To survive the wipe process, you need to be tolerant to disadvantages of each other, ineistently, strive to understand, be able to talk about problems and hear. Only you can solve problems that do not disappear from the flaking door and care to parents.

In order to find a compromise, you need to know the enemy in the face, i.e. Know the main causes of disputes.

Cause 1: Emotional

Wedding troubles, the celebration itself, honeymoon - all these events are saturated with their impressions. After them, when life enters the usual channel and becomes routine, the spouses comes emotional devastation, apathy and, as a result, irritation and displeasure to each other. New joint goals, hobbies and objectives will avoid this: Repair or expansion of living spaces, moving, traveling in the near future, Birth of a child, steaming yoga, hiking in the pool, dancing, etc.

A frequent problem is to project a parental marriage on his own. The husband is confident that his young spouse is obliged to contain the house or cook delicious worshi, like his mother. And the wife believes that the young spouse is the same master for all the hands, like her father. But this is unreal. All people are different. It is necessary to reconcile with it and love your second half of that which it is.

Cause 2: Life

It is fairly divided by household responsibilities to equally, because they are able to destroy any romance, it is worth sticking to someone's shoulders. Positively affects the relationship joint cooking dinner on a weekend. Be tolerant to each other. Sometimes, if the spouse for some reason cannot bear the garbage, you can do it without hysterics. Or, if the wife did not have time to cook lunch, do not arrange a scandal, and go to the cafe. The main thing is that it was once and did not turn into normal.

Cause 3: Money

Money may well become a stumbling block in your relationship. Before marriage, the spouses spent earned at their discretion. After the wedding there is a need to form a family budget and joint spending, in which each other must be advised.

It is better to immediately discuss the financial side of the question: who is responsible for the obligatory monthly payments, what amount everyone can spend on behalf, agree to jointly make decisions on large purchases, etc.
Whatever grandiose problems did not seem at the beginning of family life, all of them are jointly overcoming love. Go to each other meet and do not forget to give up.

People had to hear the caustic saying "Husband and wife is one Satan." Of course, this is a figurative exaggeration, but many spouses, especially those who have long been married, really begin to remind each other with characters, manners, habits. Therefore, two different people sometimes behave as if they constitute one whole.

Why husband and wife can consider one whole

Marriage is the art of compromise. Wise and loving spouses, passing through the initial difficult period of "tickling characters," learned to avoid conflict situations. If they arise a controversial question, choose intermediate, compromise solutions that are more or less suitable for both sides, that is, come to an agreement. Therefore, the friendly spouses often say that they even think equally. Although in fact, of course, it is not.

In addition, if the marriage is truly happy, based on love and mutual respect, the husband and wife try not only not to upset each other, but also to support everything. Even if one of the spouses understands that the partner was wrong, did not receive in the best way, family solidarity often keeps criticism, disapproval (especially in the presence of extraneous). And on the outside it can impress complete consent, indulging. And people understand the shoulders understandably: well, a clear case, husband and wife are one whole.

In a loving family, her husband and wife care, worry about each other. Problems, the troubles of one of the spouses is experiencing also painfully, like their own. Accordingly, the successes and the achievements of the spouse are genuinely pleasing to his "half". Actually, this is one of the main tasks of marriage: so that the husband and wife always be near, supported each other and in joy, and in adversity. A loving husband, for example, will definitely help his wife in the house or care for a small child so that it is not too tired.

Finally, as a result of a long joint residence and communication, the spouses can take each other some habits, hobbies. And if they have a common interesting hobby, the marriage will become even stronger and happier.

Does my husband and wife can always be "one whole"

All people are different, and families, respectively, too. There are quite a few cases when spouses, even after many years of marriage, retain some distance, in different ways behave in the same situation, often argue, have completely different tastes, habits, hobbies. That is, you can call them "one whole" with a large stretch. Nevertheless, such relationships are completely satisfied with them, and they themselves consider themselves a happy couple.

Of course, if the marriage failed, if the husband and wife regularly conflict, persistently not wanting to make compromises, and the question arises about any "one whole" there can be a speech.

Video on the topic

Marriage is a conscious decision, the desire of two people to pass a hand hand in hand and in the mountain, and in joy. But life makes one, only understandable, adjustments. Unnecessary hopes, betrayal and treason, gossip relatives - a lot of reasons for divorce.

The crisis of the first year of marriage

Probably one of the most difficult stages in the lives of newlyweds - the first year of living together. In essence, everyone buys a cat in a bag. This is a period of wipes when young people recognize each other as close as possible. The differences in views, habits, value guidelines are found and floated. At this time, a desire is shown to change, correct your partner, impose your globalism.

As a rule, this crisis is impossible to avoid. Through it is all married couples. It is a kind of test for the strength of the desire of spouses to create a new cell of society.

This is the most dangerous period - it is fraught with an internal conflict. Each of the partners has already been formed as a person, but for mutual comfort, it is necessary to compromise, change and adapt to the benefit of the family.

Crisis of three years

For together lived several years, a rather stable family relationship. It was after a long stay of the side about the side of people begin to tire from each other: sex no longer brings their former pleasure, weekdays and holidays become monotonous and cyclical.

Learn to balance: it is important to agree and find a compromise with a partner, to understand what you both want from living together, and begin to realize desires, desires for emerging difficulties.

Social crisis of seven years

Of course, seven years - conditional digit. The crisis can happen and much later.

Its essence lies in the distance of the spouses from each other. As a rule, by that time, children are already appearing, both partners have been socially formed: almost all tasks are achieved and implemented both in family life and in the field of self-realization. Either everything went awry, not justifying the expectations that descended in the shower at earlier stages of marriage.

Relationships come in a dead end. This is a new twine in the whirlpool of monotony and monotony.

Crisis of twenty years, or empty nest syndrome

So, children grew up, they have their own life, they do not need to take care of them anymore, i.e. The meaning of the last years of life is lost.

It is at this time that women are young, men are atridges and novels with young mistresses.

Common interests end, everyone lives his life, trying to fill the emptiness formed. It is difficult to live together together, paying attention to only each other without being distracted by external factors. At this stage, it is necessary to spend as much time as possible with the spouse, without cooling various hobbies, household chores and problems at work.