Increasingly, modern women are faced with a situation where their husband does not want to work.

This suits some, and such ladies themselves are happy to provide for their families. Others, on the contrary, are unhappy with this position of the spouse.

Wives try by any means to force their faithful to earn money, insult him and threaten with divorce. Should I take such measures?

How to do it right, and what to do when a loved one does not want to work, the advice of a psychologist will tell.

Why do men not want to work?

If your man does not work and is not going to do this in the future, perhaps he belongs to one of the suggested types of the stronger sex:

• Sissy.
• Narcissistic narcissist.
• Slow-witted.
• Misanthrope.
• Melancholic.

Each group of men has their own reasons and excuses to do nothing. And if a woman in one of them found signs of her husband’s behavior, she should act in accordance with the advice of a psychologist.

1. If your husband turned out to be “mother’s son”

Then you should know that next to you is a weak-minded man who does not want to be responsible for the well-being of the family. Such a man from early childhood has become accustomed to the fact that everyone takes care of him and does all the work for him.

The wife will always be satisfied with a well-earned wife, not sawing him for idleness. Excessive love of parents reinforced in him the conviction that he was not obliged to do anything to solve pressing problems.

Mamenkin's son believes that everything that happens around him does not apply. And if difficulties have arisen in the material plane, the wife should solve them.

Correcting such a man is quite difficult, because his position has been formed since childhood. But if you nevertheless decided to influence him, listen to such advice from a psychologist:

1. Emphasize the importance of your husband more often, say how reliable you are and how good it is that you can count on him in difficult situations.
2. Remind him periodically with regret that if he worked, your family would have much more opportunities.
3. In no case, do not insult your spouse. This will cause him to protest, and in spite he will not do anything.

If a man "sissy" really loves and appreciates you, your actions will awaken the earner in him, and he will soon begin to search for a profitable place.

2. With a daffodil it will be more difficult

Such a man has an extremely high self-esteem. He considers himself a very valuable and intelligent employee who can only occupy senior positions. But his superpowers are often just words.

Basically, daffodils not only overestimate their capabilities, but are generally not able to do quality work. In any case, they look for flaws, explaining their failures. Therefore, such men can often be seen on the couch, in the expectation that the lucrative offer will find them itself.

It would seem that the situation is hopeless, and the wife will not succeed in getting the “narcissus” to work. But the advice of a psychologist gives her a chance to change her husband's beliefs.

To do this, you have to learn to limit your husband in the pleasures received through material wealth. Tell him that you have problems at work, and your salary will be lower than usual for some time.

In this regard, the purchase is canceled new clothes, tasty dinners and beer on weekends. A man in love with himself will not be able to refuse these pleasant things, and will think about finding his own earnings.

3. If your husband is "slow-witted"

Then you have to be patient and direct your energy to intensify its actions.

The fact is that a slow man will be determined for a long time, what kind of work he should choose, and whether it is worth taking the proposed place. Often such thoughts result in a loss of time, and the employment of a completely different person.

In such a situation, you must do everything in order to push your loved one to quickly make a decision.

• Describe to him all the advantages of the proposed work.
• Say that he is a wonderful specialist, and it's time to realize yourself.
• Make plans for the future, given that the husband will work in the proposed place.

Your actions will push your spouse to make an important decision.

4. For the misanthropic man, the reason for not wanting to work is much deeper.

It is not the work itself that scares him, but the need to communicate with people. This type of men has certain difficulties in the team. It is not easy for him to maintain everyday conversations, take part in discussions, and defend his opinion.

Misanthropes are usually not liked in collectives, not understanding their true feelings and intentions. Suspicion and hermitage lead to the fact that they have to leave their posts without explaining the reasons for their action.

If the husband does not want to work because of his isolation, the wife can look for alternative labor options for him. Today, more and more companies are working on the principle of remote work.

In this case, your husband will not have to be in the team all day, his workplace will be at home. This can be mental work performed on a computer, as well as physical or creative activity, the result of which can be various useful things.

5. The melancholy husband

This type is so sensitive that previous failures at work can generally discourage him from doing anything at a very for a long time. Sometimes these men even resort to the help of a psychologist. But again, their beloved spouse can make them believe in themselves.

To do this, you must surround your husband with care and affection. You also need to raise his self-esteem.

• Praise your spouse for any reason.
• Admire his decisions.
• And do not scold for minor mistakes.

Believing in himself, he will be able to find work much better than thatthat I had lost before.

