Someone else's soul is darkness. This statement was made many years ago, but it is still incredibly popular because it is very true. Understanding the motives behind another person’s behavior is difficult and sometimes impossible. But if minor offenses can be forgiven, then not all men can imagine how to live after their wife’s betrayal.

Is betrayal a rash step?

It's stupid to believe that a woman who cheated just happened to go to bed with another man. Accidents are always non-random. Why is it that a friend’s wife, who was at a party with your beloved, was able to come home, and your chosen one spent the night with the first person she met? To understand how to live after your wife’s betrayal, you need to find out whether the relationship is accidental. A person is a being who is capable of thinking about his every action, and any developed personality can imagine the consequences of his actions. It’s stupid to think that when a person is intoxicated, he doesn’t know what he’s doing. A drunk person will never do anything that he would not want to do while sober. Moral prejudices and internal prohibitions are triggered in a person in any case, but only if they exist. Therefore, betrayal is never accidental. If the woman didn't want to, she wouldn't have taken such a stupid step. The lady knew perfectly well what would happen if her secret came out. Do not believe the tearful assurances that your chosen one did not know what she was doing. This would be a complete lie.

Is it possible to forgive betrayal

A person is a strong personality who can endure many insults. Many men have forgiven their wives and continued to live with them in a happy marriage for many years. But also a large number of deceived husbands soon broke off the relationship because they could not find the strength to survive the betrayal. Everyone must decide for themselves how to live after their wife’s betrayal. Every family is unique and there is no one-size-fits-all advice. If you love your beloved and understand that without her life will lose meaning, then take your beloved back and try to improve your relationship with her. But keep in mind that the tone before and after the betrayal will always be different. If you understand that the love in the relationship has long passed, and you live as a woman only out of habit, break up. There is no point in tormenting yourself with remorse for the fact that your wife is walking. Frankly admit that the split happened a long time ago, and it is difficult, and sometimes impossible, to glue broken dishes back together.

Find the reason

Any effect has its cause. And betrayal is no exception. Before deciding how to live after your wife’s betrayal, you should find out the motives for the woman’s behavior. Think about why your other half decided to do such a low act? What did the woman lack in you? The most common reason for cheating is a lack of attention from a partner. If you are immersed in work, show up late at home and prefer to relax with friends on weekends rather than spend time with your wife, then it is not surprising that the lady has found a replacement for you. The girl could have cheated simply because she was bored living with her husband. If a man plays computer games in the evenings or watches football and does not talk to his other half, then a woman may decide to have fun in a very perverted way. In search of new sensations, the lady will go to her lover.

Never think that cheating is solely the fault of one partner. If the second person had been more attentive, more courteous, more affectionate and kinder, then the cheating person would not have sought warmth and tenderness on the side.

They cheat on those who deserve it

Did your missus cheat on you? Understand the reason for the woman’s action, and then accept it. At the moment it is difficult to believe that everything that happens in life is a necessary life experience. Regardless of whether a person believes in fate or not, he will receive lessons from the universe every day. Betrayal is one of the challenges that you will have to accept. Such an obstacle does not come across the path of those people who know how to build normal relationships. But selfish people who do not know how to compromise often face betrayal. If a person accepts his wife’s mistake and can understand it, then in the future, life will not give such trials to the person. But if a person cannot accept the lesson of fate the first time, then it will happen again. Be careful and careful. And remember that any life experience is necessary and important.

Everyone makes mistakes

There are no perfect people. Therefore, you should come to terms with the idea that every person has the right to make mistakes. But sometimes the mistakes of loved ones cut to the heart. How to live after The psychologist's advice would be as follows. Accept your wife's wrongdoing and do not blame her for infidelity. Talk to the woman and tell her that two people are to blame for the betrayal. Explain that you understand the reason for her offense and accept it. And you really need to do this. Regardless of the decision you make regarding resumption of a relationship, you need to understand that all mistakes a person makes are not accidental. Wisdom comes to a person over the years. You need to step on a lot of mistakes to understand the price of loyalty and devotion. Perhaps the girl has not yet experienced betrayal in her life, and she does not know how the person who is being cheated suffers. This doesn't mean you need to change in response. This means that you need to convey to the girl the essence of your feelings, and hope that the lady will understand. If the girl remains impartial, then you can safely break off the relationship.

