their deep respect for each other and care. Such families are most often durable and reasons for this mass. Home is a positive example of a family in which future spouses grew. As statistics show, a child who has grown in a full-fledged family, where love and consent prevails, subconsciously projects such relationships in their future family.
Naturally, most wanted the relationship characteristic of relationships in their families, as described above. However, this manages not everyone. Unfortunately, the traditional family, as a kind of relationship in its pure form, is becoming more and less.
Parental-children's
When one of the spouses, no matter the husband or wife, as a rule, is much older than its partner. Moreover, the age interval between her husband and wife can wash in the most different from seven, up to twenty or more. One of the spouses builds his behavior from the position of a child, irresponsible and capricious, and the other - his pampers, takes care, cares, but also controls, brings up, making all sorts of comments. One of the pair in the role of "adult" imposes all responsibilities to solve most of the everyday problems, ranging from financial support by finishing any organizational issues.
As a rule, this characteristic of the relationship is inherent in very young wives and their wealthy husbands of mature age, or, in the case when weak, infantile and non-independent Yunsians enter into the union with more mature dominant women who are accustomed to the "whole whale to drag on themselves."
Such relationships may cloud to last for quite a long time. This idyll will be collapped only in the case when the spouse - "child" will begin to "grow up." He will gradually become an excessive guardian and constant control. The dominant partner will call only irritation. What will lead to the collapse of such relationships.
Classical tyranny
In the families of this type there is only one person - a strong and powerful spouse - Tirana. The interests and needs of the other family members are not taken into account, the boundaries of their personalities are lubricated, obeying the requirements of the Tiranian dictator.
The dominant spouse or spouse will control every step of any of the family members, pointing home, how to behave what to do how to plan your day. Tiran is methodically and not without pleasure indicates the rest on their shortcomings. He is the only managing family budget, pointing its second half, how to make money.
In such families, it is quite often a manual attribution. Not everyone can feel comfortable for a long time with such a family mistake. Classical tyranny can exist only at the initial stage of mutual love and how long this type of relationships will continue depend on the large number of factors.
Relationship - "Dependence on Dependency"
There are when there are alcoholics, drug addicts, and other dependent categories in the family. In this case, the dependent person subordinates all members of his family, without thinking about their needs and desires. Capped in this family are engaged only by solving the problems of the dependent. Trying from the last strength to pull him out of the abyss, save from a detrimental passion, they unconsciously completely deprive themselves to normal life, sacrifice their well-being.
In such families, there may also be a manual execution, right up to the tragic finals. The family in such cases may be preserved only when the dependent person will have a serious reason once and forever defeat his passion. A happy resolution of such stories is infrequent. Usually, families are destroyed when the patience of the compulsive spouse comes an end.
"Everyone in itself" or a broken family
Such families sometimes seem to be a stranger very prosperous. The boundaries between the spouses are very clearly distributed here. Each of them, practically, lives with its own individual, independent of the partner life, without encroaching on the interests and freedom of the other. Most often, this is a notorious "civil marriage" or a guest marriage, where one partner, rather a woman, considers himself a married, and the second is a man, considers himself free. Less often - on the contrary. Husband and wife can live separately from each other, in different cities, even in different countries.
Such families can exist quite a long time, but also this relationship comes an end. The reasons for breaking are many. Most often, a change in the worldview of one of the partners is happening and the characteristic of their so-called "marriage" changes from its part. Of course, this partner will try to convince his half to reconsider his beliefs and take a look at their family through the prism of his new values. However, this is not always accompanied by the preservation of the family.
Friendly relationships (brother-nursing)
It sounds promising, however, such families are at least the rest are doomed to the gap. It would seem that her husband and wife have excellent mutual respect, common interests, some kind of overall work or goal to which they go. They are not bad to understand each other without words. But, brother-nursing relationships exclude mutual attraction between partners, a carnal passion. There is no place for sex. Therefore, the collapse in such a family comes more often when one of the spouses find a man who causes a storm of emotions, a sexual desire that the current partner was not capable of calling.
Relationship "Fireworks"
There both spouses are quite emotional personalities and are not deprived of artistic abilities. Husband and wife constantly compete with each other. This family is a volcano or Italian La Famiglia. In this relationship, no one wants to give up. As Svyatoslav Vakarchuk sing: - I will not give up without a fight! Here all problems and misunderstandings are solved by loud scandals. Student clarifications of relations are not surprised. Any "fountain scenes" here become the property of neighbors and is put on their strict and not always an objective court.
However, after a turbulent quarrel, the same eccentric reconciliation occurs. Husband and wife got a good emotional discharge, as they say, fastened, splashing their negative. And now, as if nothing had happened, they are ready to live further, to a new quarrel that will not wait long. The most interesting thing, each of the partners considers his family quite prosperous and does not complain about bitter fate.
How long can such a family exist? Yes, quite a long time. Both spouses, as if feeding each other with their emotions and live quite harmoniously, as it seems to them, however, it is worth asking the opinions of their neighbors who who only do not speak: viewers, arbitration judges, a ram and ambulance together together. Are these unfortunate endurance people who are forced to endure all this fireworks of emotions? And whether they will not want to once again stick into these stormy clarifications of relations, saving one of the spouses from the other, giving them or still to reconcile himself, either to kill each other, so that the long-awaited silence finally come in their home?
Types of relationships and their influence on children
Each of the characteristics of family relationships, of course, imposes its imprint on the mentality - mental, moral and mental development of a child who grows and develops in families with the above classification.
In families with any disharmonic signs, the likelihood of the fact that these features of your relationship will make serious harm to the psycho-emotional and moral development of your child. His and without the fragile children's psyche will be distorted under the influence of unhealthy relations in the family, underpowering irreparable consequences and causing serious mental injuries.
So the child who has grown in the Tiran family can develop tendency to sadizm, mental disorders of various classification. While, in a traditional family, where relationships are close to ideal, as a rule, a calm, balanced child will grow, with a normal self-esteem, which will subsequently develop into a successful self-sufficient person.
The dependence of the nature of the education environment
Among the factors affecting the viability of the family and their prosperous existence, it is allocated: the level of education, the formation of partners, grafted life guidelines, moral beliefs and principles, that is, the characteristics that husband and wife receive from their parents who are an example for them. From whether all the above conditions coincide with the possibility of a family to move in one direction, to a constructive solution of conflict situations, to its harmonious existence and development.
As a rule, almost none of the above types of family relationships are not found in nature in crystal clear form. So, the characteristic of the traditional family is often mixed by brother-nursing relationships, and co-dependent relationships, it is encountered that the appendices are poisoned by manifestations of tyranny. This naturally complicates the task of a psychologist, who will have to solve the problem of adjusting the relationship of a separate family. Complete, but does not make it impossible. Therefore, for the sake of harmonious and comfortable existence of your relationship, you can and need to contact a competent specialist. As they say, the road is asset going. Therefore, recognizing in your family union alarming signs of disharmony, try to quit all the strength to bring your relationship to the level of happy. Yes, this is not a simple thing, but the game is worth the candle.