If your spouse is one of the proposed types of men, try to clearly follow the advice of a psychologist. Following these recommendations, you will soon notice changes in the behavior of the husband.

At the same time, do not rush or reproach your beloved. The result of your efforts will be a decent job for him and well-being in family relationships. Author: Vera Fractional

The desire for equality played a trick on the weaker sex. Together with the desired women got into the load and pampered men trying to avoid the burden of problems associated with the material support of the family.

Moreover, young people are not confused by this state of affairs, even if the wife is in maternity leave or simply earns little. In a difficult situation that has developed in the family when the husband does not work, the advice of the psychologist will help to put everything on the shelves and will help to share responsibility for the well-being of the family at least equally among all its members.

Justification can be found for everything, including the man’s unwillingness to work and support his own family. Psychologists have identified a separate list of reasons for explaining this behavior of the stronger sex. Rather, these are not even reasons, but types of men who have these characteristics:

• alphonse or narcissistic egoist. A person who is used to living only with his desires, interests and does not try to adapt to the rhythm of life that does not correspond to his ideas;
• mother's son. Everything is clear here, based on the type name. A child of great age, spoiled by excessive parental care and care, completely unsuitable for life's realities and unwilling to assume any obligations for the maintenance of anyone, including himself;
• sloth. Such a man is characterized by laziness by nature, the habit of living at the expense of others, without bothering himself with worries about his daily bread;
• unsociable or misanthrope. The main problem of this representative of the stronger sex is the reluctance to communicate with other people, regardless of the topic of the conversation - workers, personal - he is completely not interested. Comfortable young man only in its territory, where it is not necessary to contact colleagues at work;
• melancholic. Very susceptible to criticism. The slightest failure, trouble can permanently discourage the desire to work anywhere. He is constantly in a state of concern for any reason.

If a woman saw any of the above symptoms in her husband’s behavior, then the right decision would be to turn to a psychologist specializing in problems of this kind.

It is unlikely that it will be possible to independently resolve the situation, often the root of evil lies deep enough and it is better to get professional help than to test your nervous system for strength.

What you should not do if your husband is a parasite

Depending on what kind of psychotype the loafing spouse belongs to, and family relationships aimed at restoring justice will develop - the parasite will turn into a hard worker and earner.

In communication with the sissy, psychologists advise the wife to be patient - after all, the manner of behavior was laid in such a man from childhood and then it will take time to change the situation exactly the opposite. So, the recommendations of specialists to women in a situation if the husband does not want to work:

• never, under any circumstances, demand anything from a man, especially on elevated tones. The opposite effect will work - in protest, he will refuse to fulfill the request flatly;
• constantly praise even the slightest achievement at work, emphasizing the importance of his salary for the family budget;
• from time to time, with notes of regret in his voice, to say that if the husband worked, then you could let him go somewhere to relax or plan a major purchase for the house. To hint that in this case there would be more opportunities to fulfill the desires of all family members.

With a certain persistence and sincere, tender feelings of spouses towards each other, the result will not be long in coming. A man can become not the nominal, but the actual head of the family.

A selfish husband will have to be fought with slightly different methods. Since this type is not used to denying himself anything the best way will reduce its content, justifying this by the fact that the salary was cut, and it will not be enough even for the most necessary.

It is unlikely that a spoiled male will want to deprive himself of his usual pleasures. Most likely, this will lead to the fact that he still forces himself, his beloved, to go to work in order to return to his previous, comfortable standard of living. For a man for whom it is problematic to be in the office, communicate with colleagues, build working relationships in direct contact with other people, freelance work will be an excellent way out of this situation.

Remote work will help to resolve material issues regarding the maintenance of the family, and remain a sought-after specialist. A person in whose behavior there are obvious signs characteristic of a melancholic person needs long-term assistance based on the constant praise of his achievements and decisions.

In no case should not be allowed in relation to him a single gram of criticism or discontent. Otherwise, everything will return to normal and will have to start the rehabilitation process again.

How to do the right thing

Women are a patient and compassionate people. Unbearable burdens and worries about the family are being put on their shoulders, if only all the households would be full, warm, comfortable.

There are men who are quite satisfied with the current situation, and they do not intend to change it. But the moment of enlightenment nevertheless comes, and the spouse realizes that she cannot go on like this. To begin with, a woman tries to persuade her husband to stop messing around and get a job.