Sorry

How to live after your wife's betrayal and save your family? The psychologist’s advice would be this: forgive your missus. You need not only to forgive the girl in words, but to sincerely feel that you have no anger or indignation left over her offense. Otherwise, sooner or later, a split will occur in your relationship. Think about whether the chosen one is worthy of forgiveness. Have you come to the conclusion that you are worthy? Then every time negative thoughts arise in your head, drive them away. Accept your wife’s actions and understand that she is not the only one to blame for her actions. You also made an effort, pushing your spouse into infidelity. Accept your missus, accept your mistakes, draw conclusions from them and move on. Don't get hung up on the situation and replay it in your head. This will not lead to anything good. It's better to focus on the positive things you get from communicating with your wife.

Let go of the past

Have you decided to forgive the woman? How to live after your wife cheats? The advice of psychologists is always the same: you should let go of the past. The husband must forgive his wife and accept her for who she is. After a stormy reunion, relations quickly improve. But after a few months you will feel a sharp decline in feelings. Doubts and suspicions may creep into your soul. Never express your thoughts to your wife. This will definitely ruin your marriage. After all, it’s not betrayal that kills a relationship, but what happens after it. A person who was able to sincerely forgive his missus will never in his life remind the girl of what happened. Moreover, a person will always have to control himself. And if it is quite easy to do this with a sober consciousness, then the situation can become much more serious at the time of quarrels. In a fit of rage, a person has poor control of his thoughts, and, as a result, his words. Old grievances may come to the surface. Under no circumstances, never in life, should a woman be accused of cheating. A person who was able to survive a difficult period and was able to forgive his missus will never raise the topic of betrayal. It is very painful to hear accusations of old mistakes for which the person has already been forgiven, and which she cannot correct in any way.

Put your relationship on pause

It is not always possible to forgive a person right away. Sometimes it takes time for feelings to subside. A wife's betrayal of her husband is a tragedy for a man. A man with low self-esteem will think that a woman does not take him seriously, since she was able to find another individual who was able to achieve her favor in a short period. A husband who has been cheated on must cut off all contact with his wife for a while. If a woman constantly imposes her company on a man, then the best way to be alone with her thoughts is to take a vacation and go to another city or another country. Don't tell anyone where you went. Then no one can distract you. During your hermitage, recover morally. Think about all the pleasant moments of the relationship, think about the shortcomings that your wife has. Weigh the pros and cons, and only then return home. When you return, tell your wife your decision. If a woman is indignant that you left and did not inform her, you should not remind her of her misconduct. Say that you needed time to understand yourself and understand how to live on.

Correct your mistakes

Have you decided to forgive the woman? How can a man continue to live after his wife cheated on him? No matter how strange it may sound, you need to start changing yourself. Yes, it was you who were cheated on, and you are the injured party. But if you do not reconsider your shortcomings, then the betrayals will be repeated. After finding out the reason for your wife's infidelity, try to give your wife what she was looking for on the side. In order to find out what your missus wants, you need to talk to her honestly. Give your spouse a piece of paper and ask her to write down your strengths and weaknesses on it. You should make a similar list about a woman. And from the next day, start taking action. Take turns eliminating all the shortcomings written by the woman. In response, you should notice that the woman is also working on herself and trying to eradicate from her character what you do not like. This kind of work will help strengthen your marriage and quickly overcome infidelity.

Go to a family psychologist

Is it possible to live after your wife cheats? It is possible, this opinion is confirmed by many men who found themselves in a similar situation. If you cannot understand how to exist after a woman’s betrayal, make an appointment with a psychologist. An experienced specialist will help you understand your feelings and establish peace of mind. If a man has a desire to restore his family, then he needs to sign up for family psychotherapy. Together with the cheating woman, the man will be aware of the problems that exist in the couple. Gradually working on yourself will help people become closer and restore lost trust. The psychologist must explain to the spouses that after the end of therapy, work on oneself should not end. If the couple does not solve problems in time, it will happen again.