Moreover, she often looks for suitable vacancies, writes a resume and sends them to potential employers, not even shy to accompany her sweetheart for interviews. In rare cases, this tactic works, and the man becomes the main earner in the family, allowing the fragile woman to return to her original duties as the guardian of the home.

But, as practice shows, this does not always happen, and here practical recommendations are already required to achieve the desired results in changing the psychology in the minds of the stronger sex.

In this video, the psychologist will tell you how to make your husband work:

Having listened to the advice of a specialist, a woman is able, by virtue of her sincere feelings for her husband, to cope with the problem that has arisen, without causing him constant tantrums. A loving spouse will be able to arrange the matter so that the man will think that he, well done, got out of a series of failures without outside help. Such an approach to an unhealthy situation in the family and ways to solve it will be the most correct. What do you think?

Sometimes women have to face the fact that the husband does not work and does not bring any income. Well, if these are temporary difficulties, and he is in search of work. But often it happens that a man is not going to look for a job, even if his wife is pregnant or is on maternity leave. In this situation, the spouse has a question, how to make a man work. You need to act on the basis of its psychological type.

The most common reasons why a man does not want to work include the following:

• A person prefers to live at someone else's expense. This category is commonly called gigolos. They fall in love with women who can support them. If such a candidate is met, then it is practically impossible to get him to work. It is easier for him to find a new source of income in the person of a woman than to search for work himself.
• A man is waiting for the "finest hour". This applies to people in the creative profession (writers, musicians, scientists). The husband does not want to work, as he is waiting for the moment when success will come to him himself. The husband wants to do something that will significantly change the world.
• Laziness. The spouse will put off searching for work day after day, because he likes to while away time in front of the TV, enjoying a cold beer, or spend leisure time in any other way.
• Bad experience. Refusal to look for work can be associated with negativity at the previous place of activity, due to which the man has lost faith in himself.
• No job in the specialty. It is difficult for a spouse to find a profession in the specialty that he received at the university.

Psychology of men and job search

Depending on the psychology of the man, he will have a different attitude to work.

Husband - “Mom’s Son”

Such men from childhood have become accustomed to being patronized and doing all the work for them. Great parental love reinforced in the guy the conviction that he should not independently decide anything in life. Correcting such a man will be difficult. The wife should adhere to the advice of psychologists:

• constantly highlight the importance of a loved one, say how reliable he is, that only you can count on him in a difficult situation;
• to carefully remind the spouse that if he had a job, the family would have more opportunities to pamper themselves and their children;
• it is strictly forbidden to insult her husband, as he will begin to protest and will act in spite.

If the “mother’s son” loves his spouse, these tips will help awaken the earner in him, as a result of which the man will look for work.

Husband - "Daffodil"

This type is characterized by excessive self-esteem, so he sees himself only in leadership positions. But his skills are manifested only in words, but in fact he is not able to perform the work efficiently. Therefore, such men sit out at home in anticipation of when they receive some promising offer.

The wife needs to limit her beloved in the pleasures that he receives thanks to money. Suffice it to say that there are problems at work, and the salary will be significantly lower than usual. Therefore, it is not possible to acquire new things, eat well, and afford an active holiday. A narcissistic man will not be able to give up his usual life and will think about ways to earn money.

Spouse - "slow-witted"

In order to force such a man to act, it is necessary to have patience, since a slow spouse will be determined for a long time with the place of activity. Most often, this leads to the fact that promising work is offered to another person.

The wife needs to push her husband to a quick decision:

• indicate the advantages of the proposed position;
• to say that he is an excellent specialist, so the period has come to realize himself;
• make plans for the future, implying that the spouse will work.

Misanthrope Man

Such men are not afraid of work itself, but of the need for interaction with society, so they sit at home. It is difficult for this type of people to participate in discussions, make decisions, and maintain everyday conversations.

A man should look for alternative ways to earn money, for example, such as remote work. Then the spouse will not need to be among people, he will be able to engage in any activity at home.

Spouse - melancholic

This is an impressive type of men who for a long time can not get a job, experiencing previous failures. The main task of the wife is to make her beloved believe in herself, to increase his self-esteem. To do this, a man needs to be surrounded with affection, care, praise for any reason, admire him, not scold for petty blunders.

The spouse's lack of work and regular stay in the walls of the house are common causes of family disorder, which invariably lead to divorce. In this situation, the wife is in an unenviable position, who needs to not only take care of the children, prepare food, clean up the apartment and wash dirty things, but also support the family. In some love unions there is a shift in responsibilities, but similar circumstances suit both spouses.