Step into the shoes of a woman

In any situation that you don’t like, you need to learn to put yourself in the shoes of the person who is causing irritation. How to live after your wife cheats? The husband needs to think about how his wife lives. Only then will a man be able to understand how hard it is for his wife. For example, this situation is not uncommon. A child who has turned 16 tries to distance himself from his parents and is rarely at home. A husband who is going through a midlife crisis tries to work more in order to have time to build a career. And the woman has nothing left. She's lonely sitting at home. It is often impossible to get together with friends. Women prefer family gatherings. The lady is bored and lonely. She cannot reach her husband, so she is looking for a lover who will help her have fun while away her free time.

Cool your ardor a little

How to move on after your wife cheats? A man must forgive a woman, but at the same time, there is no point in pretending that everything is fine. The girl must feel remorse, and she must understand that she greatly hurt the person who loves her. Therefore, a man should cool his ardor towards his wife a little. Even if you are madly in love with your wife, try to keep yourself in check. Temporarily, do not buy flowers or give gifts to a woman. Spend time together, but be a little more distant than usual. A woman will perceive such coldness as a kind of alienation, and she herself will make a lot of efforts to heal your crippled heart. But it’s not worth torturing your spouse for long. Otherwise, the woman may think that you have forgiven her only in words. Therefore, after a few months, you can resume your normal life.

How to live after your wife cheats? The advice that your friends will give you is worth listening to, but you should be guided by your own feelings. Friends will discourage you from reconnecting. Cheating is a shame for a man, and not everyone can endure such humiliation. But strong personalities know how to forgive.

How to live after your wife cheats at 50? Try to accept your spouse's wrongdoing. Most likely, she wanted variety after a long family life. Eliminate routine from life. And don't tell anyone about your family drama. The fewer people involved in your relationship, the stronger it will be.

Betrayal is a great tragedy, and often men have to think about how to survive your wife's betrayal, Don’t get depressed and completely give up on your relationship.

Causes and psychology of female infidelity

Why do women cheat?

It would seem that there is a family, perhaps children, a loved one nearby.

What pushes you to betrayal? Psychologists and sociologists have identified several main reasons why ladies decide to cheat:

Whatever the reasons, before making a responsible decision, you must seriously consider the consequences and your own actions.

How to return your wife's love? Find out about this from ours.

10 reasons why women cheat. Psychology of female infidelity:

Is it possible to survive betrayal and forget?

Cheating on your spouse is stress for husband.

It is immediately difficult to understand and evaluate the motives for an action. It seems that the whole world has turned upside down, a loved one has betrayed, and there is no justification for this.

Is it possible to survive this? Yes, It's not easy at first. There is a feeling of anger, indignation, resentment. You don't want to understand, you can't forgive. This is the first stage of reaction to a situation of betrayal; all people go through it.

After time it becomes easier. Much depends on how the spouses resolved this situation, whether they talked, and whether they found out the motives for the action.

Often both partners are to blame for what happened - the woman who decided to cheat and the husband who did not see the signals that later led to the act.

It is possible to survive betrayal. First of all, this working on your own condition. If depression occurs, you need to fight it. If anger and aggression are ready to spill out, you need to find a way to stop so as not to harm yourself and other people.

The main thing in this matter is are you ready to forgive and forget about what happened, are you ready to trust again. It is important to understand that the relationship will no longer be the same. The love that was before will not return.

No matter how hard you try to forget, the accomplished fact will forever remain in your memory. Yes, the brightness of the event will be erased, emotions will become weaker.

You may never talk about it again, and the betrayal will never happen again. However, small the mistrust between you will remain, and the wife has a feeling of guilt.

A strong couple is able to survive the fact of betrayal, learn from it and not make similar mistakes again. But it all depends on both spouses and their sincere desires maintain and improve relationships.

How to survive your spouse's betrayal? Psychologist's opinion:

How to live further?

We have come to one of the most important questions - how to survive betrayal. A lot depends on your relationship, the presence of sincere and affection.

The duration of the union also matters - the event occurred in the first or second year of marriage or after 10 or more years. In some couples, cheating is a release.

If your union has long outlived its usefulness, then sooner or later there must have been a reason for it to break completely. Review your recent time together and answer the questions:

• “Were you satisfied with the relationship?”;
• “How did you communicate with each other?”;
• “What were you missing?”;
• “Were you both ready to work on the relationship, to maintain it?”

These questions are important for understanding yourself and the other side.

What to do to survive betrayal?

1. Understand the reason for the action. In this case, the best way is a heart-to-heart conversation.
2. In any problem, with rare exceptions, both partners are to blame. It is not enough to get married and just live nearby. You need to work on relationships, learn to compromise, not only take, but also give.
3. To know, does the wife repent of what she did?, does she want to continue living together, does she consider cheating a mistake.
4. Try to ask. This is the most difficult thing. To forgive means to let go of the situation, not to return to it again, not to reproach during the next family quarrel.

   Forgiveness is an internal state of the psyche, and not everyone is able to achieve it.

Each family individually experiences the fact of betrayal. And the decision on what to do is made based on whether the spouses want to continue living together.

Is it worth forgiving?

How to forgive a wife who cheated?

Forgiveness is your inner state, willingness to let go.

Men often ask themselves the question: is it really possible to forgive their spouse’s betrayal? In many ways, the ability to do this depends on the qualities of your soul and character traits.

For someone it is impossible to forgive betrayal, this breaking the relationship forever and irrevocably. Another, loving too much, forgives and is even ready to save the marriage.

You will have to decide what is important to you, whether you want to stay close to this person and not remember the action.

Forgiveness is long work on yourself and your feelings. It doesn't come immediately. And these are not only words, but an internal state, a decision. Of course, you can forgive betrayal if you want and are ready to do it.

Is it necessary and possible to forgive the betrayal of my beloved wife? In this video:

How to understand your spouse and save your marriage?

The desire must be mutual. If one of the partners has decided that everything is over, there is no point in insisting. In this case, the best way out is to give freedom.

How to help a man whose wife left him for another man? Practical tips:

I can’t come to terms: what should I do?

You have a conflict with yourself - you understand how wrong a loved one acted, and you still experience resentment.

Every day your thoughts return to the day when you found out about the betrayal. This again intensifies negative emotions, and memory does not let you forget.

1. Try to control your thoughts and stop them. As soon as you start thinking about cheating, say stop.
2. If you cannot forget, it means that the situation has not been fully processed.
3. Go to a family psychologist, it’s better to do it together.

If your attitudes and character do not allow you to completely forgive, then think about whether you really should live together.

Unresolved situation ultimately leads to new conflicts and accusations.

Relationships will continue to break down. In some cases, ending a relationship and starting a new life is the most optimal solution for both spouses.

How to survive your wife's betrayal? Priest's opinion:

Your wife cheated on you….. Yes, this happens. Both women and men cheat, and there is no discovery in this. Unless for you, who did not expect this, this really can be a revelation. So what to do then? How to live on if your wife cheated?

How does this happen?

Everyone knows perfectly well how betrayal occurs, or rather, what it consists of. It’s just that another man appeared in your wife’s life and behaved in such a way that it made her forget about honor and cheat on her husband.

What could it be? Psychologists identify the following reasons that most often force women to decide on this:

You should definitely pay attention to whether she regrets it or not. If you both want to save the relationship, then the first step, getting rid of the lies, has already been taken. Next is your turn. Forgive your wife or break off the relationship? You can’t make this decision rashly, you need to think carefully and weigh everything.

First aid

First of all, don't lose your head. Don't throw a tantrum, don't break dishes, and don't raise your hand to your wife. When you learn this terrible news, don’t act out of your hand: listen to your beloved woman, ask what happened and what is the reason for it. Perhaps you are the problem, perhaps not. In any case, don't panic. Try setting yourself up like this:

Of course, if after a long analysis you realized that you cannot forgive this person, then only time can help.