In marriages where everything falls into fragile female shoulders, after a short period of time, disorder necessarily appears. The fiancee asks urgent questions: What if the husband does not want to work? How to change the spouse’s worldview? What are some ways you can influence your husband? Where is the reason for this behavior hidden?

A woman who is in a long relationship with a man has the right to establish certain obligations and rules in the family.

A guy should not only pay attention to his wife, but also support his family, strive to improve living conditions, improve his own skills, etc.

Prerequisites for evading a man from work

To solve the problem by changing the usual course of events, it is important to correctly diagnose the causes that affect a man’s behavior:

• The partner considers himself a genius who is not recognized by society. Working in ordinary work involving physical exertion is a matter of people deprived of the mind, and he was born to do things on a global scale. Only a guy does not have a chance to show his own skills and talents for a long period of time.
• A man belongs to the category of lazy people, in whom the thought of work causes exclusively disgust. The favorite pastime of such a character is to enjoy life, spending weekdays on the couch or with friends who share his interests and hobbies. The guy’s worldview slowly evolved over time, so changing the foundations of the chosen one overnight does not work even with a professional psychologist.
• Having lost his job or his own business, the partner is experiencing, which prevents him from getting a well-paid position. Problems with the chosen one and the lack of funds for the maintenance of the family are of little interest to the man, because he is in a depressed state.
• The guy can not find a job that matches his skills and knowledge that he received in a specialized educational institution. The lack of demand on the labor market and the unstable economic situation in the country are the main reasons why the specialty of men has ceased to be in demand among employers.

No need to wait until the moment. If, then do not set out to change the man. Otherwise, believe in a positive outcome of events, putting maximum effort for this.

Men at the genetic level have a concern for loved ones, therefore the maintenance of a family and help to parents are generally accepted phenomena recognized by society

Classification of parasites and lazy people

Having familiarized yourself with the prerequisites that directly affect the worldview of the spouse, you still can not go to work. The reason can be hidden in the complex of personal qualities of the chosen one. Traditionally, the types of guys who do not want to work are classified into the following categories:

"Sissy"

"" - these are weak-character men who are used to dominating a woman’s family. A similar format of relations has been forming in the mind of a guy for a long time, so he sincerely considers this model of communication to be the norm.

"Narcissus"

Chosen people with high self-esteem, which affects the attitude of men to employers and colleagues. These guys do not get along in the team, they are dismissed without explanation. Only the result remains unchanged - the environment is guilty of the events that happened, not the man.

"Misanthrope"

Since childhood, such guys have developed apathy for people, so he does not seek communication with strangers, turning to elevated tones and insults. In the XXI century, where the ability to convince an interested client of the relevance of the acquisition becomes the engine of trade, it is extremely difficult for such a man to find a job. Seniority the guy ends on the first day in a new place, during which he will always quarrel with the customer who has contacted the company.

"Melancholic"

“” - vulnerable men who are having difficulty surviving dismissal from their previous jobs. If you live with a spouse who has such traits, then difficulties in finding work will regularly accompany you throughout your life together.

"Gigolo"

To meet this kind of guys can only be a wealthy woman who is able to support not only her own person, but also a young husband. The husband prefers not to splurge on his wife, but on the contrary, is looking for a reason to replenish his personal savings, using the "purse" of a wealthy darling.

"Hoof"

Such men regularly promise their wife that they will go to work tomorrow. However, once again, the future boss refuses to find a job, guided by the lack of sufficient desire of the applicant. The guy is constantly in search of a new position, which must always satisfy the needs of a representative of a strong half of humanity.

"Unlucky man"

Among the variety of lazy people and parasites there is a category of men who are simply unlucky. Due to the ridiculous combination of circumstances, they cannot find a well-paid job. The guys regularly attend interviews, proving to the boss their own viability, but once again, luck turns its back on the applicant.