Okay, you've calmed your nerves, listened to your wife, and are ready for the hardest part—the analysis. Answer a few questions first:

1. Why did your wife cheat on you? Perhaps she lacked attention, was offended, or simply wanted revenge for something? Maybe she has long been bored with family life with you, and she is looking for a way to start over?
2. Do you need it? Think: what if this is a completely natural result, and you actually deserve to be cheated on? There is no need to keep a family just for the sake of children or so as not to be alone. This is wrong and will do more harm than good.

If a woman is torn between two men, do not rush to judge her for it. Who told you that you should give up your wife without a fight? Prove to her that you can still make her happy!

How to forgive a woman?

This is good if you have decided not to get a divorce and not to destroy your relationship, if you have defeated your opponent and are left alone with your wife. However, you must agree that the wound received after betrayal will not go away soon. How to get rid of it? How to make the relationship become trusting again?

The first thing you need to understand is that someone close to you would not give you such a “surprise” without any reason. Of course, of course, if you haven’t noticed her sadistic tendencies before. Think about what forced your wife to commit such an act, and after that, delve deeper into the analysis of your own actions. Of course, admitting to yourself that you did something wrong and that your behavior was not ideal is not so easy, but you will have to take it for granted. None of us are perfect, and everyone makes mistakes, including you. Find the root of the whole problem and then everything else will fall into place.

Of course, you should not take revenge and cheat on your wife in return. Firstly, such behavior does not honor you, and secondly, playing “tit for tat” is obviously a failure. Yes, and betrayal will not remove the stone from your soul, will not correct all the mess in your life, and certainly will not leave a pleasant aftertaste in the heart of the third person involved in your family problems.

Good luck! Stay strong!

One of the sayings of the famous French writer Francois de La Rochefoucauld says:

There are no women who cheated once - there are women who never cheated

And qualified psychologists say that men endure adultery much harder than women. What to do if an inexhaustible source of jokes and anecdotes knocks on your door? How to survive your wife's betrayal and forget about the betrayal of your beloved? A man is a hunter, he is used to being a breadwinner, and the woman next to him must obediently wait for her husband and keep the home. If suddenly someone unnecessary interferes in the family idyll, this deals a serious blow to male pride.

In such a difficult situation, professional advice from a psychologist is required. Men in the heat of resentment can do a lot of stupid things and commit rash actions, the consequences of which sooner or later they will have to regret. According to statistics, 90% of adultery comes to light, but only 30% of them lead to divorce. In other cases, husbands show nobility and benevolence, preferring to forgive the cheater and save the family.

It can be very difficult for a person to deal with banal family troubles on his own. And when it comes to betrayal and infidelity, the advice of a psychologist is priceless and irreplaceable. Men do not need to neglect the professional recommendations of specialists.

• Stop blaming yourself!

Most men who find out about adultery blame themselves for what happened. This is a misconception. Even if the husband is far from ideal, lies on the couch all day, does not perform household duties and pays too little attention to his wife, it is still not his fault. Cheating was a conscious choice of a woman, determined by her character and personal preferences. Placing responsibility for other people's actions on your shoulders is wrong. It is equally wrong to blame an unfaithful spouse for everything. You should free yourself from painful thoughts and stop driving yourself into a psychological hole in the difficult search for those to blame. This system has proven itself very well for getting rid of painful thoughts.

• Take a pause

Don't rush and don't get excited. In the heat of passion, people make many mistakes. Give yourself time to calm down and put your feelings in order. Be alone with your thoughts, think about whether you want to forgive your spouse or whether advice on how to survive your wife’s betrayal is inappropriate.

It is worth noting that forgiveness is needed for oneself. Unforgiveness is poison for the soul and carrying it is not only humiliating (for yourself), but also extremely harmful. Naturally, forgiveness does not exclude divorce, because the situation of the situation is discord.

It doesn’t matter what decision is made, the main thing is to restore emotional balance. Subsequently, we will have to return to important issues more than once. But at that moment, time will pass, the feelings will cool down, the pain will subside and you will look at the situation from a different angle. In any case, when making the final verdict, remember the saying of the Indian politician Mahatma Gandhi: “The ability to forgive is a property of the strong. The weak never forgive."