Options for resolving an established problem

Only after a thorough study of the issue, you can begin to search for solutions to an established problem, guided by the following recommendations:

• Find time and place for a serious conversation with your husband, during which he must understand the extent of your intentions. If a wife, dissatisfied with the course of events, does not inform her husband in an accessible way about her own vision of the situation, then it will not be possible to save the marriage. A man must realize this truth in order to project possible risks.
• Support your husband in his endeavors by providing moral assistance and extending a helping hand to the chosen one. If the problem is solely in the uncertainty and indecision of the spouse, then help him again to learn the charms of self-sufficiency. In rare cases, it is recommended that instead of a husband, a job search be sent by sending a resume of a lover to the electronic addresses of enterprises. When company management is interested in a man’s candidacy, let him know about this vacancy - let this victory be his first step on the road to success.
• Jointly visit a practicing psychologist who will contact your chosen one after learning the true reasons for not wanting to work. By diagnosing a spouse, a professional will help you find a way out of this situation by appointing additional sessions or immediately offering various solutions to the problem.
• Leave family life unchanged, not interested in the earnings of men. Spend money exclusively on your own needs, providing children and buying food at home. The ego of the spouse will not allow him to enjoy food intended for the child, and other needs (leisure, hobbies, etc.) will force him to go in search of work.
• Put an ultimatum to your husband - either he goes to work and supports his family, or moves to another apartment, independently satisfying his own needs. After a serious conversation, give your spouse a short period of time for reflection. Get ready for various options developments - it is possible that a man decides to leave his family.

In choosing a method, it is important to remember what is needed exclusively with the help of weighty motivating factors - the child’s education, treatment of the spouse or help to parents.

In this situation, the girl should clearly determine for herself - she wants to reanimate dying feelings or take advantage of a weighty argument, parting with a lazy chosen one.

The result of the work of the psychologist and the efforts of the wife is an employed spouse who has an interest in life. Adhering to uncomplicated advice, you can and a full-fledged family, without depriving the children of their father.

I met my former classmate, whom I had not seen for many years. She was surprised at the changes that happened to me. In conversation, she asked why I was so prettier. I joked that divorce had a positive effect on me. As you know, I was immediately asked the following question: “Why did you get divorced?”

It would seem a banal question that I heard dozens of times. However, each time he put me in a quandary. Well, do not explain to me in a row that my ex-husband did not want to work?


Reasons why a man does not want to work


However, my ex-husband, alas, is far from the only such instance. More and more often there are men who for one reason or another do not want to work. In an attempt to save our marriage, I went to many psychologists. Below I described the main tips I heard.
I am sharing these tips with you. Perhaps they will be able to help someone save not only love, but also family. However, remember that this is only general recommendations, no more.

A man who has temporarily lost his job

It is very important to understand why a man stopped working. In the event that a man previously worked, but for some reason fell under contraction, at first he will have a serious psychological shock. In this situation, the stupidest thing you can do is start scandals.

A wise woman, on the contrary, will support her man, give him time for a short respite, after which he will surely find a suitable job. And scandals and reproaches will lead only to loss of self-confidence and lower self-esteem in men.

However, most often the situation is different - a man does not temporarily lose his job, but constantly finds a thousand reasons preventing him from going to work. This is where the situation is much more difficult to fix.

Unrecognized geniuses

A very common type of parasites is unrecognized geniuses. Such men believe that they are so talented and ingenious that they cannot find a worthy place for themselves. As a rule, artists, poets and writers fall into this category. Although their genius can be argued for a long time.

Psychologists advise constantly praising such men, but at the same time, unobtrusively, but persistently and regularly remind them that food in the refrigerator, as well as clothes in the closet, do not appear on their own.

Eternal children


The second type of men who do not want to work is “sissy sissies”. They are used to being under guardianship and parental care all the time. And they basically do not imagine that they can work. As a rule, such instances very quickly transplant on the neck to the wife.

In this case, the advice of psychologists comes down to one. Constantly and persistently remind the man that maintaining a family is a man's duty. If a man does not understand this quickly enough, you can threaten him with a divorce.

Middle age crisis

And the third category of men is men who have a midlife crisis. Such men feel that years are running out, but they could not achieve everything they wanted. And this plunges them into depression and deprives them of interest in life in general.

And men like no other need the support of the woman who is next to him. Constantly praise him for any trifle, say how much you love him, and how much you need him. Emphasize its importance and relevance - this will help to overcome the crisis situation as quickly as possible.

How did I solve this problem?


Of course, it's up to you and only you to decide how to be. You can try these or other ways to influence a man, trying to make him work. But, as practice shows, if a man does not go to work for six months, it is unlikely that you will be able to somehow influence him. You can come to terms with the situation and put the family on yourself.

I tried to deal with the problem for 4 years, trying all kinds of measures to influence my husband - from persuasion to scandals. And so, one fine day I was tired of it. I packed up and left. And only being alone, I sighed freely. I was able to afford to pamper myself and the child, much more often than during my family life.