• Don't avoid conversations with your spouse

Talk to your wife and find out the motives for her behavior. As a rule, women do not decide to commit adultery out of sporting interest. They don't change just like that. Most likely, she was pushed to this act by mental anguish and emotional dissatisfaction. Try to pacify your anger and ask your significant other to talk about the reasons for the betrayal. This is important to do, even if the man has decided not to forgive his wife. You definitely need to have a frank conversation.

The couple will go to different apartments, but the feeling of resentment and pain from the betrayal of their loved one will remain. Therefore, dialogue is simply necessary for a normal life in the future. But you can’t turn the conversation into another quarrel about unwashed dishes and scattered socks. If the atmosphere becomes tense and the conversation goes in a different direction, you should stop and postpone the conversation for a certain time. Psychologists believe that 3-4 conversations may be needed to resolve a situation with adultery, and the period required to forget the betrayal is 2-3 years. Therefore, men who want to save their family should be patient.

• When changing your wife, change yourself

Try to put yourself in the place of your lover. How is it better? What does he have that you don’t? Why did she choose him? Take a step towards your wife, change your behavior, clear your mind. Psychologically, women are designed in such a way that first they cheat with their souls and only then with their bodies. By opening her heart to another man, the wife leaves the control of her husband and completely immerses her mind and consciousness in the power of her lover. A man should try to understand and feel his woman. It is necessary to give her exactly what she has been missing for many years. It is important to open your feelings, to show your wife that she is still desired and loved. The woman who is treated kindly and adored is unlikely to want to look for new sensations on the side.

Many men, after getting married, stop paying attention to their wives: compliments, flowers, signs of attention. And in the meantime, no matter how old a woman is, they all madly love and appreciate it. Isn't this what they like in a new relationship with their lover?

• Think of cheating as a kind of disease

Only the disease is not physical, but spiritual. A lover is a virus, a husband is a cure. The more hugs and kisses the legal spouse gives, the sooner the impostor’s spell will weaken. But don't do it obsessively or with a sense of necessity. It should come from the heart - women feel very well. To do this, start looking for what you like about it. If everything is done correctly, the woman will “dissolve” in her husband and forget about her lover. Continuous bodily contact will continue with the unity of souls. And then, when the couple feels like one, mutual understanding will come. But in order to awaken faded feelings and return love, you need to gain strength and be patient, learn to trust each other and start living in a new way.

• Imagine your life without your wife

Imagine that when you return home you do not find the woman you love there. The common joys and little things have disappeared somewhere. There are no more family traditions and holidays. Imagine what hurts more: a blow to a man’s pride or the loss of a loved one. Psychologists say that for many of their patients it is easier to survive insult and pain than to part with a loved one forever. But don’t persuade the woman, don’t ask her to come back. Do not lure your wife with beautiful promises and under no circumstances bribe your wife with gifts. Don’t forget that they love you for no reason, but just because. A wife should love her husband, and not feel pity for him. Act unobtrusively, without threats or coercion - this in itself attracts.

• Dmitry, 28 years old, website co-author

At one time, it helped me a lot. The invaluable recommendations of the author of this system, on writing out and processing according to this system, all the emerging mental material, gave not only relief, but also the situation turned in a completely unexpected way (positively)... In general, we build our reality with our thoughts and very often, resolution at the mental level, solves the problem at the everyday level.

But this system is for a comprehensive cleansing of the mind and should be started only if you want to get rid of: negative emotions, complexes, limiting ideas and beliefs, negative attitudes and other mental garbage. By the way, in the process of elaboration, the face was transformed - there is a connection between the inner world and the person’s face.

• Konstantin, 35 years old, programmer

It seems to me that betrayal does not hurt so much if you are mentally prepared for it. Of course, it is much easier to blindly trust your wife and not fill your head with obsessive thoughts. But life is a complicated thing, anything can happen in it. You need to calculate your moves ahead and think through all possible scenarios. And in general, everyone has the right to make mistakes.

• Igor, 47 years old, individual entrepreneur

In the modern world, marriages often break up due to the infidelity of one of the spouses. The institution of family has lost its value. I think it’s wrong to end a marriage because of one ridiculous act. I felt sorry for destroying what had been built for many years. I was not going to give my wife to some lover who came from nowhere, who did absolutely nothing for my woman. Men, do not cut down at the root and do not burn bridges behind you, no matter how painful and offensive it may be. My family has been restored, and yours will certainly be reborn from the ashes.

• Andrey, 29 years old, manager

I didn't know how to get over my wife's betrayal. Life turned upside down. I couldn’t find a place for myself, I couldn’t drink or eat. But after a few weeks, my attitude towards the current situation changed. I realized that what happened was also my fault. After eight years of marriage, it began to seem to me that no one except me needed a spouse. I stopped giving my wife gifts and compliments; I preferred friendly gatherings at the bar to evenings with my family.

My woman found the missing emotions in the arms of another man. Oddly enough, I am to some extent grateful to my opponent. After all, if it weren’t for the betrayal, my wife and I would simply get divorced and forget about each other. And so, our feelings received a good shake-up. All of this was a great lesson for both of us. We prefer not to remember the betrayal anymore, we spend a lot of time together and try not to forget about such concepts as love, loyalty and understanding.

A woman's perspective on men's problems

Despite the fact that the symbol of male horns is a woman, in this situation one cannot do without a female gaze. Representatives of the fair sex know firsthand what kind of actions forgotten wives expect from their husbands. Their advice on how to survive your wife’s betrayal may be more useful than advice from experienced psychologists:

• Valeria, 28 years old, sales consultant

I cheated on my husband for several years. Almost from the first days of marriage, quarrels, reproaches, and scandals began. We separated and came together again, ran in circles, tormented ourselves and the children. My lover was my outlet. But after some time I realized that I loved my husband and did not want to leave. After long and difficult conversations, we decided to continue living together. It took a lot of effort and effort to believe in the sincerity of our feelings and establish good relationships, but now understanding reigns in our family.

• Natalya, 42 years old, notary

I am a successful woman who knows her worth. Recently, my husband not only stopped paying attention to me, but began to assure me of my inadequacy and unattractiveness. To my husband’s surprise, there was someone who appreciated my beauty. Our family happiness was saved by pangs of conscience on my part and recognition of mistakes on my husband’s part. I advise men to cherish their woman and appreciate the time spent next to her.

• Christina, 34 years old, housewife

In family relationships, I did not dare to commit adultery, but I was on the verge of it. I don’t know what saved me, but it was unpleasant for my husband to learn that I was one step away from betrayal. Despite the contradictory nature of the situation, our family life began to improve. To prevent wives from having a desire to pay attention to other men, spouses should do unexpected things for women, give gifts for no reason and give compliments. You need to admire your wife, and then she will idolize her husband.

If betrayal does occur, you need to come to terms with what happened. You need to understand that time will not turn back and what happened will remain what happened. All that can be done is to work on the mistakes. And how to live further: to return lost love or start from scratch is up to each deceived husband to decide for himself.

How to survive your wife's betrayal

23.12.2016

Snezhana Ivanova

Betrayal by a loved one unsettles a person, deprives him of moral strength, and makes him experience colossal mental pain.

The betrayal of one spouse is always extremely painful for the other. By cheating, people usually mean physical infidelity. If we consider the issue of treason as such, it turns out that each person puts his own ideas into this concept. For some, it consists of a reluctance to spend time together. In any case, betrayal necessarily unsettles the person, deprives him of his moral strength, and makes him experience colossal mental pain. Adultery usually means adultery, even if it is committed only once. You cannot envy anyone who has experienced betrayal by a loved one. Effective advice from a psychologist may be needed for those who are desperate and do not see a way out of the current situation. , survive your wife’s betrayal and not fall into the abyss? The following recommendations will help you understand yourself and restore peace of mind.

Every action needs its own reasons. Cheating on your wife is no exception to the general rule. It must be said that men perceive their spouse’s infidelity much more painfully. In such a situation, they lose self-confidence and begin to blame themselves. It seems to them that something serious and irreparable threatens their life and well-being. Cheating on your wife is a serious reason to think about your life, reconsider relationships, and remember your values.

If there is infidelity, it means that the woman was not satisfied with something in the relationship. Feelings are extremely important for a woman, which a man, unfortunately, cannot always correctly understand and accept. When a wife does not receive enough attention from her chosen one, she can find such a relationship on the side. It is worth remembering that it is extremely important for a woman to be listened to and understood. Unfortunately, men do not always realize this.

Another reason for systematic betrayal is the character traits of a particular person. Unfortunately, there are flighty women for whom it is not enough to experience attention only from their spouse. They strive to demonstrate their superiority to the world in everything. Such a woman often seeks the attention of men and is very happy about their mutual affection.

Get rid of guilt

Quite often, in a situation where a wife’s infidelity becomes an obvious fact, decent husbands begin to look for the reason for her behavior in themselves. They don't know what to do and are completely confused and desperate. Feelings of guilt arise after the betrayal of a beloved woman. It seems that the world is collapsing right before our eyes and nothing can be done about it. Competent advice from a psychologist is to help a person get rid of feelings of guilt. This is a negative factor that destroys an already difficult relationship in a couple.

How to help yourself in this situation? A man should understand that betrayal, unfortunately, has become the choice of his soulmate. It is impossible to deny it, just as it is impossible to endlessly deceive yourself. For some reason, the wife did not look for complex ways to improve relationships, but decided to follow the path of least resistance. You should accept what has already happened. You cannot turn back time, reach a state of calm when you were not yet aware of what had happened. Don't torment yourself needlessly with doubts and fears. Let go of the guilt. Understand that you were not the one who acted destructively in this situation. The person who resorted to treason must understand why he needs it. Sometimes it happens that the wife is not going to tell the truth. But it's still worth trying to talk. Sometimes it is enough to solve some old problems for relationships to begin to improve.

Take a break

After the betrayal has become known, it is best to give yourself time to cool down and calm down a little. Why is such a pause necessary? If this is not done, there is a high probability that the deceived spouse will lose his balance. In a fit of anger, you can say a lot of insulting words to each other, take rash steps, which in the end will inevitably lead the couple to separation. If you really find it difficult to control yourself, and the situation is heating up, it is better to limit direct contact with a loved one for a while. This is why many husbands are in a hurry to leave home. You can stay with friends for a while. This will give you the opportunity to calm down and carefully think through the sequence of subsequent actions. Take your time, give yourself a chance to use the situation for the benefit of both of you. In most cases, this problem can be solved. Cheating does not mean that the relationship is over. It forces spouses to look at themselves and their significant other in a new way, to rethink something. Betrayal as a fact indicates that close people have become distant and have ceased to understand each other. It doesn’t even occur to happy couples to look to strangers for consolation or entertainment. Relationships on the side are just a way to relax and relieve emotional stress. Unfortunately, not everyone realizes in time the error of their chosen method.

Talk about what happened

When the necessary pause has been taken after the fact of betrayal, you need to think especially carefully about how to live further. No one can take this important and serious step for you. How to survive betrayal? Don't run away from the problem. You must understand that it is unlikely to resolve on its own. Be sure to talk to your significant other about what happened. If you let your emotions subside, and did not start to sort things out right away, with screams and scandals, there is a chance of achieving quite good results. Conversations will help you free yourself from oppressive feelings of guilt, pain and despair. During the conversation, try not to blame, not to look for flaws in your partner, but to analyze what your behavior or the needs of your partner led to this outcome. It is best to conduct the conversation in the form of questions and answers, but they should not resemble an interrogation. Drop the blame, at least for a while, and see how much easier it will be for both of you. The form of open monologue is welcomed, when the husband reveals to his wife the full depth of his inner experiences about how to survive her betrayal. Do not hesitate to express your own feelings, make it clear that you are very suffering and worried.

Understand that if you hush up the problem, you will not solve it. The deceived partner will mentally return to this situation all his life and feel extremely unhappy. If the significant reasons for the betrayal are not discussed in time, the resentment may remain for a long time. And this in no way contributes to preserving the marriage and strengthening the relationship.

Thus, a wife’s betrayal is an unpleasant event that should push the husband to think about living together and the ability to understand his other half.